Rolo Stuffed Ritz Crackers

0 Posted by - April 19, 2013 - Food & Drink

I bought a box of Ritz crackers and a bag of Rolos a week or two ago because I knew I was going to do this pin for Rolo stuffed Ritz crackers.

Image from Something Swanky (When I saw the URL, I thought it was Something's Wanky... that could be the subtitle of THIS blog, though.)

Image from Something Swanky (When I saw the URL, I thought it was Something’s Wanky… that could be the subtitle of THIS blog, though.)

When I went to the cabinet this morning, this is how many Ritz crackers were left.

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It’s possible that I have a Ritz-pilfering house elf, but it’s more likely that my husband found them and ate them all.

I did manage to hold on to most of the Rolos… although I may have had 7 of them for breakfast this morning. (What? 7 is one serving. No judging.)

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I feel like a dumbass posting process pictures of this because, come on, guys, all I’m doing is putting a Rolo on a Ritz and melting it.

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The original post didn’t say how long to leave them in the oven, but mine were in there for about 8 minutes.

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Another cracker on top, and done. My kind of baking.

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Lest ye think these turned out perfectly, because how could they not, I shall once again demonstrate that I am capable of fucking anything up. A couple of them spooged caramel.

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Even still, I would say that they generally looked like the original.

I was sort of expecting them to taste like something greater than the sum of Ritz and Rolos, but they didn’t really. I would have preferred a higher Rolos-to-Ritz ratio, actually. They were a little bit too salty for me. (You like all the math in that paragraph? Yeah buddy.)

But, hey, if you’re a useless-sack-of-dicks type of person in the kitchen, like me, this one might be good to keep in your file.

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  • Heather

    You never know when PMS will come along and leave you with a mad craving for this unholy alliance of cracker and chocolate caramel spooge.

    • http://www.facebook.com/katherine.horejsi.1 Katherine Horejsi

      Good call. And with the general marshmallow theme going on in other comments it could be a S’more-ish thing too. How fab!

  • Kristin

    When I was younger I would eat marshmallow stuffed ritz crackers. Imagine that spooge scene.

  • Clark McGee

    You mean to say, with all that spooging, it was just too salty for you? Well, maybe if it had marshmallow and was a whiter cream…

    • Llama spit

      Or, mayhap it just needs to be washed before you put it in your mouth. Ballsweat ain’t good, menfolk! IT AIN’T GOOD!

  • whiskeygirl7

    Lmao the ad today at the top of the page is saying “curb your craving for alcohol” me thinks there is a lack of appreciation for your cocknails!

    • Llama spit

      Mine is for equifax. How boring. On the bright side, we can still get those miley cyrus sex tapes from the ad on the side!

    • http://www.facebook.com/bookmole Lesley Davis

      Damn ad blockers, spoiling my fun.

  • fluffygirl

    Maybe if it were between 2 cookies instead, and substituting some G&T for the Rolo’s. Win-win, right there!

    • Llama spit

      Oreos! Heck yeah! Oreos and rolos! Call it Rorleos!

      • fluffernutter

        Oreo-LO.

        • http://pintester.com/ Pintester

          Roloreos.

          • Kim

            Areolas? I mean oreolos? (What?)

          • Llama spit

            You win!

      • Angie

        YOLO-RE-OLOS! You only live once oreo rolos.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kendra.s.caudill Kendra Smith Caudill

      Roleos

  • http://www.facebook.com/deborah.bobo Deborah Smoak Bobo

    Made these for dessert at the homeless shelter…used the Wallmart version of rolos. Less unwrapping and a bigger piece of candy. They were really good! At least the homeless folks thought so!

  • embers618

    You say “useless sack of dicks” as though a sack of dicks would be useless… I guess in the kitchen they might be ;)

    • lat

      dicks are never useless. especially not in the kitchen! ;)

    • http://www.facebook.com/kendra.s.caudill Kendra Smith Caudill

      I would have to say that it depends on the condition of the dicks. Are they flacid? Because the only real use a flacid dick has is the spewing of urine all around the toilet. (And maybe a hearty giggle. Proof God has a sense of humor.) Now a bag of erect dicks is another story. Stand 4 on their base and viola, you have a stand for you serving platter. I am sure there are more great uses for an erect penis in the penis in the kitchen, besides the obvious “on the kitchen table” scenario.

      • Cassie

        perhaps displayed artfully in a vase as a nice centerpiece.

  • moonwyrm

    Dip ‘em in Chocolate, it would help even the sweet-to-Ritz ratio.

  • Beth Caudill

    You may have cooked them too long. Generally 2 – 5 minutes is enough time to soften the chocolate. (okay I make a lot of candy at Christmas and one of the favorites is rolos and pretzels). I think I prefer peanut butter on my ritz. You gonna do the PB/Ritz/Dipped in Chocolate thingies? That way you can feed your Ritz elf some more.

  • Amanda

    When I was younger I would make homemade thin mints. Melt chocolate, add mint extract and dip Ritz crackers into it. Taste really similar to the original. I bet the Rolo/Ritz combo would be good dipped in chocolate!

    • brigidkeely

      yeah, I hopped on here to share that. Dipping these in/drizzling these with chocolate would help cut the saltiness.

  • Andrea Fouste

    This looks like cum oozing out of crackers. Delish!

  • Kaeleigh Mills

    I can have the worst day in the world and then I get on Pintester and my day becomes excellent, your witty use or words and corny puns make life worth living because I know that I can go home and try something on pinterest and hey, if it turns out wrong at least I can have the can-do attitude that you have. Thank you for being you, you truly are an inspiration!

    • http://pintester.com/ Pintester

      Aw, thank you, sweetness! Comments like yours make my day!

  • Dionce

    tried this with pretzels instead of crackers and it was pretty darn good

  • Jennmarie68

    if all spooge were caramel flavored i’d be the fattest woman alive, but think how happy my fiance would be!
    and even though someone beat me to it i have to say that i would never call a bag of dicks useless. especially if this whole caramel spooge thing happens

  • http://www.facebook.com/crystalyzaguirre0712 Crystal Kelly Yzaguirre

    you know what else is salty? sacks of dicks.

    • http://www.facebook.com/bookmole Lesley Davis

      Only after they have been shaken…

  • http://www.facebook.com/kendra.s.caudill Kendra Smith Caudill

    Chocolaty, buttery, trans fat deliciousness.

  • Kaley

    I think the oozing spooge had to do with pulling out at the wrong time. (What? Out of the oven! Get your ind out of the gutter…)

  • http://www.facebook.com/ChunkyMonkeysMommy75 Lynn Steffen

    OMG That is the BEST EVER last sentence in a blog post! Like Ever! Seriously! Love it!

  • http://profiles.google.com/veggiecrocker Athena Holter-Mehren

    Hehe. You said spooged.

  • Kristi

    I find that the pretzel/rolo/pecan combination has a more pleasant sweet to salty ratio. Or the pretzel/kiss/m&m is also a good. choice.

  • Bonnie

    Its better with pretzels.

  • salsanfeffer

    I like the ones with pecans that resemble little vaginas. I just can’t bring myself to eat them though.

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  • Jackalyn

    Totally dip them in chocolate!

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  • Judith Elsroad

    I know i’m four months late to this, but my grandmother makes these amazing Ritz cracker cookies. She makes a million Ritz cracker/peanut butter sandwiches and then dips them in melted chocolate. When i was in college, all i wanted in my care packages was Ritz cracker cookies. Practically perfect in every way.