I know I said there would be a video today. There will not be. I am newly returned from a visit with my 2-year-old and 4-month-old nieces and their snotty boog noses, and now I have a snotty boog nose and cramps (the cramps are unrelated to the boog nose) and no one needs to see me in that state. (By the way, snotty boog nose is totally worth it because the nieces’ cuteness outweighs any cost of visiting with them.)
Instead, I decided to make these Easy Pumpkin Spice Muffins because I had all the ingredients in my pantry…
… “all the ingredients” being 2 things.
Now is the moment where I make all the real bakers upset because I get out my fancy fucking KitchenAid stand mixer to mix up cake mix and a can of pumpkin, but hey, I’ve got it, so why not use it?
Also, this is way easier than mixing by hand, and I am teh lazy.
I was a little worried at this point because, even in my limited baking experience, the batter didn’t seem watery enough for cupcakes. It was kind of thick and lumpy, really. (TWSS? Ew…) But I spooned it in the muffin tins because, really, what the hell else was I going to do with it?
And then the dog and I cleaned up the pumpkin leavings because pumpkin is good for dogs and therefore must also be good for people, the end.
I stuck them in the oven for 20 minutes.
During those 20 minutes I managed to rid the kitchen of all evidence of my husband’s bachelor living over the past four days, including the half-eaten bowl of chili left on the counter, I assume, as a science experiment to see how long it would take to get stinky and grow moldy polka-dots. (Conclusion: Less than four days.) I didn’t take a picture of that. You’re welcome.
So you know that magical cupcake chemistry that occurs when you put cupcakes in the oven, kind of lumpy and half-full, and they come out all smooth and fluffy and spilling over the tops of the cupcake tins? Yeah, that didn’t happen.
These look, in fact, pretty much exactly they way they did when I glopped piles of pumpkin mixture in the muffin tins. They did not smooth out, they did not rise. They did get baked and crusty.
So they get no points for presentation. For texture, they also score a big fat ZERO, because they’re sort of rubbery and unpleasant. Surprisingly, they actually taste pretty good if you can get past how ugly and rubbery they are.
I have 23 of these left, and I’m too embarrassed to send them to work with my husband because they’re way ugly, so I guess my dog and I will finish them off.
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