The Miracle Mask

1 Posted by - June 6, 2012 - Hair & Beauty

Disclaimer: This mask does not turn water into wine or feed thousands with a loaf and a fish. So miracle is probably sort of a strong term. But I didn’t name the damn thing.

Image from Elle.com, used on collegefashion.net

Another disclaimer, if I may: This post is pretty obviously meant for college students. It’s on collegefashion.net and the title of the post is Dorm Room Spa. I am not a college student and haven’t been one for quite some time, so that is perhaps why this pin did not thrill me as much as it should have.

Perhaps.

Probably not.

And, also, if it were really meant as a beauty treatment you can do in your dorm room with just the stuff on hand, it should probably be made out of Ramen noodles, Doritos, and pot. Just sayin’.

Anyway, it all started pretty well. I mixed up the goop into a paste, and then did my best not to eat it because OH MY GOD IT SMELLED SO GOOD. Not even kidding.

Ingredients are honey, nutmeg, and cinnamon, so it was kind of like smelling a really delicious cinnamon bun… That you then decided to smear all over your face.

Yeah. Here’s where it got weird. Probably because it was time to smear it all over my face.

(I kind of still wanted to eat it.)

I then attempted to leave the mask on my face for the prescribed 30 minutes. However, I was making some cat vomit meatballs and noticed a little extra flavor dropping in at odd intervals.

Drippage, my dear!

I really tried to leave it on for the full 30 minutes, but after a few drips, I couldn’t take it anymore.

They should have done a disclaimer about the rinsing process.

Disclaimer: If you accidentally get some of this in your eye while you are scrubbing in a circular motion to exfoliate, it will feel like you just squirted half a bottle of Sriracha in there.

Disclaimer: This makes a big shitty mess in the sink. I chose the word “shitty” carefully.

Disclaimer: You will think you have finally washed your face clean, and then when you go to towel your face, your towel will look like this.

Cick to embiggen, you know, for the full effect.

The real kick in the head about all this? I did this mask on Saturday. It is now the following Thursday and I’m having a major pre-adolescent zit-fest on my face. So, unless you’re doing the Ramen-Dorito-pot version of this (send pictures), you probably should skip it.

  • http://www.kategeorge.com Kate George

    God I love you! Now I know epic fails are not mine alone. Sorry about the zit fest. Bummer.

    • http://urthalun.com/ Julie

      Exactly! What Kewl Kate said, because holy crap, I do love your posts SO damn much! And bonus? I don’t have to make messes of my own, you do it for us!

  • http://thyroidfantasy.wordpress.com Kimberly

    If it were made from my dorm room ingredients, it would be cold pizza and my roommate’s beer. Best face mask ever!

  • http://nostalgiccafe.blogspot.com/ Michele

    I’ve always wondered why masks and other treatments bring on the zits.

  • http://karenb1963.wordpress.com Karen (Betty Bear)

    Every time I see one of your Pintester posts I get a little internal sqeeee of delight because they are just so damn entertaining.

    Freshman year would have been a mask of vodka and cocaine, both courtesy of roommate from hell, which probably would have done really weird things to my skin.

  • Sondra

    I love you just for using “embiggen”.

  • http://momsomnia.wordpress.com Devon

    The zits are brought on by your skin cleaning itself out. The mask probably worked! But it’s good to have other products on hand, too (moisturizer, a daily cleanser, etc.) to minimize future breakouts.

    I love your posts! Keep up your brave experiments for the good of us all! :)

    And it is kind of weird that honey, nutmeg, and cinnamon might be “things you have around a dorm room”. Those are EXPENSIVE things! I barely had the money to buy laundry detergent at the dollar store! Depending on the state of cafeteria food, a Pepto Bismol mask might have been more realistic. :)

  • Melda

    You are my hero! I want to be your best friend and hang with you! So glad my hubby was walking the dogs when I read this or he would have sent me to the institute, which I have thought is where I belong. You are so funny..keep it up!

