A Failed Cookie Bowl Test and an Anus Analogy

0 Posted by - March 13, 2015 - Easter, Food & Drink

You’ve seen them. I know you have. Turn a muffin tin upside down, slap some cookie batter on there, and the magic of baking produces awesomely adorable cookie cups which you can fill with whatever your little heart desires.

This particular one is from iteachmychild.com, but you can spit in any direction on Pinterest and hit a cookie bowl.

This particular one is from iteachmychild.com, but you can spit in any direction on Pinterest and hit a cookie bowl.

So you know I had to try it.

Now I ain’t dumb. Inept, yes, but not particularly dumb. I realize that the only people who ever really manage to get these cookie bowl things to work are internet-famous recipe bloggers who make money at producing beautiful food results.

Most of us? Well…

Image from CraftFail.com

Image from CraftFail.com

All I have to my advantage is a long, long history of previous fails.

So I figured I’d side-step the problem of the cookie bowls sticking to the muffin tins with my favorite weapon: Baker’s Joy. That shit is motherfucking serious.

cookie bowl prep

Also, I couldn’t find a tube of sugar cookie dough. I think my grocery store is morally opposed to sugar cookie dough in a tube, because I’ve looked for it several times and I can never find it. But they did have Easter bunny pre-cut cookies, and I figured that would just save me the work of separating the cookie dough.

bunny cookies

Sold. And then I can also call this an Easter recipe. Win-win, right?

Thus armed, all that was left to do was spray the tins and arrange the cookies.

beginnings of cookie bowls

It was very easy. Very, very easy. Possibly too easy, like in the movies when there are no hitches in the plan and then suddenly someone realizes that this is what the bad guy wants us to do.

itsatrap

Yeah. That.

I’m not sure who the bad guy is in this analogy, but he won, and I did not fly, victorious, up the anus of a Death Star to deliver my explosive payload. (Sorry. I just grossed myself out.)

Instead, I ended up with this hot (literally) mess.

cookie bowl fail

Even had I not burned the living shit out of them, they still would not have been bowls. Exhibit A:

burned nonbowls

The saddest part about all of this is that I can’t even eat them because they taste like burning. (I know because I tried one.)

But at least I got to drop that fail-as-bad-guy-as-Death-Star-anus analogy on you. So it’s not a total loss.

cookie bowls... or not

Summary
Article Name
A Failed Cookie Bowl Test and an Anus Analogy
Description
What do Easter bunnies, cookie bowls, and Admiral Ackbar all have in common? Nothing except that they're all in this post.
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8 Comments

  • Arathael March 13, 2015 - 9:14 pm Reply

    I started chuckling as soon as I saw the innocent little bunnies on the raw dough….we all knew how it was going to go down….. 😀

    My favorite is the one that has a gaping maw of a mouth, like a Halloween mask….

    • Pintester March 13, 2015 - 9:50 pm Reply

      I was a little creeped out by the bunnies to begin with. Now they’re downright scary.

  • Beth Anne Riches March 14, 2015 - 12:27 am Reply

    I love the one that looks like a skull with his mouth gaping open! It’s a walking dead cookie bowl!

  • TheSwede March 14, 2015 - 2:09 am Reply

    A bit dali-esque.

    1. At first I didn’t notice they were bunnies. At a glance the ears look like eyes, so I figured they were smiley faces, which somehow makes them creepier.
    2. I read Iteachmychild as Ieatmychild which makes it even worse
    3. I saw the horror that is burned cookies. Oh the huge manatee!

  • Angie March 14, 2015 - 2:22 pm Reply

    Oh my Gosh that is hilarious! Looks like all those bunnies had strokes haha!!

  • vequihellin March 18, 2015 - 8:59 am Reply

    I expect the bunny cookies were designed in such a way as to maintain their shape and integrity in the oven (otherwise traumatized children ahoy), so that was the first mistake. Sugar Cookies are fairly easy to make – there is almost nothing to them so you can tweak the recipe according to the outcomes – so if they drip everywhere, add a little more flour, don’t drip enough – a bit more butter and maybe some sugar (because who knows what that shit does, right?). I think I might have to try this with the Sugar Cookie dough recipe I make for LeBoyfriend as they seem to have the right amount of spread…

  • Flee March 19, 2015 - 6:40 am Reply

    These seriously look like aliens, and not bunnies… Good Job LOL

  • Rebecca Neal April 20, 2015 - 9:58 am Reply

    Your cookie dough thingers were too small relative to the muffin tin. You needed to try these on a mini muffin tin.

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