Bacon Hearts

0 Posted by - February 14, 2013 - Food & Drink, Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day, Pintestes. I hope you know that you are all the loves of my Internet heart. If I could send you all a Valentine, I would… Ok, I probably wouldn’t, because I’m a lazyass… but I would think about it and plan on it and then feel guilty for not doing it, so there’s that.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d make something today that is better than chocolate. Better than chocolate? Yes. There are only two things in the world better than chocolate, and one of them is bacon.

Image from The Paper Mama

Image from The Paper Mama

Yes, you are looking at bacon Valentines. This is a tradition I think I could get behind.

I bought a package of bacon and brought it home with me, then attempted to lay it out in heart-shapes. Turns out, though, that I bought some cheap-ass flimsy bacon and it didn’t quite sit right.

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My hopes of this turning out in any way adorable kind of went out the window at this point. I mean, these kind of look more like anatomical hearts than Valentine hearts.

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Nevertheless, into the oven it went.

One of the great discoveries of my adult life is that you can bake bacon, by the way. I never ever fry bacon because I’m scared of the popping grease. Mostly, I just stand back and scream obscenities, and occasionally poke it with a fork when I try to fry it. It doesn’t end well. So baking bacon is like the awesomest idea ever.

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See? You just take the pan out of the oven and voila! No popping grease all over yourself and the kitchen. Just delicious crispy bacon… that sort of-ish resembles heart-shapes, maybe.

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But the important thing is that they were damn delicious. Husband and I totally stuffed ourselves silly with delicious bacon. Heart-shaped or not, I think that still means it’s a win.

bacon

47 Comments

  • maggie boggs February 14, 2013 - 12:19 pm Reply

    I almost did this for my husband because he’s a bacon addict, but I was afraid they wouldn’t really look like hearts. I did do the bacon roses last year from Pinterest and they turned out surprisingly amazing!!

  • Miranda Long February 14, 2013 - 12:20 pm Reply

    Thank god I am not the only one who tried this and could not make the slabs of tasty meat into hearts. To be honest even as a fail it was a win. Cause who doesn’t love bacon!!!

  • ajt4 February 14, 2013 - 12:20 pm Reply

    Everything is better with bacon!

  • cakegirl.73 February 14, 2013 - 12:55 pm Reply

    Ok..flame away..but I hate bacon..I know, I know…not in ‘Murica…blah..sorry…

    • EmmaBeEmma February 14, 2013 - 1:52 pm Reply

      Bacon and peanut butter define us as Americans. Shame on you. SHAME I SAY!

  • emjay February 14, 2013 - 1:14 pm Reply

    What is other thing that is better than chocolate?…

    • grace_uga February 14, 2013 - 1:30 pm Reply

      I would guess sex.

  • Jennyk February 14, 2013 - 1:36 pm Reply

    Yours look better! The other ones look burnt.

  • Anna February 14, 2013 - 2:16 pm Reply

    Next time you make these spread some peanut butter on them after baking, freeze that shit, then cover it in chocolate. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN

    • Rosanne February 14, 2013 - 3:46 pm Reply

      Bacon is always a win. I was going to suggest you cover that shit in some chocolate, to make it more Valentines Day festive… but it looks like I’m a little late to that party!

  • Sarah February 14, 2013 - 2:20 pm Reply

    if you cover your cookie sheet in a SINGLE piece of aluminum foil (making sure to go over the little side walls) you can let it cool while you gorge yourself on delicious bacon and just gather up the foil with the bacon grease inside and have a still clean cookie sheet. Cuz i hate degreasing anything. including bakeware.

    • Crystal Kelly Yzaguirre February 14, 2013 - 2:58 pm Reply

      I totally do that!

    • Craig Thom February 14, 2013 - 8:05 pm Reply

      That’s after you pour off the perfectly-rendered bacon fat into something while it is still hot. The bacon fat doesn’t get too hot this way, and there are no burned bits in it.

      You can then use the bacon fat in biscuits or anywhere else.

  • RB Austin February 14, 2013 - 3:13 pm Reply

    I never understood the gaga-ness of bacon. Who chose bacon? Why couldn’t they have chosen a chocolatey dessert instead?

    • Rosanne February 14, 2013 - 3:51 pm Reply

      My man would definitely take bacon over chocolate any day, hands down.

      • RB Austin February 15, 2013 - 11:15 am Reply

        Yes, most men probably would. But would women? :)

    • Guest February 14, 2013 - 11:56 pm Reply

      It’s salty crunchy and goes with literally everything breakfast lunch dinner dessert salad burgers chocolate and by itself what’s not to love ??:)

      • RB Austin February 15, 2013 - 11:15 am Reply

        Bacon and chocolate?!? *shudders* ;)

  • ChickieD February 14, 2013 - 4:16 pm Reply

    Happy VD Day!!! (That’s what my college roommate and I called it, due to total lack of the menz at the appropriate day).

    A cool note on the baking of bacon: I discovered that if you make yourself some muffins and pop them in the oven to cook around the same time as the bacon, you end up with the best way in the world of make a tasty weekend breakfast. Just scramble yourself some eggs and there you go – yummy, easy breakfast.