    • http://threebedsemi.blogspot.co.uk/ Steff

      Can I hang with you guys? Please?? *begs with puppy eyes* I promise I provide honey and cinnamon and bleach the towels! As I won’t have a home in the near future anyway, the Mister seems to think I’m off my bloody tree. But what do they know.

  • http://hometownperch.com/ Stacie @hometownperch

    Oh my gosh. I’m laughing so hard! I’ve added you to my Google Reader because I have to keep track of all this funny shit!

  • http://gravatar.com/tekaranlady tekaranlady

    I actually love that mask. But, I have really sensitive skin, so I can only leave it on for about three minutes. It doesn’t have time to really get drippy. Never had a problem with a breakout afterward.

  • kirby

    Luv it going to have to try it

  • http://Sarahdoremusart.com Sarah

    I just did this the other day and pretty much everything you said happened haha. Ugh the post breakouts suck :/ but your blog is hilarious, keep it up!

  • http://www.facebook.com/heather.davisson.7 Heather Davisson

    Let me just say… That I love you.

  • http://voneinspired.com voneemerson

    I was thinking for trying this out – now, I’m not so sure.

  • Vanessa

    I didn’t have the breakout problem, but the cinnamon did burn the hell out of my skin. No bueno…

  • http://twitter.com/verylazydaisy daisy (@verylazydaisy)

    I am seriously in love with you. You’re bloody brilliant! I look forward to seeing which things on pinterest are worth trying. Thanks for being our guinea pig! :-)

  • Marcia

    Ha, ha! I pinned this also, and tried it since I had all the ingredients at home. It DOES smell delicious, and I also suffered lots of drippage… I thought I was going to enjoy a spa-like moment at home (not very common), with a good book and whatever, and oh, was I wrong, my hubby was laughing at me, cause I kept going to get something to catch the drips! But fun to try, none the less!

  • http://www.mellywashere.blogger.com Melly

    Thanks for the shitty mess in the sink disclaimer. I always appreciate warnings about shitty messes.

  • joyce

    Why are you so funny? Now I must read everything you wrote and ditch studying….

  • http://sfonewb.wordpress.com elanbuendia

    You are funny!! I love your writing style.

    MAN! eek… I’m not surprised your face was not happy… cinnamon and nutmeg on your face for that long is no good! sorry you had to ‘pintest’ to find out!

    Honey on your facial skin is a GREAT idea though! ;) So softening! :)

  • Hillary V

    Oh man… I am in tears :) Sorry about the zit fest

  • Clare

    Masks and other facial treatments cause breakouts because they are designed to exfoliate the skin and then draw the impurities to the surface. When the impurities are drawn out, there you have le zits. A facial cleanser after the mask should do the trick or minimize it.

  • http://gravatar.com/ajt71 ajt71

    Seriously, I’m laughing so hard I’m crying at my desk. Thank you for turning a boring Tuesday afternoon at work into my best day all week.

  • Nicole

    I used this for three weeks to try to combat hormonal acne (thank you, little baby that I’m carrying!) and it did seem to minimize old acne scars…but after three weeks it should have been doing more for my skin than it did. It probably would work for college students–who still have puberty acne, not hormonal.

  • mimisjewelbox

    Oh my! I have a teenager at home that spends $$$$$$$ on this type of ridulousness!
    Stick to a nice egg white facial!

  • semisocial

    this is the best blog ever

  • http://noisyquiet.blogspot.com/ Noisy Quiet

    You are going to save me so much time on things… thank you.

  • http://www.welcometomontalvocountry.blogspot.com/ Nicholle

    I may or may not be having a coronary from laughing so hard at your posts!  You are hilarious!  LOVE your site!!!!

  • Kait

    I found your blog on Pinterest (ironic), and I have successfully wasted away my afternoon laughing my ass off. I had to stop reading during “Miracle Mask” because I was crying from laughing so hard!

