No-Bake Energy Bites

1 Posted by - June 2, 2012 - Food & Drink

I gotta admit, these weren’t immediately tempting when I saw them on Pinterest…

Image by gimmesomeoven.com

The original author of this post made them for a “quick hop up to Breckenridge.” All I’m taking is a quick hop up the stairs to change the sheets on the guestroom bed, but you know, that takes energy, too. Also, I had all the ingredients! Since that is the only time this will ever, ever happen, I took photographic evidence.

To begin with, I was a little bit dubious about this recipe. We know how the last balls with coconut in them turned out. Buuut, it gives me the opportunity to write the word “balls” in a post numerous times, so that kind of makes any result worth it.

I got to mixing my ingredients, and I will tell you what, I think I used every measuring cup I had to get all this stuff in here.

Also, all my mixing bowls were dirty, so this one happened in my giant popcorn bowl.

I couldn’t figure out how to mix all this stuff together, really, and there were no specific instructions in the original post, so I did what any self-respecting no-bake cook would do. I used my hands. It was sort of therapeutic, actually. I have no photographic evidence of this step, however, because I was flying solo on this one and there was no way I could nab a pic without permanently encrusting my photography device in sticky ball-slime.

But here’s what it looked like when it was all mixed up:

Were you thinking cat vomit? Yeah, me too, kinda. Gotta say, at this point, I was not overly excited about these things.

I popped it in the refrigerator for half an hour, as instructed, and then got it back out and rolled balls. Many, many tiny balls. Balls as far as the eye could see. I made 30 teensy little gerbil balls out of this batch.

Anticlimactically, these did not fail spectacularly. They are actually pretty good. Sort of like a tiny Cliff bar. But do they give you energy? Meh. I ate two or three and then went to bed, so you be the judge.

The verdict? If you don’t mind eating a thing that looks like a cat vomit meatball, go for it. They’re actually not terrible.

(Damn right that’s a bottle of gin in the background. That’s how I roll. Meaning that I roll via not putting shit away in the kitchen before I take photos for my blog.)

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  • http://www.sarracannon.com Sarra Cannon

    Wow, these actually look really good! Nice balls!

    • Pintester

      Like.

  • Joanna

    Ahahaha “sticky ball-slime” had me rolling!

  • http://litdiva.blogspot.com Lora

    Okay, so they’re not gorgeous. Neither is the oatmeal banana bread I just mixed up (think canine diarrhea) but it turns out well so I may consider these.

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  • http://andrisbear.com/ Andris Bear

    Love your balls, Sonja. I might even try them. ;}

  • Alana

    You had wheat germ lying around the house? Are you secretly healthier and/or more domestic than you’d have us believe? ;-)

    • Pintester

      Neither. I bought that shit specifically for this. I’m sure it will rot in my pantry until eternity now.

      • http://chinacrow.weebly.com Margaret

        I so wanted to try these, now I may actually. You are freakin hilarious… I have found a new blog to take up some of my time here in China (see my blog). BTW put wheat germ on anything, its good for you and it doesn’t taste like anything!

  • mae

    they look good y a prob?

  • http://www.facebook.com/amyleighyoung Amy Young

    Those are very nicely portioned balls. Did you lick them to regain your energy after downing that Bombay?

  • Sally MacPhee

    I made these myself and they turned out awesome!!!

  • amber

    can i say you are the only other person i know that loves gin that much and one of the better gins at that! amen!!

  • Fish Out of Water

    Mmmmmmmmmmm. Balls.

  • http://candleashes.wordpress.com CandleAshes

    I made something similar (don’t think it was the exact recipe, but very close) in cookie form for a “no-bake” school sale and they were a big hit. I think the cookie form just looks like oatmeal cookies, the ball shape is very odd.

  • Ali B

    I made this exact recipe before and they turned out great! Maybe you missed something?

    • Jenn N

      she didn’t say she didn’t like them only that they LOOKED like cat vomit….

  • http://gravatar.com/txhrc4 txhrc4

    This is probably the recipe I make the most from pinterest. I think they’re really good and they are very filling. I usually can only eat three before I get full.

  • robyng

    So…I didn’t read your whole blog post, but I have made these balls. And I found them delicious. I’ll go back and get your verdict on them now…

  • jana

    Were they similar to “Sweaty Balls”?

    • http://gravatar.com/lauramac103 Laura

      Don’t you mean “Shweaty Balls”? LOL

  • Angel

    Thanks for showing me your balls…they looked lovely. As did the gin…hell ya!

  • Krista

    …this may be a bit forward or perhaps stalkerish, but:
    1. Balls – hahahahaha
    2. Excellent choice in gin
    3. I think I love you and want to be your BFF

    (and now you may block me)

  • Mostly Flummoxed

    So funny. I think I love you. Thank you for this. I am now going to search your site for that stupid “spray paint coffee beans silver and it’s so awesome” pin that you might have tried. I have tried to debunk that myth since I saw it 8 months ago. I was a coffee roaster and an self-proclaimed expert at everything and realized those “coffee beans” were actually metal fake ones. Please try it if you haven’t already.

  • mimisjewelbox

    Try freezing them to lower the yuk factor.

