Readers, I would like you to know that I am suffering a personal crisis right now (dude, one broken nail I can handle, but three?), but I realize that my duty is to you. Therefore, I did this test in the bathroom at work. Um, on my lunch break, in case my bosses are reading. Hear that, bosses? I spend my lunch breaks testing weird Pinterest pins in the bathroom. Now you know.
There is somewhat of a glut of people making skirts out of shirts on Pinterest. Usually men’s shirts. This leaves me befuddled for several reasons: (1) Why would you think that a neck hole would work for your waist? (2) So great, now you have a skirt, but what is the poor guy you stole the shirt from doing? I mean, chest hair ain’t bad, but it’s not exactly business casual.
Anyway, I found a pin that is supposedly a way to make your shirt (and not your guy friend’s shirt, thank you baby Jesus, he can still go to work today) into a cute little skirt with a bow, as such:
I had my worries about this from the start. (1) My ass is much bigger than hers. (2) It’s a fucking shirt. Not a skirt.
But, I love you, and I live to serve. So I took myself to the giant handicapped bathroom stall and gave it a go.
I gamely took off the shirt and then put it on and shoved it down to my waist. This is when I realized with a drop of my guts that I had neglected to lock the stall door. I probably realized it because a woman opened the door, went, “Oops!” and then shut it real quick, but not before the look of horror registered on her face. I can’t imagine why. I was standing there in my bra, wrestling my shirt down to my waist. Doesn’t everyone do that in bathroom stalls at work?
The results were less than inspiring. I ended up with a weird-shaped thing that was too tight (even with all the buttons undone) and the arms wouldn’t reach far enough around my fat butt to tie in the tiniest of bows. Pinterest, today you have succeeded not only in affirming that I lack even the most basic DIY skills, but that I am also lardier than your average cute little pinner. Thank you.
My recommendation? Unless your waist is approximately 17″, skip this one.
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