Lots of people told me that this recipe for ice cream cone Christmas trees was so easy that they did it with their kid’s kindergarten class or whatever. I figured that sounded about my speed…
Confession time: I’m not putting up a Christmas tree this year. In fact, my boxes and boxes of Christmas decor are mostly still up in the attic, undisturbed. I did manage to get out a few strings of lights for the front porch and my tiny little mod tinsel tree, which I have “decorated” by putting presents underneath. This is mostly to trick the neighbors into thinking I am not a grinch, and also so I can say, “But I do have a tree,” if anyone from my family makes sad sympathy noises about my lack of tree. I just can’t fathom getting up the energy to haul all that shit out and arrange it festively. Bah humbug.
But edible Christmas trees? I’m all over that.
Plus I didn’t have to go out and buy anything because I already had all of this:
Ok, sure, some of it is not Christmassy, but gimme a break. Sprinkles are expensive, yo, so Halloween and pink will have to do.
First step was to concoct some green frosting. Luckily, one of the faithful Pintestes sent me industrial strength food coloring a while back. (And if you ever want to mail me anything, you should feel free, by the way.)
I did not run a scientific test or anything, but the original blog post suggested using eighty (80) drops of food coloring to make your frosting the appropriate color of green. Hell no, you guys. I have awesome food coloring.
So that’s, like, ten drops of magical industrial strength food coloring, and I didn’t add anymore after the photo. Don’t mess with industrial grade food coloring, people. It will fuck you up.
Eighty drops, HA! This pleasing green comes from ten. Boom.
Frosting an ice cream cone is less difficult than I thought it would be, although I am dubious as to the nature of this activity with 5-year-olds, still. (And no, I will not be re-testing this with the addition of 5-year-olds. I am childless so I don’t have to do that shit. I do clean, quiet activities with my nieces and nephew, or, alternately, sugar them up and stick them in front of the Xbox for a few hours.)
So in the original blog post, the sweet kindergarten-loving mommy decorated one of the trees with coconut and it looked as if the tree were flocked with delicate snowflakes. Yeah. Mine looks like it has dandruff. But I will say, they turned out way cuter than I thought they would.
And, since these are technically food, you probably want to know how they taste. You know, I like frosting and I like ice cream cones, but together they are surprisingly not good. When you add weird shit like coconut, red hots (inedible crunch candy of fire and doom), and mini marshmallows that have gone a bit stale, they’re really not very good at all. I ate one anyway because I’m a scientist (not really), but now I sort of feel the holiday vomits coming on.
Also? Very messy. Again, do with 5-year-olds at your own risk.