  • ErinRae

    cat vomit ftw!

  • VictoriaDavis

    hahahahahahaha they don’t look that bad now… 

  • Joanna

    You have a seriously bad attitude going into things… no wonder they don’t turn out for you.

    • Pintester

      My psyche TOTALLY messes stuff up. All the time. I’m blaming all my fuck-ups on my bad attitude (and not my poor crafting skills) from now on. WIN.

    • ellensy2009

      You have a seriously bad attitude posting on blogs and are clearly too negative (or intellectually challenged) to understand humor.  No wonder nobody likes you.

    • ellensy2009

      At Joanna:
       
      You have a seriously bad attitude commenting on blogs and are clearly too negative (or intellectually challenged) to understand humor.  No wonder nobody likes you.

  • Jenn N

    i have laughed so much today!  These are hysterical!  keep testing!!

  • Gurly

    Maybe you should have added the gin for the peerkyness  ;)

  • Skepticalnymph

    I don’t get it. They look just like the original. Good job.

  • FerntuckySarah

    You’re my new favorite blogger. Thank you.

  • Lori at EclecticMamma

    I’m pretty sure you need to add a disclaimer to your header that states “DO NOT EAT OR DRINK WHILE READING THIS BLOG.”
     
    There may or may not be Dr Pepper all over my (work) keyboard, but I’ll never tell.

  • VileBe4uty

    I make these all the time. LOVE THEM! I can eat 3 for breakfast and not be hungry until lunch. Doesn’t get much better than that! Everyone at work keeps stealing them from me. I ran out in 2 days!

  • JBear

    I love the fact that this is now the third post I’ve read where you substituted a popcorn ingredient or apparatus.  A tip of the popcorn salt shaker to you, madam!

    • JBear

      I have to update that I made these balls with my bare hands, and they’re so good when they hit your lips. :-D

  • lizzyd8530

    I think we are soulmates..I too love being able to write “balls” – makes me giggle! Recently though, I have been writing them as “bawls” cause that’s how I pronounce “balls”.

  • MountainMama

    I make these for my kids all time and I think they are such a hit becuse a wing the extras – like adding chocolate chips…always!! coconut, craisins etc….. and O press them into my teaspoon measuring spoon so they are literally poppable and in small doses(for an adult)
    I have spent most of my evening checking out your blog nd can I just…you are awesome!!!!

  • cindygoo

    My stomach is hurting from laughing so hard!!!!!!

  • JLT

    I love these!  I made them a lot when I was pregnant.  I didn’t have the extra energy but the baby was a lunatic after I ate them, so there may be something to it.

  • http://jntphotography.zenfolio.com/ JeannieNewbury

    Maybe you went to bed because of that Gin? LOL 

  • kasifrass

    My husband regularly requests these after I tried making them from the same post.  I tried rolling them into balls the first time, but… eh… it’s more fun to sit in a dark corner and eat the entire bowl with a spoon.  Healthy!

  • Sarah11

    Your website does nothing but make me laugh! And for that I thank you!

  • Sarah11

    Your website does nothing but make me laugh! And for that I thank you!
     

  • cassiesteger

    Hilarious. You and thebloggess are now my favorite blogs of all time. But please, for the love of god, switch to Bombay Sapphire!

  • Deets2

    Will you be my new best friend?

  • GraveDancer40

    My best friend and I made these for a 24 hour race to get us through the night and they tasted amazing!! I had energy afterwards but that might have been the 5 Hour Energy I chased them with…

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  • Ali from Gimme Some Oven

    Ha!!!  A friend just forwarded this onto me.  So glad you ended up moving past the cat vomit stage and gave these a taste test.  :)
     
    Totally following your site now, btw.  Stellar.

  • A34very

    “cat vomit meatball” I’m dying! hahahaha

  • MarthaMcNeely

    Oooops, must have to have that vegetarian, oatmeal, coconut craving going to LOVE these things!  I’ve made them several times!  But I do love your blog!  You are saving me from some terrible outcomes!  LOL!

  • megarnerful

    You have missed your calling. If you are not writing fabulously funny television shows, or standup comedy and making 6 figures (or more) doing so, you have the wrong job. I laugh my butt off at your posts, and I’m not the laugh-y type. Kudos! And keep it up.

  • Amanda I

    I’m not a big fan of these but my kids like them

  • sjirish12

    Thanks for the entertainment on this Pinterest recipe!  I actually make these on a regular basis and eat them for breakfast every morning.  Each morning though my husband has a new nickname for them…. he hasn’t gotten to “cat vomit neatballs” yet.

  • mlrasnick

    You eat these before bed, you have energy to sleep. Bet you slept awesome. You eat these before a race & you’re friggin’ Forrest Gump. I did! I had the energy. For serious. And I hate running. It’s stupid unless you’ve stole something, then it makes sense.

  • Sophia

    i made a batch of these a month ago my husband took them to work i thought he could use them as snacks for the week , yea right they were all gone that day.. everyone wanted to know if i would send more the next time

  • Rebecca Bergmann

    This was hilarious as always. I have a hard time trying food that looks awful. Like sailsbury steak from the freezer section. It looks like dog food.