Boxwood Wreath

0 Posted by - December 7, 2012 - Christmas & Holiday, DIY & Crafts, Home Decor

My name is Sonja Foust and I am a procrastinator. I didn’t want to do this pin. I was very, very afraid that even in its simplicity, I would somehow cock it up beyond recognition and I would have finally hit the bottom of this craft handicap I seem to have been born with.

So I did everything else I had to do today besides test this pin. And then played on the Internet.

But I have a blog, and I must carry on. It’s boxwood wreath day.

I was hoping my significant other would call while I was completing step 1 so that I could answer the inevitable, “Whatcha doin’?” question with, “Oh, just trimming the hedges.”

Alas, he did not.

I had plans to do this the right way at the kitchen table and everything with a hot glue gun like the post says to, but there were some questionable elements on some of the trimmings that made me think this wreath’s home should continue to be outside. I reasoned that I would just start stuffing branches and if it looked like it needed some hot glue, I’d plug that puppy in on the porch and go to town.

As I was stuffing, I recalled that I’d had painters painting my house and trim a few weeks ago, and some of the branches were decorated with something highly resembling trim paint. If that happens to you, you can toss those branches back out in the yard. (I’m sure trim paint is biodegradable.)

Putting this thing together was kind of like doing a jigsaw puzzle, only way easier and a lot more tree-huggery. It actually went really fast, too. And was fun.

And when it was done, it looked pretty goddamn decent, if I do say so myself.

I was so beside myself with crafter joy that I decided I was going to hang that shit on my white picket fence, because that’s what a crafter would do. I hunted around in the garage until I found some picture hanging wire and marched my happy white ass over to the garden gate.

It took two tries to get it centered properly, but I think I win the prize for cutest fence ever.

Of course, then you have to ignore the dumpsters, the haphazard garden hose, the broken bird bath, and the fact that we haven’t raked and there’s a patio umbrella in the planter.

I am choosing to assume that this will remain green for longer than a day, although I have my doubts. I’ll check in when it turns all brown and I’m too lazy to take it off my fence and it starts to look like the family who used to live here abandoned everything for the zombie apocalypse, or the end of the Mayan calendar or whatever.

For now, though, I’m just going to bask in the fact that I crafted some shit, motherfuckers.

24 Comments

  • TrystanTerrell December 7, 2012 - 4:23 pm Reply

    “trimming the hedges”… hehehe

  • lizziedee December 7, 2012 - 4:33 pm Reply

    Super cute! But I think you should add a bow or something. And I too laughed at “trimming the hedges”. :)

  • Chickenbutt23 December 7, 2012 - 4:38 pm Reply

    Good idea on keeping that thing outside. I don’t call boxwoods “piss bushes” for nothing. (Seriously… they smell like cat piss).

  • Truffles8761 December 7, 2012 - 4:38 pm Reply

    I’m so filled with pride for your craft accomplishment that I may have shed a tear.  It was either that or post nasal drip.  I can’t be sure.  I will toast your triumph with a cocktail.  To be fair, I would have toasted your failure with a cocktail as well, but this is even better.

  • Ethne Hedren Denham December 7, 2012 - 4:48 pm Reply

    I think you  need to get a Bowdabra and whip up a wire bow and slap it on your wreath.  That would be glorious.  And maybe slap some on your hose and umbrella and broken birdbath to distract the zombies.

    • JoAnnaMarieWaddoups December 9, 2012 - 11:39 pm Reply

      Ethne Hedren Denham just put a bow on it..

  • KasieStrickland December 7, 2012 - 5:03 pm Reply

    Mazel Tov.

  • SarahStalcup December 7, 2012 - 6:48 pm Reply

    HELLS YEAH!

  • JessicaRWebb December 7, 2012 - 9:03 pm Reply

    Win.

  • loislolane December 7, 2012 - 10:03 pm Reply

    Way to go!!  This is a proud moment for craft failures everywhere!

  • ThisSillyGirlsLife December 7, 2012 - 10:48 pm Reply
  • thepinjunkie December 8, 2012 - 9:44 am Reply

    It looks great!

  • Valleygurlie916 December 8, 2012 - 11:49 am Reply

    YaY! That’s very nice.

  • EmileeKingsley December 8, 2012 - 6:24 pm Reply

    One of the laziest things I’ve ever done was adopt two dwarf goats so that they could eat all the weeds that fall off the trees.

  • Pinteste Round-up: Education | Pintester December 11, 2012 - 10:43 am Reply

    […] Day, here are some educational comments from the Pintestes: Chickenbutt23 Good idea on keeping that thing outside. I don’t call boxwoods “piss bushes” for nothing. (Seriously… they […]

  • Christine G December 11, 2012 - 11:30 am Reply

    Excellent wreath! Not gluing that plant shit in there will mean you can use the twiggy base again by just pulling all the crumbly brown bits off later – you are now crafty and economical ^_^

  • lavfishey December 11, 2012 - 12:50 pm Reply

    awesome!!!!

  • Sometimes I Get Stuff Right | Sonja Foust December 13, 2012 - 7:02 am Reply

    […] made a boxwood wreath that doesn’t suck. But I haven’t looked at it since I put it up and there is at least a 50% chance that […]

  • dominoefffect December 14, 2012 - 2:00 am Reply

    So, follow-up? did it stay green?

    • Pintester December 15, 2012 - 1:10 pm Reply

      dominoefffect As of now, it’s still green!

  • Shannon Dilger January 3, 2013 - 11:13 pm Reply

    This looks awesome! great job

  • Winter Weather | Pintester January 25, 2013 - 1:35 pm Reply

    […] boxwood wreath that’s pretty much brown […]

  • Bigrockpaperco June 17, 2013 - 11:22 pm Reply

    You crafted the HELL outta that fence! Good stuff! Very spiffy… Even if its probably brown

  • tiffany June 19, 2013 - 9:44 pm Reply

    I have to say as I was reading this a laughed pretty much the whole time! I think you did a damn good job. Thinking of maybe attempting this one myself.!

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