Shamrock Cupcakes

0 Posted by - March 17, 2013 - Food & Drink, St. Patrick's Day

You guys, I know it’s St. Patrick’s day and I am supposed to be out pretending I am Irish and drinking green beer and Guinness until I am wailing Irish jigs and stumbling behind bushes to relieve myself in public, but I am too old for that shit.

So I made cupcakes instead.

At least they’re festive cupcakes. Because I attempted these shamrock cupcakes.

Image from easy-cake-decorating.com

Image from easy-cake-decorating.com

These are just regular old cupcakes except that you use marbles to turn the cupcake papers into a shamrock shape.

Of course, my first problem was finding marbles. They are surprisingly difficult to find at my usual errand-running locations (mostly the grocery store and the liquor store, if you want to know the truth), so I had to make a special trip to the craft store to find some. I did eventually meet with success.

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To raise my chances of completing this recipe, I began with a boxed cake mix. If you know me, you know that taking as much of the complication out of baking as possible is always a good thing in my case.

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And then, because I am a festive little fucker, I added green food coloring.

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I actually addedย a lot of food coloring, but there seemed to be an upper limit as to how green I could get the cake batter to be.

Then, as per the directions, I spooned the batter into a baggie to make a piping bag so as not to slop batter everywhere while trying to fill the shamrock-shaped cupcake liners.

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I still managed to make a giant mess of it, but I can’t imagine how bad it would have been if I’d tried it without the bag.

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I had really, really low expectations for these, you guys. Even normally, I am not great at turning out beautiful, uniformly-shaped cupcakes. So this seemed doomed to disaster.

And, it’s true, they were not beautiful…

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But they are certainly not the ugliest thing I have ever baked, by any stretch of the imagination. And sometimes, that’s good enough.

After I de-marbled them and reshaped them a little (which involved pinching extra bits off and eating them, so a winning proposition, really), they didn’t look half bad.

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And here’s where I truly admit how much confidence I had in these: I was so convinced that even the baking of these would result in catastrophe that I didn’t even bother to go buy anything with which to decorate them.

So I slapped some icing eyeballs on there and called it good.

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So, happy St. Patrick’s day, one and all. I leave you with an old Irish blessing that I just now made up:

May the wind always be at your back, and if you drink too much, may your green vomit at least be sort of amusing.

shamrock

P.S. Today is the last day to vote in the 2013 Weblog Awards! I am up for Most Humorous and Weblog of the Year, and I amย super excited about it. If you like this blog (and I assume you do, if you’ve read this far), would you please consider voting for me? Smoochies and thank yous!

58 Comments

  • Meghan March 17, 2013 - 6:21 pm Reply

    I think yours turned out great. You are way more ambitious than moi!

  • Jasi Lee March 17, 2013 - 6:35 pm Reply

    The shape is awesome and as usual, the adornment, phallic. Happy St.Patty’s, crazy girl.

  • irisheyes March 17, 2013 - 6:54 pm Reply

    i feel like an a-hole for saying this jasie lee – but there’s no such thing as st patty’s day, that’s just a horrible lazy americanism – it’s either st patrick’s day or paddy’s day. k-thanx-bai…!

    • Chelle Crew March 17, 2013 - 8:09 pm Reply

      Thanks for showing your douche-baggery. Cause you know there is no such thing as a hard working American. I’m also sure where ever you are from only speak in full words and perfect sentences.

      • irisheyes March 17, 2013 - 8:53 pm Reply

        i admitted to my a-holeness, so you’re more than welcome for the douche-baggery i threw in for free there. not sure how hard americans work has to do with the lazy abbreviation of a country’s national holiday though? if you ask any irish person who ‘st patty’ is they won’t know. cause he gosh darned just don’t exist, y’all.

        • Chelle Crew March 17, 2013 - 9:03 pm Reply

          “Lazy Americanism” not sure what your definition is of lazy, but here’s the definition in case you forgot, ” Unwilling to work or use energy; characterized by lack of effort or activity.” Pretty much summed up that Americans don’t work. Also ‘St. Paddy’s and ‘St. Patty’s’ have the same number of letters…who’s lazy again? Many people mistake the t sound for the d sound and vise versa.

          • irisheyes March 17, 2013 - 9:10 pm

            i’ll go with the *actual* definition of ‘americanism’ if that’s ok with you, which is a word or phrase originating in america. my definition of ‘lazy’ would be someone who engages in an argument without googling a few facts beforehand. you might take a hint there. LOL. oh sorry, LAUGH OUT LOUD ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • Chelle Crew March 17, 2013 - 9:15 pm

            I see no reason why someone from America wouldn’t take offense to that. Just to appease you here’s the Webster Definition to Americanism: : 1 a characteristic feature of American English especially as contrasted with British English
            2
            : attachment or allegiance to the traditions, interests, or ideals of the United States
            3
            a : a custom or trait peculiar to Americab : the political principles and practices essential to American culture
            I’m not sure how you can justify assuming all Americans are lazy. Boo hoo she said Patty’s instead of Paddy’s. Ugh.

