Eyes in the Bushes

We’ve had guests over recently, so if there’s one piece of craft-ready material I have an overabundance of, it’s empty toilet paper rolls. (Everybody poops. And apparently they all wait until they come to my house.)

Luckily, I have just the craft for such an over-abundance:

The caption of this popular pin says to cut eyes in toilet paper rolls and stick glow sticks in them, then nestle them in the bushes.

Surprise surprise, the actual blog post gives different instructions (seriously, where do these captions come from?), and those instructions involve colored cellophane, electrical tape, and Christmas lights. Fuck that shit. I am lazy.

In this case, that means I’m going with the caption. (Have you noticed that when the caption differs from the actual source, the caption is usually much, much easier? Maybe it’s because most people are like me: lazy shitbags.)

This project comes in the nick of time, because the pumpkins I carved last week got moldy and fly-ridden in the warm humidity of our pre-hurricane weather. I couldn’t stand the smell anymore and had to throw them away. I was even going to bring them to a Halloween party this weekend, but was not willing to have fruit flies in my car for forever in order to do it.

My dear husband (Mr. Spock to you) contributed alternative decorations for that party, though, so don’t worry.

Anyway, ahem, I was completely out of creepy glowing things for my front porch.

So I made eyeballs out of toilet paper rolls.

Walla. Glowy things.

Of course, if you use glow sticks and no electrical tape, your results may vary… mine ended up looking a little like robots with energy glowing out the sides of their heads. But close enough.

My crafting ability is scary. Muhahahaha.