It’s been kind of a shitty week for me (the kind where you sort of want to hide in a closet and suck your thumb) because of a number of not-very-good reasons, but you people have made me laugh about a gajillion times with your comments on the blog, Facebook, etc., and I feel like it’s a shame for me to keep all that funny to myself.
Also? Stop being so funny! That’s my schtick.
No, but for real, you guys are the best.
So, I decided to implement a weekly comment round-up on the blog so that if you didn’t get a chance to read every single comment, you can see some of the ones that made me snort indelicately.
(I’m working on some more “reader appreciation” thingies, but they are Top Secret right now, shhhh. And, of course, I am always open to suggestions, so leave them in the comments or on Facebook or Twitter or wherever. I read all that shit, mayn.)
So, here’s some stuff from this week that was awesome.
And I know that you all first would like to know who won the celery rose greeting card. You probably haven’t slept a wink since Friday. I swear to you, this was a super, super tough decision and I wish I could send one to all of you, I really do. BUT I only have one. Womp womp. So the card goes to…
persephone767 I’d frame it and hang it in my bathroom, so that when I’m having horrible cramps, or maybe just a particularly tough time pooping, I can look at it and be reminded of all the crazy shit you’ve done in the name of pin-science. And it will make my day better just like that *snaps fingers*
Guys, you know how it is. Poop jokes FTW! Persephone767, email me your address! The card is yours!
Here are some other particularly amaze-balls comments from that post:
RinGilmore You should send it to my friend Melissa, she is the person who introduced me to your site and now you have me in your circle of cool people. So you should send the card to her and thank her for bringing me into your life and than go on and on about how cool and clever I am. yes. I think that will be a lovely idea, I think you should do it and ummm tit-sling shit screw you chik fil- a-holes go women’s rights I love wrapped bodies and eating crafts too… Okay that last part was totally trying to play on your weaknesses.
Am I that transparent? Ok, fine.
jojomace I think you should send it to me BECAUSE I have been on one date with a really nice guy, going out with him again tomorrow, and he still has refrained from sending pictures of his junk. Trust me, this is RARE in a single guy these days. Enjoy it? Absolutely! Want to see pictures of it on my phone? Notsomuch. Previously, I was so inundated with weenie picks that I began to use the ‘Edit’ feature on my cell, which allows me to add features and also put them into interesting settings, like a winter wonderland. It’s disturbing the amount of joy I got from adding a Frosty-type top hat and a scarf…Anyway, it would be to celebrate the absence of said weenie pics!
Dear men: That is fucking disgusting. Stop it. Admittedly, I haven’t been on the dating scene since like 2001, but if anyone had ever done that to me (even though they would have had to send a photograph via carrier pigeon to do it because picture texting did not exist back then), I would never have called them again… on my land-line telephone. Oh shut up.
Simple Mama Pick me! I’m the original blogger from Homemade Serenity! I shared this post on my facebook page and I promise I’ll give your menses card a place of honor in my studio. Best laugh I’ve had all week!
Thank you so much! I get a special thrill when the original blogger makes her way over here and actually likes what I’ve written!
Now, moving on to the bra post, sometimes I get a little sigh-y when someone leaves a comment on my post explaining the right way to do whatever it is that I fucked up. But not in this case:
caito Pfffft fuck that noise, yo! I have the answer to your underwire problems. SUPER GLUE. Yep, just super glue. I’ve glued the underwire fabric holder thingie shut on two bras and it’s been perfect ever since.
First of all, you said “fuck that noise,” so somehow I immediately know that you are not judging me. Thank you for that. Second of all, BRILLIANT! Where is my super glue?
The man-pleasing chicken post generated many comments, but more on why I shouldn’t cook chicken to 180 degrees than why you shouldn’t name a thing “man-pleasing” anything unless it’s a condom (and even those are ribbed for her pleasure). But I digress. (That chicken was not done, people. I stand by my cooking method.)
Anyway, at least some of you had something constructive to say:
PiperAlexander Boners. You’re giving me boners.
I love that when someone gets their panties all in a twist about, say, making fun of a silly line from a poem, you all jump to my defense. The Pintestes are the best, yo. Also, you are hella smarter than me.
mackiecarp If that’s the case, then nobody should criticize anything ever. “Art” is a broad and overly-encompassing term, and to end any kind of humorous interpretations of it would mean the end of satire (i.e., no Candide, which I’m fairly certain 99% of the literati would hate you for). Sometimes, the humorous perspective yields more interesting results than the original piece. In the instance of this poem, I think the thing itself is actually fairly good as far as trite inspirational poetry goes, but I think that this post is a lot more enjoyable.
Also, you get me, you really, really get me.
Christine G the shore was obviously asking for it, just look at how it’s dressed…and anyway, those weren’t legitimate waves, so it’s cool…
In conclusion, you people are the bomb and I love you. Keep commenting because you make my day every day, and I’m not kidding about that.