          • irisheyes March 17, 2013 - 9:21 pm

            oh you poor deluded soul. i never said all americans are lazy. can you read? the use of the term ‘st patty’ as opposed to the actual name of the national holiday of ireland is lazy and most irish people take offence to the use of the americanism st patty. that’s my point. ugh.

          • Chelle Crew March 17, 2013 - 9:43 pm

            I can read just fine. For someone who can’t even use proper capitalization you are in no position to criticize whether someone is literate or not. But I digress, go back to your stereotyping…

          • irisheyes March 17, 2013 - 9:53 pm

            oh dear *lord* you are funny. one day you’ll come back and re-read this and hopefully a lightbulb will go off for you. hey maybe it’ll be on the 4th of july – happy indy day in advance!

          • Chelle Crew March 17, 2013 - 9:57 pm

            Well happy Indy day in advanced to you too. See isn’t better to be nice to people? ๐Ÿ™‚

          • irisheyes March 17, 2013 - 10:12 pm

            you know what? you’re absolutely right. who cares if we insult the national holiday of small country? let’s just do it with a smile! ๐Ÿ™‚

          • emily March 17, 2013 - 11:15 pm

            Irisheyes, you need to find yourself some new hobbies.

          • Jasi Lee March 17, 2013 - 11:33 pm

            i’ll say it again.. penis cupcakes. naughty baking ftw.

          • Von March 17, 2013 - 11:48 pm

            But what did you and CC think of the cupcakes? Good lord.

          • Chelle Crew March 18, 2013 - 5:29 am

            I LOVE CUPCAKES!! AND GREEN!! Green penis shaped cupcakes are the best thing in the whole wide world!

          • Jasi Lee March 17, 2013 - 11:31 pm

            ouch.. i thought we were besties. =(

          • Chelle Crew March 18, 2013 - 5:33 am

            LOL, Of course we are besties. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Jasi Lee March 17, 2013 - 11:31 pm

            thanks for coming to bat for me Chelle, but I actually am completeeeely lazy. and i exaggerate and slur my speech. but i still think that this should be about cupcakes.

          • Chelle Crew March 18, 2013 - 5:30 am

            LOL. Not a problem. People who chalk everything up to Americans being Lazy (I swear a purple elephant with a leprechaun riding on its back would be us lazy American’s fault), really annoy me. ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Guest March 21, 2013 - 12:32 pm Reply

          Whoa!!! Wait just a second there! So…you’re saying St. Patrick / St. Patty / St. Paddy doesn’t exist? Next you’re gonna be telling us there’s no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. I’m just not down with that kind of blasphemy.

      • disqus_LEtlKARKIr March 17, 2013 - 10:58 pm Reply

        Can I just settle this with information gained from actual Irish people? I took Irish Gaelic classes, and here’s the deal: Irish people say either “St. Patrick’s Day” or “St. Paddy’s day.” There are two reasons for using “Paddy”: Patty is the shortened form of Patrick, which is the anglicized version of Padraig, an Irish name from which Paddy comes from. Some Irish people take offense to “Patty” because it comes from “Patrick,” the anglicized name (those people are ultra-nationalistic and say St. Padraig’s day, or the Gaelic equivalent, and they are not the majority in Ireland). But, for most people, they take offense to “Patty” because in that country, “Patty” is ONLY ever used as a nickname for Patricia, which is a girl’s name. So, by saying “St. Patty,” you are calling one of Ireland’s most important historical and religious figures a girl. Basically, the confusion between “Paddy” and “Patty” comes from when Ireland that had the English language forced upon it, which resulted in some unexpected linguistic quirks that persist to this day. The end.

        • Jasi Lee March 17, 2013 - 11:29 pm Reply

          a handful of friends born and raised in ireland don’t celebrate ST.PADDY’S day at all, they say it’s rather unimportant there. I really don’t see what all this history has to do with penis shaped cupcakes.

          • disqus_LEtlKARKIr March 17, 2013 - 11:33 pm

            That is a very good point.

        • Chelle Crew March 18, 2013 - 5:31 am Reply

          Thank you for explaining that more in detail than it just being lazy Americans. I figured it had to do with linguistic changes, since T and D are commonly mistaken for one another.

        • susy.mortician March 18, 2013 - 2:44 pm Reply

          Somebody appears to be taking her patriotism a bit too far. “lazy Americanism” means that that particular Americanism is lazy (ie saying “Patty” or, for that matter “Paddy” instead of Patrick) it does not mean that Americans are lazy. It’s the same thing as saying “I’m making soup the lazy way, from a can, instead of from scratch.” It doesn’t mean, or imply laziness in other aspects of life. Get a grip.

