Olive Penguins

2 Posted by - February 23, 2014 - Food & Drink

This pin test was originally posted on CraftFail.

I knew I had to try these when I saw them because you guys love crap like this. (Example: devil chicks.) Somehow, my food-as-animals projects always turn out many shades of creepy. And penguins are just a little creepy to begin with. (Just me? Oh. Awkward.)

You’ll note to begin with that I read the directions wrong and forgot to buy another jar of smaller olives to be the penguin heads. I only bought the colossal body olives. I decided to sub with a half-used jar of kalamata olives, because why the hell not?

olive penguin ingredients

The most laborious and tedious part of this entire process was prepping the carrots. I hate peeling carrots, guys. Hate. The peel goes everywhere, and half the time the end breaks off the freaking carrot anyway, after you spent all that time peeling it, and just ugh. Stupid carrots. Why do you have to grow in the ground and therefore require peeling, huh? Get that shit together.

carrots

Also, these carrots happen to be the tiniest carrots known to man, and for this pin test, that’s not such a good thing. Too small carrot and too big olive. (Sounds like a bad date, right?)

Pictured is the head and feet of one penguin.

penguin head and feet

I almost decided to give up here, but I pressed on and made a body out of a giant olive and cream cheese, and it was very, very messy. (I won’t make a tiny carrot, giant olive, really messy joke, but feel free to go there if you like.)

But I actually managed to get the thing to, you know, stand up and vaguely resemble a penguin. Ish. Well, you know, as close as I figured I would get anyway. They’re sure not going to win any beauty contests, and they took way a lot of time to make, even with these mediocre results, but hey. I did a thing.

black-olive-penguins

Summary
Article Name
Olive Penguins
Author
Description
It's cute when your food looks like animals, unless it looks like the animal it actually WAS in life. Olive penguins. They're cute.

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  • TheSwede

    Those look like little organic robot zombie penguins, ready to take over the world. Big plus if you ask me.
    Cheeeeeeeese!

  • Beth Caudill

    Cute but freakish heads. Alien possessed penguins?

  • Kbullet

    Those are fucking terrifying. Jesus. No wonder I don’t like olives. They seem far too tedious.

  • Alie

    Hee, hee, you got it to stand up (that’s what she said). I actually like your mutant/alien evil penguins.

  • Havana James

    I didn’t know that penguins had horns. I’d probably turn the big olive on its side and make a unicorn instead.

  • Sara

    But how do they taste?

  • http://bybreenah.blogspot.com/ Breenah

    It’s definitely not as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

  • mend

    i made these before, but with mozzarella cheese instead of cream cheese, was much easier

  • Beth Anne Riches

    I cannot stop giggling at that last picture. It’s like bizarre mutant penguins with elongated heads because they came out of their mother’s penguin vagina wrong or something. YES, I know penguins hatch from eggs! (I really do love penguins, and one of my prized possessions is a penguin booze decanter that plays “How Dry I Am” when you wind it up.) But those olive penguins definitely got their heads squished when traveling down the pink penguin tunnel.

  • Kathy C

    They look like something from Doctor Who. I count that as a win!

    • Sandi Boyd

      On behalf of all Whovians, thank you for spelling out “Doctor”!

      • http://kittnen.net/ kittnen

        Anytime my mother tries to reference the show, she always writes Dr. Who. I feel like an exasperated 15 year old whenever I see her do that and just want to go, “Oh my gawd, Moo-ooom, get with the program, gawd.”

  • ChickieD

    They look angry.

  • John Kyle Chalmers

    I fell into the penguin exhibit at the old Durban aquarium when i was 7… I am now freaked out the by little fuckers! You are not alone!

  • Jill

    They kind of look like Trojan Soldier penguins

  • Eileen M. Mitsui

    While you were killing Happy Feet, elsewhere in the world someone was up to THIS: http://www.buzzfeed.com/maycie/some-guy-drew-a-penis-on-his-wifes-white-board-every-single WARNING: NSFW!! I mean, at all. This is 365 sexual harassment sensitivity training REQUIRED.

  • MrsBox

    Next time sub cream cheese (because, eww) for baby boconcchini, which convieniently comes in round shapes already.
    And you peel your carrots? I just give them a wash and eat them.

    • Stacey

      Baby bocons don’t work for this. They don’t fit inside the olive shell. They are too large.

  • Dar Hamill

    Yours look like the vultures from The Jungle Book. Much better than cutesie fucking penguins! WIN!

  • Alli

    Considering the originals look like soulless penguin monsters (the no eyes thing is freaky) yours really don’t look that bad in comparison. Seems like an awful lot of work just to eat some olives and carrots though

  • Jennifer Bickford

    Impaled penguin snacks..yum!!

  • kelly

    Try using a potato peeler on your carrots. It’s much easier and safer than a knife. :)

  • TerraFirma

    who are these bitches on pinterest that have the time to make their food look like animals? Cream cheese with olive sounds nasty anyhow…

  • Mdmeraven

    I’ve done these for christmas parties for the past few years.. everyone says the same thing ” I can’t EAT it.. it’s too cute…” and they take them home.