Baking Soda Blackhead Remover

0 Posted by - September 10, 2012 - Hair & Beauty

Guys, my face should have zero blackheads by now. I mean, I’ve tried a whole bunch of blackhead removers. And yet (and yet!), I keep coming back for more abuse.

This pin doesn’t show a picture of the blackhead remover, but it does take you to a page with several at-home beauty remedies, including one that involves pouring beer on your head. I shit you not.

You know how I feel about doing anything with alcohol besides just drinking it. So I didn’t test that one. I tested the baking soda and milk blackhead remover.

I had to use up my milk anyways.

Oops. This is one beauty remedy I will not be tasting, thanks.

Anyway, when mixed, it looked like… well, milk. And honestly, it didn’t mix that well. It was mostly milk with baking soda at the bottom.

After following the directions exactly, it sort of felt like I just rubbed ever-so-slightly gritty milk into my face. And I could not see a big difference.

So, I decided to go all Mythbusters on this one and re-tool it until something happened or something exploded, whichever came first. Spoiler alert: nothing exploded. I know, guys. I know. If you want to stop reading now, I will understand.

Basically, I poured out all of the milk until I was left with a sticky baking soda paste at the bottom of my measuring cup, and I scrubbed that shit into my pores.

Bonus fact: this will also take off your fingernail polish and turn your make-up sponge sort of nail polish pink, and then you will panic and think you have somehow made yourself hemorrhage pink blood from your face. This will be the most exciting part of the process.

Then I took a shower to rinse it all off, because, lo, it was a fucking mess.

And the results? Well, my face sort of felt cleaner, I guess. My pores look the same guys. Except way redder where I scrubbed.

Sad face. Because irritated skin is not as cool of a result as an explosion. I have failed you. I apologize.

  • Dovetail

    Oh my god, I literally had to get out of bed just now because I was laughing so hard, and trying not to make any noise ( because my husband was sleeping at one in the afternoon). Even my ferrets came over to see if I was dying or not. I totally read your blog from start the end and it’s GREAT. Usually I only try the pins I know I can do ( like making an oil lamp because who doesn’t like power tools) I’m totally your new stalker now! I’ll even share my booze with you.

  • franklinsgirl21

    I feel your pain. I pintested the one that calls for egg whites and tissue paper to create a mask for removing blackheads. Fail. Keep ‘em coming girl!! Totally get a kick out of you! Good stuff!

  • http://cheapasschick.blogspot.com/ naiadknight

    I’ve tried what seems like every blackhead remover recipe under the sun and all of them have failed. (Except the toothpaste.  That shit worked.)  I feel your pain.  (Love your blog, by the way.  I’ve been blogstalking you for several weeks.)

  • TaryTaylor

    aren’t these the same ingredients that will clean a sink clog???…… LOL    jk, still love ya. Keep up the good work

  • ecommissaris

    I tried this too. I really keep hoping one of these things will work on blackheads, but no. I knew it would be bad when my skin started to burn. I was a bit red which is bad enough but then then the next day the skin on my nose was really dry and peeling. That’s super attractive to look like you have boogers hanging out your nose all day.

    • http://pinterest.com/ioffendreason IoffendReason

      ecommissaris You poor thing!!! If you use baking soda, you’re only supposed to use a tiny, tiny bit. I’ve never been game to try it though. Sounds brutal.

  • Truffles8761

    After my first attempt at one of these, I am loathe to try any others.  I can’t stand the pain of losing a layer of face skin.  To be perfectly honest, I can’t spare it.

  • Cilla

    You had me at hemorrhage pink. Actually, I have really gigantic, manholes on my nose unless I use proactiv. It’s the best I’ve found so far.

  • FoodStoriesBlog

    Great Job!

  • StephHC

    I think I am going to need an explosion to get rid of my blackheads. Thanks for giving me the heads up so I didn’t try yet another home remedy!

  • http://pinterest.com/ioffendreason IoffendReason

    Baking soda is actually a well-known remedy for using as a cleanser. But you’re supposed to use the tiniest bit… and not with milk.

