The 10-Minute Pseudo-Skirt That I’ll Never Wear in Public

0 Posted by - July 6, 2015 - DIY & Crafts, Women's Apparel

I don’t know why I always think it’s a good idea to sew things. I don’t have a sewing machine, for one thing. For another thing, I don’t sew, like ever. I mean, I sew buttons on things now and then, and then they fall off again, and then I just stop buttoning whatever the buttons fell off of (and hope they’re not pants).

But I fell in love with these cute little kid skirts.

I decided I had to make one, since I have a lot of my husband’s old t-shirts in the closet and this would, of course, translate to a fully grown (and oversized, if we’re being honest) adult.

I forgot to take into account that all the t-shirts my husband doesn’t want to wear as t-shirts anymore are ugly.

picture of ugly brown t-shirt

I also forgot that I don’t like short skirts, and it turns out that once you cut the arm part off a t-shirt, even one that a full-grown man wears, it’s gonna be short. And that’s before you add the elastic.

bottom of t-shirt, held up to show how short it is

Still, I had already started, and so I plunged ahead. With red thread. Here is where I tell you that this is a not-even-close-to-10-minute skirt if you don’t have a sewing machine. It’s more like a 30-to-40-minutes-of-shoulder-cramping-finger-bleeding-pain skirt.

picture of the poorly-sewn waistband of the skirt

And that’s if you totally blaspheme your way through the shittiest sewing job ever just to get it done in a semi-reasonable amount of time. I then secured the elastic in an equally shitty manner.

equally terrible sewing job on elastic wasitband

But, you know, I have to say that if you take into account my lack of skills, lack of sewing machine, lack of a nice t-shirt, and fat ass, this didn’t turn out quite as bad as I was imagining. I did forget that part of the reason this particular shirt was in the cast-off bin was because the hem had part-way come out, and I will never wear this skirt in public because I hate my thighs and my thighs hate me, but you know, it resembles a skirt and it is technically wearable as a piece of clothing in that it covers most of my butt, so there’s that.

10 minute skirt: cute on little girls, vaguely creepy on fat old ladies

Anyone want an ugly brown skirt meant to fit a giant butt?

Summary
Article Name
The 10-Minute Pseudo-Skirt That I'll Never Wear in Public
Description
I was tempted by the siren-song of the Pinterest project 10-minute skirt. The reality check came in the form of a crappy product and a fat ass.
Author

10 Comments

  • deepfriedyankee July 7, 2015 - 6:44 pm Reply

    Don’t be ashamed that your thighs met and fell in love and never wanted to be apart. Most of us have thighs in that stable, loving relationship.

    • henna May 13, 2016 - 1:36 pm Reply

      This is the best comment I’ve ever heard! I bow down to your wittiness!

  • Sarah July 9, 2015 - 11:44 am Reply

    This is so great. I have sewn for years and tried my hand at nearly identical projects…even for little girls…and they turn out horribly every time! You have no reason to blame yourself =)

  • Jen July 10, 2015 - 10:49 am Reply

    Throw some slipshorts underneath them for that layered look…

  • Paula July 10, 2015 - 10:49 am Reply

    That was not half bad, and you look pretty good in a short skirt girl!

  • 1keljohnson July 10, 2015 - 11:03 am Reply

    A. The skirt isn’t bad.
    B. Your thighs are cute
    C. Pair it with hand dyed tights and hand sewn shoes? (insert sarcasm here)
    D. Have a cocktail and use the skirt to dust with

    • Pintester July 10, 2015 - 11:05 am Reply

      Dust? Who dusts?

  • Elizabeth July 13, 2015 - 12:08 pm Reply

    You could wear it on your head when you are pretending to dust, like a buboushka.

  • Cathy September 10, 2015 - 2:27 am Reply

    I make tragic things all the time, handsewn “clothes”. This would be good as kind of a shirt extender or a layering look under another shirt and over pants or tights.

  • Elise Evans February 10, 2016 - 3:28 pm Reply

    This is glorious and I’m sad I just found this because it completely sums up my feelings about handsewing (or any sewing, really) anything. Cheers!

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