Blue Balls

Ok, these aren’t called blue balls by anyone but me. The original pin actually called them raspberry balls. But blue balls sounds funnier, right? Right?

The main attraction of this pin for me was the caption: “Raspberry Balls: It’s incredibly simple and uses only four ingredients! Jello gelatin, coconut, sweetened condensed milk, almond extract.” Because anytime something is a little more than simple and has more than four ingredients, things get messed up pretty quick around here. But even I can handle squishing four ingredients together… right?

Well, your first clue that this wasn’t the greatest idea ever is that I decided I knew how to do it better than the recipe, and I bought blue Jello. Because blue balls are funny. (Laugh, damn it. It’s funny.)

Once I mixed it all up, it looked a little like I imagine it would look if you put a Muppet through a food processor.

G is for gorey, that's good enough for me.

Also, it was verreh messeh.

As far as the taste, I was sort of hoping for an explosion of awesome. Instead, it was sort of a crunchy, sugary, slimy mess. Also, images of Muppets and blue balls collided in my head and it made me gag a little. But that’s probably a personal problem more than anything else.

I conclude that this is not really my thing. But I’m bringing them to a Superbowl party anyway because I’m just a giving person like that (and also because I don’t have time to make anything else). So I’ll be spreading the blue balls love this evening.

It’ll be worth it purely for the opportunity to serve them while saying, “Here, eat my balls.”