Mississippi Roast

1 Posted by - March 8, 2013 - Food & Drink

I love my crock pot (or slow-cooker, for those of you who don’t know what a crock pot is). This is mostly because I am nearly incapable of cooking a decent dinner by conventional methods. Honestly, my crock pot success rate is only slightly over 50% or so, but it seems better because at least this way I get to smell it cooking all day.

The best sorts of crock pot recipes, of course, are the ones that require little to no effort. I mean no chopping of vegetables, browning of meat, or mixing things before you put it all together. I want to open packages and throw it in the crock pot. That’s it. So this Mississippi Roast recipe is pretty much perfect.

You just gather your ingredients and throw that shit in your crock pot. Done.

You need: a packet of ranch dressing mix, a packet of au jus mix, a stick of butter, and some pepperoncini peppers.

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Oh, and a giant slab of MEAT. (Sorry vegetarians. This post is not for you. In fact, this entire blog is sort of packed full of meat. Just like yer mom. Ha.)

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Add ranch mix:

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Add au jus mix:

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And, really, at this point, I understand it looks like you just poured crack and dirt on your lovely roast, but don’t panic…

Add STICK OF BUTTER:

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Add pepperoncini peppers:

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I admit to having very little faith in this. Surely you cannot throw these things in a crock pot for eight hours and still love yourself when you open the lid at the end of the day. And, guys, it did not look good at the end of the day.

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But, the original blog post didn’t have a picture of the finished product, so I just figured what they hey, and I dished some up.

Remember how there was a stick of butter in there, and no other liquid? Yeah, that’s why the gravy looks like oily cat vomit. Not appetizing at all.

But I have to tell you, it was pretty fucking delicious. The peppers added a lovely tanginess to it, and hell, butter is always delicious. So I’ll probably be making this again, although maybe not for company, because it’ll be hard to explain about the butter gravy…

roast

38 Comments

  • MP March 8, 2013 - 2:30 pm Reply

    After cooking, I put the sauce in a tall container and let it separate. Then spoon off most of the oil/butter/grease. (You could also use one of those gravy strainer things with the spout from the bottom, but I don’t have one…) It leaves just the AMAZING tasting gravy without the yuck. I’ve also used a half a stick of butter and it still works great.

  • Rosanne March 8, 2013 - 2:36 pm Reply

    I’m not surprised it’s delicious. How can something that cooks in an entire stick of butter all day not taste good? mmm… I can feel my arteries hardening just thinking about it.

  • ilikebeerandbabies.com March 8, 2013 - 2:39 pm Reply

    I make this but use the juice form the pepperoncinis instead of butter.

    • Kel March 8, 2013 - 3:01 pm Reply

      Me Too!!!

  • ajt4 March 8, 2013 - 2:46 pm Reply

    Oily cat vomit for everyone!

  • D&DsMummy March 8, 2013 - 2:49 pm Reply

    Kudos on inserting a mom joke in the directions.
    Ha ha. Inserting…

  • Sarah D March 8, 2013 - 3:19 pm Reply

    I’ve got an even easier one for you: 1 roast, 1 jar of pepperocinis WITH juice. Dump all in crock pot, cook low 8 hours. Shred meat and eat on a bun.

    • disqus_zlRe7g2g5T March 8, 2013 - 3:44 pm Reply

      yeaaaah shred it

    • Amy Dyer March 8, 2013 - 3:54 pm Reply

      Me too! We use sliced pepperoncinis, not whole, and dump them in with the juice. We also add a packet of italian seasoning (usually over with the dry soup mixes). I like to eat it on a bun or roll with sliced provolone cheese!

      • AmiL March 9, 2013 - 10:32 pm Reply

        This is how we roll in our house. We call it “Italian beef”. Which could open up a whole can of meat stuffed mom jokes now that I think of it…..

      • bb’s mom March 12, 2013 - 1:33 pm Reply

        i love peperoncinis so i just might have to try this!!! — sounds yummy 🙂

  • Joy March 8, 2013 - 5:01 pm Reply

    looks, great and healthy to boot, I will add this to my crack pot Mondays rotation. and i did enjoy the mama joke. hehe

    • Bree March 8, 2013 - 7:19 pm Reply

      Are you kidding me? Are you for real saying that a slab of meat slowly infused with a stick of butter is healthy?

      Paula? Is that you? Hows your diabetes?

      • hrisc March 11, 2013 - 12:01 am Reply

        Real butter is actually quite healthful as long as you don’t have any dairy sensitivities. The food and diet industries have been lying to us for a looong time. In regards to the diabeetus, carbs and sugar have SO MUCH more to do with negatively affecting diabetics than fat. Definitely add some more veggies in the dish or at least on the side, and then you’ll be set.

