Mississippi Roast

0 Posted by - March 8, 2013 - Food & Drink

I love my crock pot (or slow-cooker, for those of you who don’t know what a crock pot is). This is mostly because I am nearly incapable of cooking a decent dinner by conventional methods. Honestly, my crock pot success rate is only slightly over 50% or so, but it seems better because at least this way I get to smell it cooking all day.

The best sorts of crock pot recipes, of course, are the ones that require little to no effort. I mean no chopping of vegetables, browning of meat, or mixing things before you put it all together. I want to open packages and throw it in the crock pot. That’s it. So this Mississippi Roast recipe is pretty much perfect.

You just gather your ingredients and throw that shit in your crock pot. Done.

You need: a packet of ranch dressing mix, a packet of au jus mix, a stick of butter, and some pepperoncini peppers.

IMG_0349

Oh, and a giant slab of MEAT. (Sorry vegetarians. This post is not for you. In fact, this entire blog is sort of packed full of meat. Just like yer mom. Ha.)

IMG_0348

Add ranch mix:

IMG_0350

Add au jus mix:

IMG_0351

And, really, at this point, I understand it looks like you just poured crack and dirt on your lovely roast, but don’t panic…

Add STICK OF BUTTER:

tc_paula_deen_butter_funny

IMG_0352

Add pepperoncini peppers:

IMG_0353

I admit to having very little faith in this. Surely you cannot throw these things in a crock pot for eight hours and still love yourself when you open the lid at the end of the day. And, guys, it did not look good at the end of the day.

IMG_0367

But, the original blog post didn’t have a picture of the finished product, so I just figured what they hey, and I dished some up.

Remember how there was a stick of butter in there, and no other liquid? Yeah, that’s why the gravy looks like oily cat vomit. Not appetizing at all.

But I have to tell you, it was pretty fucking delicious. The peppers added a lovely tanginess to it, and hell, butter is always delicious. So I’ll probably be making this again, although maybe not for company, because it’ll be hard to explain about the butter gravy…

roast

  • MP

    After cooking, I put the sauce in a tall container and let it separate. Then spoon off most of the oil/butter/grease. (You could also use one of those gravy strainer things with the spout from the bottom, but I don’t have one…) It leaves just the AMAZING tasting gravy without the yuck. I’ve also used a half a stick of butter and it still works great.

  • Rosanne

    I’m not surprised it’s delicious. How can something that cooks in an entire stick of butter all day not taste good? mmm… I can feel my arteries hardening just thinking about it.

  • ilikebeerandbabies.com

    I make this but use the juice form the pepperoncinis instead of butter.

    • Kel

      Me Too!!!

  • ajt4

    Oily cat vomit for everyone!

  • D&DsMummy

    Kudos on inserting a mom joke in the directions.
    Ha ha. Inserting…

  • Sarah D

    I’ve got an even easier one for you: 1 roast, 1 jar of pepperocinis WITH juice. Dump all in crock pot, cook low 8 hours. Shred meat and eat on a bun.

    • disqus_zlRe7g2g5T

      yeaaaah shred it

    • Amy Dyer

      Me too! We use sliced pepperoncinis, not whole, and dump them in with the juice. We also add a packet of italian seasoning (usually over with the dry soup mixes). I like to eat it on a bun or roll with sliced provolone cheese!

      • AmiL

        This is how we roll in our house. We call it “Italian beef”. Which could open up a whole can of meat stuffed mom jokes now that I think of it…..

      • bb’s mom

        i love peperoncinis so i just might have to try this!!! — sounds yummy :)

  • Joy

    looks, great and healthy to boot, I will add this to my crack pot Mondays rotation. and i did enjoy the mama joke. hehe

    • http://twitter.com/Mariolopezsucks Bree

      Are you kidding me? Are you for real saying that a slab of meat slowly infused with a stick of butter is healthy?

      Paula? Is that you? Hows your diabetes?

      • hrisc

        Real butter is actually quite healthful as long as you don’t have any dairy sensitivities. The food and diet industries have been lying to us for a looong time. In regards to the diabeetus, carbs and sugar have SO MUCH more to do with negatively affecting diabetics than fat. Definitely add some more veggies in the dish or at least on the side, and then you’ll be set.

  • http://www.facebook.com/julie.barter3 Barter Julie

    Throw in a little argo (corn starch) will make cat vomit look better and stick together leaving no new flavor! Keep mom happy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jenny.wagner.3705 Jenny Wagner

    LMAO @ just like your mom

  • sanity_escape

    my family loves that roast , despite the buttery mess (a couple of potatoes thrown in a couple of hours before it’s done soaks it up pretty well) we have it every couple of weeks.

  • Truffles8761

    “…this entire blog is sort of packed full of meat. Just like yer mom. Ha” She shoots, she scores!!!! Nice one. I’ll be stealing it. While I’ll skip the oily cat vomit (I’m on a vomit free diet) the rest of it looked pretty good.

  • http://www.facebook.com/katherine.horejsi.1 Katherine Horejsi

    I haven’t seen packets of “au jus” in the supermarkets over here is so I don’t know what it is…can I substitute “oh jiz” ?

  • EmmaBeEmma

    I think when I make this for my crock pot night, I’ll use actual crack instead of the ranch mix, as suggested. Since butter = crack, imagine butter + crack. I’ll be the hit of the neighborhood dinner party. Googling where to buy crack now.

  • LVcash

    Thank you! After the day I had, this was just what I needed – “packed full of meat. Just like yer mom. Ha!”.

  • http://twitter.com/renlish Renlish

    “au jus” ? As in… “au, jus’ chuck in whatever you can find” mix? They packet that now? I do that all the time. I could have been making money from my spice concoctions. I could have been famous. I COULDDA BEEN SOMEBODY! (Also… an entire stick of butter? Ugh. That’d be the sound of my arteries hardening the hell up.)

  • Kelly724

    And like a restaurant, yo mama will only accept the meat delivery in the rear.

  • http://twitter.com/mkw70 Meghan

    I’ll have to give this a go.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ogreletmama Mark N Courtney Grauvogl

    We very dubiously tried this as well, and were VERY pleasantly surprised wiith the results….so you’re not alone…

  • http://www.facebook.com/korie.yarborough Korie Yarborough

    How long and at what temp on the crockpot? Looks good!

    • http://pintester.com/ Pintester

      I did eight hours. My crockpot only has one heat setting, so I did it on that one. ;)

  • bb’s mom

    I made this also … and it was DELICIOUS!! a little on the salty side for some family members but it was so moist:) this is a winner in my book!

  • Lovelydiscourse

    The packet of ranch dressing is the icky part to me. I can’t reconcile this flavor profile in my head. I just can’t.

  • Kerensa

    I have made this, family loves it. I only used half a stick of butter. A whole stick is excessive to me. I put the sauce in the ‘fridge and there is a half inch layer of solid lard/butter on top. Great for preserving, but not so for the arteries.

  • Pingback: Mississippi Roast | Beautiful Release

  • Tailynn Toddley

    If your having trouble with a crockpot 50/50, you should try a stackable steamer instead. I have about the same rate with a crockpot, but a steamer is much safer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/christy.purinton Christy Purinton

    im surprised you didn’t rename it a “cock” pot hahahah

  • Ms BeHaven

    You are hilarious, I swear we are realted!

  • InCaribou

    Stop. You’re killing me. This post cracks me up.