Ok, guys, I try not to talk about my wacky diets too much on here, unless I am testing one, but right now I’m doing a 30-day paleo diet challenge wherein my husband and I try to keep strictly paleo for 30 days. He cheats a lot. I cheated once. With Jack Daniels. The walk of shame was not one I’d like to repeat. But anyways. This relates to today’s post, I promise.
Today I am testing paleo ice cream. Yup.
Now imma be straight with you here. Paleo ice cream sort of flies in the face of all that is paleo. The idea is not to create delicious treats and baked goods off a list of approved foods. The idea is to eat a “clean” diet of unprocessed foods. But, dude, I have been eating chicken breasts, spinach, and apples for 15 fucking days and if there was ever a good time for chocolate ice cream (even if it’s not really ice cream), the time is now.
All of these things are technically allowed on a paleo diet:
Of course, I’m using a shit-ton of honey in this recipe, so, yah know. Also a shit-ton of cocoa, but turns out cocoa doesn’t have sugar in it, which I didn’t know. (Shut up.)
I started by mixing together my coconut milks.
Little did I know that the full-fat coconut milk would have a giant glob of solidified something on the top and would plop impressively into my mixing bowl, creating an explosion of coconut milk fat on my counter. (That’s what she said?)
Once mixed with the honey, the consistency evened out some.
Then I added 1/3 of a cup of cocoa, which seemed like a whole lot to me, especially since it took like a full minute to get it mixed in.
But, lo, I consulted my recipe again and it was time to add another third of a cup of cocoa. This shit gon’ be good, y’all.
I then assembled my ice cream maker (which for some reason had an extra part thingie and I don’t know what it was for, oh well)…
Then I poured in my mix and let it spin.
The recipe suggested keeping it in the ice cream maker for 20 minutes, but mine was still soup at 20 minutes, so I left it a while longer… like a lot longer. After an hour or so, it was still soup. Hrm.
Delicious chocolate soup, to be sure, but still soup. Not frozen in the least. So I did what the Pintester do, and I decided to just stick it in the freezer to see if anything would happen.
Hours later, I went back to check and I thought it was frozen until I stuck my spoon in and the chocolate soup erupted from the now-punctured frozen soup crust. Perhaps I just didn’t let it freeze long enough. Perhaps it will never freeze completely. I do not know.
I do know that it’s pretty damn delicious and rivals any for-real ice cream I’ve ever had, even in its soupy state.
That could be extreme deprivation talking, though. It’s been 15 days since I’ve had anything remotely sweet (besides that Manhattan, and it was only sweet for like an hour, and then it was evil). Still, I give it two caveman thumbs up.
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