    And yes, I did try the pin on baking the eggs in muffin cups and – do not recommend it even though it does sound promising to throw the entire breakfast into the oven.

  • Kelly724 February 14, 2013 - 4:45 pm Reply

    Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked up a pin just for you. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  • V Scott February 14, 2013 - 6:03 pm Reply

    If they are still bacon flavored, you’re good.

  • Katherine Horejsi February 14, 2013 - 7:42 pm Reply

    Ok, I’m a foreigner who (for the most part) loves America and Americans so please don’t get all hatey on me…but…what thefuck is it with you lot and bacon?? Roses…hearts…that shit’s packed with salt and nitrites…and is probably wrecking your real heart!!!

    • Groovinchikin February 14, 2013 - 8:51 pm Reply

      Didn’t you hear? Salt and Nitrates taste like the briny sweat beading off of the brow of god himself! Or maybe that’s just me…MMmmmm Bacon.

  • Truffles8761 February 14, 2013 - 8:03 pm Reply

    Mmmmmmm, bacon. I can’t even think of witty repartee with pictures of bacon on the page.

  • Amanda February 14, 2013 - 8:22 pm Reply

    Do you always address your fans as “Pintestes” or is this just the first time I have actually noticed it? I found it funny regardless, but just wondering.

  • Gagne February 14, 2013 - 8:45 pm Reply

    Amirite!!

  • Gagne February 14, 2013 - 8:48 pm Reply

    Sorry, total fail! Round 2- Amirite!lol

  • LadyRita February 14, 2013 - 11:44 pm Reply

    All I can think about is that cartoon dog begging for bacon strips. IT’S BACON!!

  • Athena Holter-Mehren February 15, 2013 - 5:29 am Reply

    Bacon is bacon is bacon is bacon is fucking amazing.

  • libraryofbird February 15, 2013 - 10:50 am Reply

    Mmmm bacon

  • sluggo_ut February 15, 2013 - 11:52 am Reply

    Bacon + Nutella = OMFG

  • Angie Simonsen February 15, 2013 - 11:55 am Reply

    Baking bacon IS awesome!!!
    The only thing I do different is put the slices on a cookie cooling rack (they’ve never seen the underside of a cookie-I should just call them bacon cooking racks) and then place that on the cookie sheet (again, a mis-named item in my house).
    This way, I can save all of that beautiful grease for when I need to cook up some onions or whatever. Olive oil to cook veggies in? Not a chance. Bacon grease all the way for the win!!!

  • Jasi Lee February 15, 2013 - 1:19 pm Reply

    next time sprinkle brown sugar and cayenne pepper on before you bake. like “red hots” candy bacon. there’s that.

  • D&DsMummy February 15, 2013 - 5:40 pm Reply

    I made these last night, but had to use toothpicks to keep them in the heart shape.
    It was a bitch keeping them in the heart shape as I pulled out the burnt toothpick after.

  • Bonnie Brewer February 15, 2013 - 5:40 pm Reply

    Your bacon looks yummier that the insporation

  • Bonnie Brewer February 15, 2013 - 5:41 pm Reply

    Your bacon looks yummier than the inspiration pin. Usually it’s the other way around!

  • Rachel B February 15, 2013 - 6:23 pm Reply

    your bacon looks tastier than the original pin though!

  • Vickie Brannon February 16, 2013 - 9:09 am Reply

    Does anyone else think that the uncooked not-perfectly-heart-shaped ones look like folded up tighty whities?

  • Isobel_A February 18, 2013 - 5:09 am Reply

    Oh bacon. I’m quite an English sort of English person, but there’s one thing America does best – I’ll take your streaky crispy bacon over British back bacon any day. Now I feel unpatriotic and am going to have to put up bunting and sing ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ to make myself feel better…

  • bkjone01 February 18, 2013 - 3:42 pm Reply

    OMG… where’s the miracle whip????

  • Lori February 19, 2013 - 5:23 am Reply

    You are a scream sister! I sooo wanna be you when I grow up!

  • JC February 22, 2013 - 4:42 pm Reply

    What temp and stuff did you cook it at? I could care less about the (hysterical post) heart shapes. I use that same stone bar pan (pampered chef?) and It always undercooks, then I burn it.

  • Rainy Daisy February 24, 2013 - 3:00 pm Reply

    If you really loved us, you’d made chocolate-dipped bacon. Look it up – it’s a thing! I think. Maybe I dreamed it.

  • Kristine February 25, 2013 - 2:33 pm Reply

    I’m glad the baking of bacon works for you, but you could also invest in a splatter screen to fry bacon and a shitton of other things without getting splattery little burns all over your forearms (which I always do until I remember about the splatter screen in the cabinet…)

  • Cheryl Lynn March 1, 2013 - 10:25 am Reply

    …..EXERCISE…..
    EX…..ER……CISE
    EX…..AR……CISE
    EGGS..ARE..SIDES
    …..FOR BACON…..
    BACON.

    • Cheryl Lynn March 1, 2013 - 10:26 am Reply

      Saw this and thought it was quite apropos.

  • Jessica811 March 5, 2013 - 8:19 pm Reply

    It worked really well for me! My boyfriend had a wonderful Valentine’s Day breakfast of that and the heart shaped cinnamon rolls :)

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