Orange Julius Smoothie

0 Posted by - April 2, 2012 - Food & Drink

Once upon a time there was a girl who had overly fond memories of Orange Julius. She lived in Durham, which is in the middle of a vast desert when it comes to Orange Juliuses, the nearest being in the faraway land of Raleigh. Not long ago, our intrepid heroine drove to Raleigh specifically for the purpose of getting an Orange Julius, but lo, it sucked. Mightily. Like, the guy forgot to put the orange part in or something. And the girl was heartbroken and vowed never to long for an Orange Julius again.

But then like a minute later she saw a recipe on Pinterest and went, “Oooh I’m totally trying that!”

Alas, the girl did not have skim milk because, yea though she was a woman of 30 years, she could never manage to keep milk stocked in her refrigerator. (Wine, yes. Milk, no.)

Being a resourceful wench, she made half a cup of skim milk out of powdered milk, after consulting her books on the proper measurements.

(Resourceful wenches are not necessarily also good at math.)

Then she got out her blender, circa 1999, for the first time probably since the era of… college.

And though the blender smelled a little like burning hair when our plucky protagonist bravely hit the blend button, it produced a not-too-chunky approximation of a smoothie.

Knowing, verily, that using the Holy Grail to test pins does not guarantee success, she figured what-the-hell-it-couldn’t-hurt.

And, fair readers, this minstrel is happy to report that our story has a happy ending. For the fake Orange Julius sucked much less than the recent real Orange Julius did, and our heroine lived happily ever after (until she got a wicked stomach ache from drinking the whole damn blender full).

19 Comments

  • Robbie April 2, 2012 - 8:19 pm Reply

    The holy grail is what made it ok. Had it been in a red solo cup, it would have sucked.

  • Julie April 3, 2012 - 4:14 am Reply

    Whew! I was worried when we got to the buring hair smell. Yay! It worked!

  • pat roos April 3, 2012 - 8:27 am Reply

    omg, i LOVE orange julius’es; it’s an island childhood thing!

  • Different Busy | Sonja Foust April 11, 2012 - 12:55 pm Reply

    […] made myself an Orange Julius and drank it out of the cup of Christ, for […]

  • Pink Salty Dog | Pintester April 26, 2012 - 8:17 pm Reply

    […] had to get out my blender for this one. As you’ll recall, it’s my circa 1999 blender. It ain’t no […]

  • Regina W June 14, 2012 - 7:47 pm Reply

    My mom always made us orange juliuses from a recipe similar to the linked one. Then one day I tried a REAL orange julius and I just about spit it out. Fake ones are much yummier. :)

  • Kate H June 25, 2012 - 11:23 am Reply

    We make an alcoholic version whipped vodka and orange juice, can be blended if you like but tastes great either way.

    • Val June 25, 2012 - 9:18 pm Reply

      I just made one too…but I used Orange dreamsicle vodka. It was so good.

  • Courtney June 25, 2012 - 8:37 pm Reply

    OMG I love your holy grail. and your blog!

  • Lauren June 28, 2012 - 2:55 pm Reply

    Do you know what’s really good in a fake Orange Julius? Vodka.

  • KaceyV July 4, 2012 - 12:54 am Reply

    Ah! I’m late night blog reading and just realized we live in the same city! Go Bull City! :)

  • Lacey July 5, 2012 - 10:52 am Reply

    I have the same Monty Python chalice! I got it at Pint Night at a bar in Austin! I love you! 

  • sarahstarlitt July 11, 2012 - 7:07 pm Reply

    yay! a happy ending. well, you know. as much as possible on this kind of blog. :)

  • virtualdespot August 7, 2012 - 4:26 am Reply

    Gurl, pleaze. This is another *UNEQUIVOCAL* WIN.

  • AmyBeauto August 8, 2012 - 10:07 pm Reply

    Where did you get your monty python cup? That is awesome! Love your blog.

  • SerenityMoon27 August 9, 2012 - 11:07 am Reply

    Lol. I have yet to find anything worth driving all the way to Raleigh for..especially as its 45-60 minutes away for me. Ha!
    I might consider trying this recipe now…but I kinda feel sad that I dont have the awesome Monty cup that you do…I guess LotR will have to suffice..

  • Diana August 10, 2012 - 9:45 am Reply

    Once upon a time, before the Target on 15-501 was a Target and used be known as South Square Mall, there used to be an Orange Julius in there.  Once upon a time…

  • chris August 12, 2012 - 9:45 pm Reply

    OMG please tell me where an Orange Julius is/used to be in Raleigh!  I was reminiscing a few days ago about things I had growing up (NY).  Then we were in Fuquay today and there’s a DQ/Orange Julius there.  He still insists there was never any such thing.  He grew up in Cary but I know he’s been to North Hills (old version) and Crabtree plenty of times.  Can’t wait to rub this one in!  Also, can’t wait to make one!

    • Pintester August 12, 2012 - 11:00 pm Reply

      Brier Creek!

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