  • HisTechnoAngel

    “it should probably be made out of Ramen noodles, Doritos, and pot” … I laughed until I cried… and then I thought it was genius and why hasn’t that been done yet?! ;D

  • VictoriaDavis

    Lol funny but i’m not surprised this was a fail! I could of come up with something better in about 5 minutes! (I make homemade soaps,lotions, etc.)  I’m sorry that it didn’t work for you…. :(

  • Natasha

    I tried something very similar to this, in fact it may have been this recipe and I ended up with a chemical burn. I could not leave it on for the prescribed time either, not for the dripping but for the burning. I lasted about 2 minutes. It said that it reduced redness and acted as an anti-inflammatory. I went to work looking like a lobster. 

  • dollarcraft

    Hahahahah! I love it. And, the pot-dorito-ramen noodle mask idea cracked me up. Perhaps you should do an exclusive dorm room mask with some of those ingredients.

  • Lori

    LOL  You are hilarious.  I just found your blog and I love it. :)   I must admit, I have used this exact recipe several times and you are exactly right about the drips. I never last the entire 30 minutes either.  It does work well for me as far as the results though.
     

  • MJ

    OMG you should do some You Tubes of your commentaries!

  • lizziedee

    Seriously one of the funniest blogs I’ve read! Love it! You should have seen my pinterest fail of a crock pot recipe – one of the hardest things to fuck up ever and I did it!

  • Hayleigh

    I tried this and it all just wound up dripping off of my face as well. I thought I had somehow managed to mess it up, but I’m glad to see that wasn’t the case.

  • kissycastaneda

    i tried this (or a variation thereof…) and it stained my very pale white skin.  not exactly the effect i was going for!  =^S
     

  • Julez

    Cannot stop laughing.  Awesome commentary
     

  • Amanda83

    LMAO I love this!! I cant stop laughing!! 

  • mcleaveland_08

    I physically cannot stop laughing, this is the best fail I’ve read yet!

  • Valleygurlie916

    I made the mistake of reading this blog at the reception desk at my job and now people think I am completely crazy. I’m laughing so hard I am actually crying.

  • fuzzybat06

    “It is now the following Thursday and I’m having a major pre-adolescent zit-fest on my face.” That means it worked. Masks are meant to bring out all the nasty stuff underneath your face. I’ve never tried any of these diy ones, but the kind you buy from the store I only do about bi-monthly.

  • Nancy

    OMG this is so funny….laughing so hard I’m crying….love that you invented a new word “embiggen”
    that’s a great word…. love  the line “I chose the word shitty carefully!”

  • Caroline

    The kids are at the sitter’s and I’m suppose to be working, but I can’t stop reading.  This one is hilarious AND disgusting.  I can’t believe you put that on your face!

  • ChristineWhite

    OMG, I can’t stop laughing while reading your fails.  THANK YOU!

  • MalloryEdens

    You should have added a tbsp of lemon juice to it. I use this mask regularly, and despite the messiness, adding the lemon makes it amazing. I have the worst acne prone skin and this helps give it a deep clean….

  • binkwaffle

    Now, see, I actually like this one, for my face, anyway. But I make it super thick, adding just enough honey to make it spreadable, and then I only use it in the shower or a bubble bath. That way, I drip into the tub… or onto my Nook… :-)  Then I rinse as well as I can, following it up with regular soap or face soap. I did try once to add some coconut oil (because we Pinterest fans all know that’s the miracle oil. LOL), and it turned into a slippery doughy mess that wouldn’t spread on my face. Guess it counteracted the stickiness of the honey.  :-)
    Just don’t look in the tub when I’m done. If you forget to rinse all those spices out afterwards, be prepared for a tub scrubbing session the next day! 

  • shinypinklexus

    My mask was made from Ramen noodles, Cheetos, Vanilla Smirnoff, and pot. My roommate was not impressed. I fucking was, though.

  • RubyRoberts

    haha!
     

  • JoshuaCappuccilli

    I have been poking around on here for a while now. I can’t find anything that is as good as it looks on pinterest. This makes me sad – surely SOMETHING must be real right?

  • jfrancesdesign

    OMG, I totally had this pinned and have been meaning to do it. Thanks for saving my face!

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  • CheriCiatti

    You crack me up.  lmfao.

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  • ashleyvivian

    I think I fucking love you.
     