  • ME fashionblog

    You are amazingly funny!!! Love reading your blog!!!Your fan,Eve!

  • http://thissillygirlslife.com/ ThisSillyGirlsLife

    LOL, no surprise with this one.

  • KatieNielsen

    I have this AMAZING thing to remove blackheads…it’s called a pore strip. I know its not as creative as the Pinterest methods and it hurts to rip that bitch off but it works, and part of me lives for the rip anyway. I’m a sadistic fuck

    • kenken0860

      KatieNielsen you can make your own pore strip at home with unflavored gelatin and milk make into a past and heat in microwave 10 sec. Put on nose wait till dry pill off. You can see a video on YouTube It works and its cheap. * don’t use flavor or colored jello.

    • kenken0860

      KatieNielsen you can make your own pore strip at home with unflavored gelatin and milk make into a past and heat in microwave 10 sec. Put on nose wait till dry pill off. You can see a video on YouTube It works and its cheap. * don’t use flavor or colored jello.

  • Jesi_Lou

    HA HA HA HA Priceless. I will tell you that beer on the hair makes your hair amazingly soft and shiney. I felt the same way about doing anything but drinking it… so I only know that because I went to a rugby fest that guarantees you’ll have bathed (several times) in cheap beer by lots of drunks who think it’s funnier to throw their beer than drink it. So crack open a (cheap) cold one. Beware, it burns. But what beauty product doesn’t these days?

    • EmpressFactual

      Probably WAY too late to big this to your attention but there is something wrong with your head if pouring beer on it burns. Might want to look into that…

  • Christine G

    And “lo, it was a fucking mess” can be your new blog tagline if you want to mix it up a bit ^_^ And, while exciting, you should probably stay away from any explosive combustibles…unless it’s an ingest-able form of alcohol…

  • GraveDancer40

    You know, you could maybe make your own pin about a new nail polish remover. As I am sick too death of scrubbing and scrubbing at my nails…

  • http://iheartsunnydays.blogspot.com.au iheartsunnydays

    Ha! You make me laugh. Thank you for testing all these myths – you do a great job.  I now know how to remove my nailpolish :)

  • kenken0860

    You can steam your face with hot almost boiling water in a bowl put a towel over your head and put your face above bowl. ( don’t put face In hot almost boiling water that would be bad) use can do it 5-15 min then pat face dry. Then you can see video on YouTube for home made pore strip it is unflavore gelitan 12 tsp and milk 12 tsp milk stir it up put in microwave for 10 seconds stir it up again should be warm but not to hot. Dont burn yourself by making it to hot. Wait for it to harden then cringe nose so a part of it comes up and pill it off.its amazing the splash your face with cold water. Steam and warm water open pores. Cold water closes them. Hope this helps some people I love it but like everything else it works better for some people then others.

    • kenken0860

      I meant to put then splash face with cold Water not the splash……….please try this and make a post if you like it so more people will know about it

  • JessicaSutterlict

    Does beer make ALL  your hair soft. (yes that hair!!)

    • dhang_t_chau

      JessicaSutterlict Do you have hard pubes or something? Shave it off or throw some conditioner on it and you’ll be fine

  • TobieGius

    This shit is funnier than looking at the peopleofwalmart.com website!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

  • becca_french

    Try baking soda and orange juice. Works probably in a similar way, but actually reduces pore size!

  • BelvaJo

    Use more baking soda. I’m telling you, this works. When I was about 13 I got poision ivy all over my entire body, even my face. My grandma mixed up some baking soda & milk (more baking soda than milk), & voila! Dried it right up AND made my acne go away significantly, including the blackheads. Been using it once a week ever since.

  • BelvaJo

    Might be important to say that I leave it on over night (it gets REALLY dry & hard) & then wipe it off with a wet rag in the morning. Makes your face a bit red at first but it goes away, especially if you then soak the rag in milk & lay it across your face.

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  • Not a creeper

    You are hilarious and seem like an awesome person…i am not a creeper