I like to tell people I’m efficient, but that translates loosely to, “I’m a lazy motherfucker.” Crock pot dishes (no matter how unappetizing they may look) appeal to me mostly because they involve buying a cheap slab of meat, opening cans, and chucking it all in the crock pot to cook all day. Imagine my glee when I found a recipe that was not only the easiest thing ever, but also appeared to be kind of pretty to look at.
The recipe was simple enough even for me: throw some pork chops, a packet of ranch dressing powder, and a 10 oz can of cream of chicken soup in the crock pot. The end. Even I could not mess this up. And I didn’t. I swear. I followed the directions exactly.
Here’s what I came home to.
Weird pinkish pork chops crying out for mercy in a tiny, pitiful puddle of mostly burned gravy. I almost threw in the towel right here, scraped it out of the crock pot, and cried uncle.
But I was hungry.
I’ll tell you, my dining experience was not great. Not only was there very little gravy, but the pork chops were reeeeally dry. You guys, I promise I followed the recipe. I promise. I didn’t even fuck this one up on purpose, for real, but that shit nasty. Good thing I didn’t have my family over or something. It would have been the Griswold family Christmas dinner except with pork chops.
(“I don’t know about the cat, but I sure am enjoying it!”)
You might want to think twice before coming over to my house for dinner, even if the recipe only involves three ingredients and one step. Just a word to the wise.