  • LexieFloyd

    I tried this mask, and I had to take it off after 5 minutes because my face was burning. My face was red for maybe, 5 hours? Then I broke out the next day. BAD MASK. BAD.

  • AmandaBrine

    Thank you for posting this!  I was going to go home this afternoon and treat myself.  I think not.
     

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  • ahcole

    TEARS!! Seriously crying uncontrollably!! LOVE IT!

  • Cassandy

    so … cat vomit meatballs leave you with shit face and zits.  While I like Sriracha in a sauce for spicy taste, I won’t be doing this to my face!!!!  great from the heart comments!  Love it.

  • kadiesmagadies

    If you want a mask that won’t make you break out (hopefully), try mixing coffee grounds (fresh or used) with honey. Exfoliate everywhere! Definitely use it in the shower though, so if it gets in your hair it can wash out and it’s easier clean up.

    • LexieFloyd

      Thanks for posting this, I’ll try it.

  • Trish S

    Thank you…I can’t stop laughing…too funny…

  • Silvercarwash

    hahahha hilarious

  • jhen

    Ok seriously thank you for this one because knowing that someone else broke out, probably means that I will too… Thus never EVER trying this. Also scared I’ll get it in my eye… Thanks a lot for the description on that one haha!

  • Esthetician

    When using facial masks, you’re going to break out. Whether it’s because you’re allergic to it, or the fact that the mask is doing it’s job-bringing the crap in your pores to the surface. Most break outs happen 1-4 days after you use the mask, so don’t go get a super expensive facial right before a big event. 

  • Ctaylor

    You are hilarious! And I really appreciate the fact that you let us real people know how this stuff actually works! Are there blogging awards – cuz you should certainly win one. Frickin’ awesome writing :) Oh – I am NOT trying this one!

  • Lillique

    I just started reading your blog because i found it on pinterest. I can’t stop reading nor can i stop laughing until i cry. i’m gonna be a freshman in college this week and once i read “it should probably be made out of Ramen noodles, Doritos, and pot” i completely lost it! i laughed until i cried and almost peed myself! i love you!!!!!!!

  • kattb

     @fuzzybat06 Many dermatologists I’ve read have said that the whole “it works if you break out after ’cause it brought the junk out” is wrong. If it worked it would have unclogged the pores and she would not have broken out. If you break out after something it’s because it did the opposite and clogged the pores.
     
    A product that works unclogs pores or kills bacteria. After either you don’t break out.

    • Chanelle

      Except Retin-A Micro works exactly like this. Used that for a few months (it made me break out horribly after 2 weeks and that lasted another 2ish weeks), but after that, my skin has been absolutely perfect for years!… Just sayin.

  • Norene

    Embiggen is from The Simpsons.  I am *so* happy she used that word!

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  • Sophie

    I am SO mad! I found this mask on Pinterest earlier tonight and tried it. It failed, obviously…it’s terrible. THEN, I found this blog, namely this post. I wish I would have found you an hour earlier and saved myself a bunch of sticky, awful messiness. 

  • skye

    I do this mask all the time and it works brilliantly! I had major scarring from acne growing up and my skin is nearly flawless….if you use less honey it isn’t as drippy. Hilarious none the less but still a great mask alternative.

  • artster920

    I actually really like this mask (but I add lemon for an extra kick).  Use a lil less honey and lay down for the 30 min! But either way you are hilarious and it does sting like a mother if it gets in your eyes!!

  • MarilynMiller2004

    you are so freaking funny…but think i’ll pass on the mask
     

  • lauriann

    My daughter and I did this about 2 months ago.  Me: “Daughter, let’s bond over facials.  I found this nifty one on pinterest that we should try.” 
    We took turns painting it on each others faces with a brush.  We laughed our asses off watching each other try to contain the drippage  and the mystery is  …  why on earth did I refrigerate the rest of it?  I will not ever use that drippy concoction again.  I do agree though…It smelled pretty yummy.

  • MandieMasse

    I did this mask with Lemon in it, and i love it! The first time i did it my face burned for 5 minutes but, i was told that means its working. I do it about once a week, and i actually have noticed change to my face! the redness, and scaring from my acne is going away.Yes, it  is drippy and  i have yet to get it to be thick like they say. but i work with it, and its okay.Love your 

  • Erin

    You are AWESOME!!! I love this post, you are absolutely hilarious.

