I hurt my back the other day, setting down a bowl of tuna fish. If you’ve never done this before, I will tell you, it hurts like a bitch, and you also don’t get the pleasure of having a badass story to tell when someone asks you why you are walking all hunched over, so there’s nothing good about it. I don’t mind injuries (especially gross-looking ones) as long as there is a cool story to go with them, like, “I dropped a glass and caught it on the bounce… after it shattered on the counter-top,” or, “Oh, that big gnarly bruise? I got it at pole dancing class.” (Both of these are true stories from my past.) Setting down a bowl of tuna fish? Not awesome.
Anyway, I’ve been self-medicating with Advil and whatever liquor I can manage to find, so last night I thought I’d give a new cocktail a try, the sweet standard.
This one’s super easy: It’s just honey and vodka, shaken together and then poured into a highball glass. Simple.
So I gathered my tools…
And, yes, that is the most giant bottle of vodka you will ever see, because my significant other drinks vodka martinis all the time. I don’t really like vodka, especially.
Anyway, I poured some honey, ice, and vodka into the shaker, and shook fairly gently so as not to aggravate my injured back. (Although that would be a better story: “I threw my back out while shaking the hell out of a vodka cocktail.” Much better than the tuna thing.)
Then I poured it all into a highball glass, which looked not like the picture at all. And I soon figured out why.
The honey had solidified into a chilled mass of snot, sticking to the side of the shaker (and the lid, and anything else it touched while being shaken).
I figured maybe some of it managed to get shaken into the drink, so I tried it.
It was pretty much iced vodka, and it was nasty.
So, in case you were thinking of trying this one, probably don’t.