As you know if you’ve been reading the blog this month, husband and I have been attempting to eat paleo diet-ish stuff for 30 days. Guys, I have to say, I’m pretty much sold. Not to be all TMI, but every body odor is less odory when you don’t eat processed food.
I even tested that theory with paleo chili. Now, granted, paleo also eliminates beans from the diet, and if anything causes malodorous emanations, it’s beans, so this chili is immediately less iffy than your typical beany chili.
Guys, beans are my favorite. I don’t even care. At least 8% of the reason I got married is so that I can eat chili and fart without worrying if a dude will break up with me over it. (Yes, divorce happens, but not usually over farts, if my research is correct.*)
But, I was willing to try this chili, even sans beans, because I’m committed to this whole paleo thing (for at least the next 8 days).
This month I have become quite adept at chopping vegetables without making trips to the emergency room. There was a period in my life where I was not allowed to use the kitchen knives because my long-suffering husband got tired of watching me injure myself, freak the hell out, and eventually pass out. I have acquired some skill since then, though. Observe.
The awesome thing about this chili is that you use one pot for everything. First you cook the veggies a little…
And then you add more meat than any one person should be able to handle (that’s what she said) and cook that…
And then you add a fucktillion garlic cloves because if you’re not going to have bean farts, you might as well have garlic seeping out of your pores.
And then you add the tomato-ey stuff and spices (lots of spices) and simmer that shit for, like, you know, hours, because that’s how chili do.
I have to say, I was skeptical, but this was some pretty darn good chili. Lots of nice flavor, and of course you know I love the meat. (Hurrhurr.) Know what would have made it better? Beans. And some cheddar cheese and sour cream on top. And Saltines. Womp womp.
But even just plain, it was decent chili.
For those of you sticking around to the bitter (hind) end because you want to know what sort of odor it caused, the garlic was a little stinky, but there were no bean farts to speak of, since it was beanless. Kind of a let-down I know. To make it up to you, here’s this.
* I did not do any actual research on this. But I’m sure there is data. Gottman, get on that shit.