So, here’s what was going on at my house yesterday…
I know, I should really just have packed up my laptop and got the fuck out, but I had to do this pin test for you guys. And I am just that dedicated. So while a fleet of dudes with ladders banged my house (poor house), I mixed up concoctions of chemicals in my kitchen.
Because I decided to try facial chemical peels. Yes, plural peels. (YOLO LOL.)
There are two peels to try here: an AHA peel and a BHA peel. You can read the flimsy scientifical talk over on the original post, but I don’t think it makes that much difference.
A little background: I try not to be entirely stupid about the pins I test, guys. This is not Jackass for Pinterest. I don’t want to die, or break any bones, or get my lady-parts smashed by flying debris.
So I read the instructions before I started to make sure that there was little actual chance of my face falling off or scabbing over entirely. I felt pretty safe, given that the “strongest” ingredient in any of this was a crushed up aspirin. Give me some credit. I’m not going to put pure bleach on my face or anything.
So I began with the AHA peel. This one involves yogurt and sugar. In my defense, the post didn’t say what kind of yogurt or whether it had to be fresh.
I decided not to eat the extra expired non-fat lemon yogurt for my breakfast. But I was tempted.
The post also said to mix the yogurt and sugar into a “granulated paste,” but gave no measurements, so I started with maybe a tablespoon of yogurt and then added sugar. Like 5 tablespoons of sugar later, it was still not a granulated paste, so I gave up and just decided to go with it.
Houston, we have drippage.
Still, I managed to leave it on for the prescribed ten minutes, and then I rinsed it off with cold water.
Here’s the Before And After.
And, no, I am not really sure why I continue to do weird things to my face for non-results like this.
Disappointed in the magic of yogurt and sugar, I moved on to the BHA chemical peel, which seemed like it might make more of a difference. After all, this one involved something that actually might be considered a chemical.
It also involved me smooshing up an aspirin in my kitchen in full view of the people pressure-washing my house. So I’m pretty sure I’m going to get a visit soon from the police to make sure I’m not running a meth lab up in here or something.
“No, Officer, I was just smooshing up an aspirin to put on my face. No, seriously. It’s my job. Like, my full-time job. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
Anyway, then you just have to sprinkle lemon juice on it and make another paste. Again, no measurements given. I have no idea how much lemon I used.
This one also involves a baking soda and water “neutralizer” for use to get the acid off your face. And no measurements, again. So I guessed.
This one was a little more fun to apply, and it got nice and crusty before the ten minutes were up, so I felt like it might actually be doing something.
And the baking soda neutralizer was fun. Here’s another amazing Before And After.
Oh the difference! I mean, I look like a troll in the Before and a total babe in the After, right?
Yeah, ok. I couldn’t see any difference either.
On the plus side, my face did not break out, turn red, or otherwise suffer from doing two “chemical peels” in a row. So, you know, if you’ve got some expired yogurt or a smooshed aspirin around, and a spare ten minutes of your life that you don’t really care if you get back, try it. You won’t die.