  • guest2034

    I tried this mask a couple times (I was somehow under the impression it was working…which it was not) and first of all, it looks NOTHING like the picture. It also really burned and left my face red, but that could just be my sensitive skin. Im pretty sure it did nothing for my forehead breakouts, but it did taste good :P
     

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  • MarthaMcNeely

    Thanks so much for testing this one for me so I don’t have to!!!!!  :)

  • nikkib76

    THis made me laugh so hard. Reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire. Helloooooo Dear!

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  • hoodjl2

    you are the funniest person ever. i feel like you’re my long lost best friend! haha
     

  • Courtney

    So funny! I have this pinned but I’ll just delete it now.

  • Chaz

    I actually do this on a regular basis (I didn’t get it of pinterest, I found it years ago while trying to figure out how to take care of my adult acne while not destroying my super sensitive and allergic to everything skin). It does actually work for me but I will agree that its a pain. Sometimes I add an egg yolk to because I’ve been told by a million people that egg helps acne. It seems to work better with the egg (and then Im not tempted t eat it lol)

  • Bee2385

    I love your blog, just and FYI and someone has probably already mentioned this, but if you are breaking out then the mask works, the point of the mask is to bring impurities to the top of the skin.  The only way for those impurities to get out of your skin is the way they came in, so the breakout is a great sign.  I would use the mask a few more times.  The same thing happened to me when I started using my Clarisonic, two weeks into it, I looked like a teenager with puberty, but about a month after daily use, my face looked great and now I cannot go without it.
     
    Thanks for the fun blog!

  • Not_Supermom

    GAH!  No. Just… no.

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  • Rose C.

    way to take one for the team!

  • Sarah

    I will Defedently not be reading your blog anymore. You should probably get your facts straight about college student. I am one and I’m offended.

    • Shelbie

      Hard to believe you’re a college student and don’t know how to spell ‘definitely.’ Anyway, I’m a college student, too, and I think it’s hilarious. Sorry you’re wasting your money on an education that’s giving you a closed mind!

  • http://twitter.com/MelanieKissell Melanie Kissell

    Sonja, when the air and the B.S. get too thick …
    I’m telling everyone I know to head over here! ;)

    Sorry about the resulting zitfest. But wasn’t it fun to feel like a college student again … zits and all? LOL!!

    You’re a riot and a half! Thanks for the free giggles.

  • Nikki

    Im sorry this stuff doesn’t work, but you sure have made me laugh alot reading about it. Thanks

  • tasha

    WILL YOU PLEASE TEST THE TEETH WHITNING?!

  • Arianna

    The last time I used some cinnamon on my face I felt the istant urge to scratch my skin off together with the mask…and after washing away the whole stuff, I was left with a reeeeally red and swollen up face.
    Does it smell good? YEP.
    Will I ever do it again? NO. ^^’
    (Will I still try stupid mixture I find on Pinterest? Obviously yes……..)

  • Heather

    I LOVE that you used the word ‘embiggen’.
    And I’m sitting here jonesing for a cupcake but I’m too damn lazy to do anything about it, so that recipe has me salivating. Dammit.

  • Karen

    I NEVER use sugar, honey, or any other food item on my face, especially in the bathroom. This made me really, really laugh out loud! Thanks for the fun.

  • Chrystal

    Love your blog! Thanks for the information and the laughs! I can imagine things working out for me the same way they do you.. so thank you for sparing me the horrors! ;)

  • jamc100

    I tried this mask, and it burned so bad. Don’t use it if you have sensitive skin.

  • Katie

    HAAHAH I am laughing out loud. This is amazing.

  • Rebecca Bergmann

    This mask sounds awful. Getting regular scrubs in my eyes hurts, I couldn’t imagine cinnamon in my eyes.

  • Natale

    I’ve it had this mask reccomended to me by three other beauty bloggers, its the worst. each tme it destroyed my face