I want to tell you how delicious this soup is, but I’m currently sitting next to a half-finished bowl that I can’t even stand to look at anymore because I’ve been eating the leftovers for a solid week and it’s not as good the 7th time you eat it, just sayin’.
I’ve been on the hunt for a paleo butternut squash soup recipe and I found this one on the same site with the highly approved chorizo kale soup, so I thought I’d give it a go.
Also, I finally bought an immersion blender and I needed something to blend, bitches.
Sadly, the fun of blending cannot happen until you figure out how to dismantle one of these:
The instructions just said to cube it, so I figured I’d just chop that beast in half and go to town. And then my knife (my nice, two-man Henckels knife) got stuck in it.
iPhone to the rescue: “Siri, how the fuck do you cube a butternut squash?”
Apparently you have to peel it first, which is probably easier if you have a peeling utensil rather than a paring knife, but I did the best I could.
And then you still have to chop it in half, which, despite the squash now being peeled, is still not that easy. I managed eventually, but it took some maneuvering and praying to retain all my digits.
Then you scoop out the guts. Practice for pumpkin season.
Then, finally, you cube that shit and throw it in the crockpot. This whole process took me like 20 minutes, but I did it. Butternut squash: 0. Pintester: 1.
But then I had to peel and chop up more shit. Sigh. Two carrots, an apple, and 10 more minutes later, I was finally done chopping things.
Then I added some more crap: the ubiquitous paleo coconut milk, and some cinnamon and nutmeg, and some chicken stock, which I made from scratch, thank you– well, by that I mean I boiled some chicken and saved, you know, the chicken water…
I am Betty Fuckin’ Crocker, people.
Then you just let it cook all day and smell the glorious goodness simmering. Seriously, it smells like Autumn ate a pumpkin pie and a pumpkin latte and an apple crisp and some sparkly fall breezes and then farted in your kitchen. (Damn, I’m like a poet or something. Eat your heart out, e.e. cummings.)
I forgot to take a picture of what it looked like when it had been cooking all day before I blended it, but remember how I said Autumn ate all that stuff and then farted? Well. Use your imagination. It wasn’t exactly pleasant-looking.
Thankfully, the blender turned everything back to a nice, creamy, festive orangey soup and it was pretty and it tasted like the light in an apple orchard mixed with the sound of crunching leaves underfoot. (Eh? Eh?)
Seven days later, I am so tired of it that just looking at it sort of makes me want to vom. So maybe save some and freeze it, unless you always want to equate butternut squash soup with moldy pumpkin gutslime and slugs and dog shit in the bottom of your leaf pile. Happy Autumn.
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