    • Jasi Lee March 17, 2013 - 11:28 pm Reply

      well, since you spelled my name wrong let’s just call it even. p.s. pointing out other peoples mistakes doesn’t win you friends and influence. super even now. ; )

    • Toshia Robbins March 18, 2013 - 2:52 pm Reply

      If we are going to get all literal I feel compelled to point out that Saint Patrick was not even Irish, he was born in the British Isles and was captured and enslaved by the Irish at a young age. Therefore who’s to say what the correct abbreviated version of his name is or should be.

      • Toshia Robbins March 18, 2013 - 2:56 pm Reply

        PS being “offended” by the way someone abbreviates a name is just silly. There are far more offensive things in this world, childhood cancer, animal abusive, child abuse, abuse against women, just to name a few. If you really want something to be offended by maybe suggest you go to rockstarronan.com and read about a little boy who fought cancer.

  • Katherine March 17, 2013 - 7:52 pm Reply

    I feel like there’s a joke in here somewhere about green penises (penii?), especially once you put the frosting on.

  • Kendra March 17, 2013 - 7:52 pm Reply

    They kind of resemble some odd type of camouflage….

  • Chelle Crew March 17, 2013 - 8:10 pm Reply

    http://www.penispans.com/ Because when I clicked the link from Pinterest, I immediately thought of you.

  • EmmaBeEmma March 17, 2013 - 8:15 pm Reply

    I think this is a great go-to recipe if one wants cupcakes all to themselves. They looked like they had bites taken out of them before you took bites out of them. Win, win, win, win, win.

  • rfoust March 17, 2013 - 8:36 pm Reply

    I love cupcakes, but green cupcakes make me feel like I’m eating fungus. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Terrilynn Emberly March 17, 2013 - 9:02 pm Reply

    First thing I thought of when I seen these was shrek poop ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for always making me laugh!! P.S. – I just went and voted for you for the bloggies!! Good luck!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Cheryl Lynn March 17, 2013 - 10:30 pm Reply

    This could also be used for a festive treat celebrating 4/20 hehehe. Ahhh, the old hazy, munchie- filled memories of college at an arts school… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Ignite Visibility March 17, 2013 - 11:12 pm Reply

    happy st patties!!! boo yeah!

  • Katherine Horejsi March 18, 2013 - 4:46 am Reply

    Errrrmmmm…I really like these cupcakes and I don’t care what the holiday is called or abbreviated to. “On yer” Sonja…that’s an Australian abbreviation for “good on you”…a colloquial form of congratulation!

  • Carla Hurst-Chandler March 18, 2013 - 8:52 am Reply

    Just found your site. Via Pintrest, of course! Hilarious ๐Ÿ™‚ Loved the added frosting eye-balls by the way!

    • Gina March 18, 2013 - 11:32 am Reply

      I don’t think those are eye balls.

  • gnabeena281 March 18, 2013 - 12:48 pm Reply

    should have teamed this up with cocknails, 1. Because they look like deformed penii(penis in plural latin form) and 2. Because it was St Patricks day, and you are supposed to drink anyways.

    • Chelle Crew March 18, 2013 - 10:52 pm Reply

      Yes! Green nails, green beer, and green cupcakes! Perfect!

  • Kelly724 March 18, 2013 - 4:41 pm Reply

    I usually like to read the comments but not these because fighting about spheling is boring.

  • Chelsea March 18, 2013 - 7:14 pm Reply

    Well now I really want a cupcake. You are detrimental to my diet (I have NO willpower), but I love ya anyway ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Aurora March 18, 2013 - 11:58 pm Reply

    Yup…I thought that was a penis when I clicked on this…

  • Grace Moylan March 19, 2013 - 11:31 am Reply

    Nothing like eating bits of green phallic shaped cake on St. Patrick’s day, am I right? You could have done a Mickey Mouse type of thing for parties later one with this technique.

  • Amy March 19, 2013 - 8:01 pm Reply

    Wow, it looks like a blind Mokey fraggle! Or maybe she just has cataracts?

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  • Rea Verdon March 20, 2013 - 5:55 am Reply

    I had green sick once, it made me laugh in a pitiful way before gagging and being sick again…the curse of having a birthday on St.Patricks day…sigh

  • DaisyDesigner March 20, 2013 - 3:12 pm Reply

    Hmmm. Happy St. Penis Day?

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  • Princess Buttercup April 8, 2013 - 12:06 pm Reply

    “May the wind always be at your back, and if you drink too much, may your green vomit at least be sort of amusing.”
    You definitely want the wind at your back when vomiting, or they may not let you back in the bar.

  • Eleanor Bennett-White November 19, 2013 - 5:38 pm Reply

    *insert a penis joke here*

    • thatpandabitca April 16, 2014 - 2:08 am Reply

      HA. Insert…

  • DaisyDesigner March 17, 2014 - 2:40 pm Reply

    Sorry, but if you’re seeing penises that look like that, then it’s time to find a new boyfriend!

    • Eleanor April 16, 2014 - 11:50 am Reply

      Good thing for me I’ve never had a boyfriend, then.

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