  • Barter Julie March 8, 2013 - 5:05 pm Reply

    Throw in a little argo (corn starch) will make cat vomit look better and stick together leaving no new flavor! Keep mom happy!

  • Jenny Wagner March 8, 2013 - 5:52 pm Reply

    LMAO @ just like your mom

  • sanity_escape March 8, 2013 - 6:21 pm Reply

    my family loves that roast , despite the buttery mess (a couple of potatoes thrown in a couple of hours before it’s done soaks it up pretty well) we have it every couple of weeks.

  • Truffles8761 March 8, 2013 - 6:28 pm Reply

    “…this entire blog is sort of packed full of meat. Just like yer mom. Ha” She shoots, she scores!!!! Nice one. I’ll be stealing it. While I’ll skip the oily cat vomit (I’m on a vomit free diet) the rest of it looked pretty good.

  • Katherine Horejsi March 8, 2013 - 6:58 pm Reply

    I haven’t seen packets of “au jus” in the supermarkets over here is so I don’t know what it is…can I substitute “oh jiz” ?

  • EmmaBeEmma March 8, 2013 - 9:28 pm Reply

    I think when I make this for my crock pot night, I’ll use actual crack instead of the ranch mix, as suggested. Since butter = crack, imagine butter + crack. I’ll be the hit of the neighborhood dinner party. Googling where to buy crack now.

  • LVcash March 9, 2013 - 2:26 am Reply

    Thank you! After the day I had, this was just what I needed – “packed full of meat. Just like yer mom. Ha!”.

  • Renlish March 9, 2013 - 6:56 am Reply

    “au jus” ? As in… “au, jus’ chuck in whatever you can find” mix? They packet that now? I do that all the time. I could have been making money from my spice concoctions. I could have been famous. I COULDDA BEEN SOMEBODY! (Also… an entire stick of butter? Ugh. That’d be the sound of my arteries hardening the hell up.)

  • Kelly724 March 9, 2013 - 4:22 pm Reply

    And like a restaurant, yo mama will only accept the meat delivery in the rear.

  • Meghan March 9, 2013 - 5:22 pm Reply

    I’ll have to give this a go.

  • Mark N Courtney Grauvogl March 9, 2013 - 7:27 pm Reply

    We very dubiously tried this as well, and were VERY pleasantly surprised wiith the results….so you’re not alone…

  • Korie Yarborough March 11, 2013 - 11:30 am Reply

    How long and at what temp on the crockpot? Looks good!

    • Pintester March 12, 2013 - 1:05 pm Reply

      I did eight hours. My crockpot only has one heat setting, so I did it on that one. 😉

  • bb’s mom March 12, 2013 - 1:31 pm Reply

    I made this also … and it was DELICIOUS!! a little on the salty side for some family members but it was so moist:) this is a winner in my book!

  • Lovelydiscourse March 12, 2013 - 11:08 pm Reply

    The packet of ranch dressing is the icky part to me. I can’t reconcile this flavor profile in my head. I just can’t.

  • Kerensa March 13, 2013 - 1:39 pm Reply

    I have made this, family loves it. I only used half a stick of butter. A whole stick is excessive to me. I put the sauce in the ‘fridge and there is a half inch layer of solid lard/butter on top. Great for preserving, but not so for the arteries.

  • Mississippi Roast | Beautiful Release April 5, 2013 - 2:36 pm Reply

    […] Source: pintester.com/2013/03/mississippi-roast/ […]

  • Tailynn Toddley April 9, 2013 - 11:11 am Reply

    If your having trouble with a crockpot 50/50, you should try a stackable steamer instead. I have about the same rate with a crockpot, but a steamer is much safer.

  • Christy Purinton April 11, 2013 - 4:45 pm Reply

    im surprised you didn’t rename it a “cock” pot hahahah

  • Ms BeHaven April 30, 2013 - 12:11 am Reply

    You are hilarious, I swear we are realted!

  • InCaribou June 14, 2013 - 10:44 am Reply

    Stop. You’re killing me. This post cracks me up.

  • Brenna Terranova September 16, 2013 - 5:23 pm Reply

    Jeezo peezmus. This looks scrumptious.

  • molon labe October 29, 2014 - 5:37 am Reply

    Throw that shit in. you’re speakin my language.

  • Sheryl March 18, 2015 - 11:05 am Reply

    What a shame you used such a filthy mouth.

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