Guys, my face should have zero blackheads by now. I mean, I’ve tried a whole bunch of blackhead removers. And yet (and yet!), I keep coming back for more abuse.
This pin doesn’t show a picture of the blackhead remover, but it does take you to a page with several at-home beauty remedies, including one that involves pouring beer on your head. I shit you not.
Image from expressnightout.com
You know how I feel about doing anything with alcohol besides just drinking it. So I didn’t test that one. I tested the baking soda and milk blackhead remover.
I had to use up my milk anyways.
Oops. This is one beauty remedy I will not be tasting, thanks.
Anyway, when mixed, it looked like… well, milk. And honestly, it didn’t mix that well. It was mostly milk with baking soda at the bottom.
After following the directions exactly, it sort of felt like I just rubbed ever-so-slightly gritty milk into my face. And I could not see a big difference.
So, I decided to go all Mythbusters on this one and re-tool it until something happened or something exploded, whichever came first. Spoiler alert: nothing exploded. I know, guys. I know. If you want to stop reading now, I will understand.
Basically, I poured out all of the milk until I was left with a sticky baking soda paste at the bottom of my measuring cup, and I scrubbed that shit into my pores.
Bonus fact: this will also take off your fingernail polish and turn your make-up sponge sort of nail polish pink, and then you will panic and think you have somehow made yourself hemorrhage pink blood from your face. This will be the most exciting part of the process.
Then I took a shower to rinse it all off, because, lo, it was a fucking mess.
And the results? Well, my face sort of felt cleaner, I guess. My pores look the same guys. Except way redder where I scrubbed.
Sad face. Because irritated skin is not as cool of a result as an explosion. I have failed you. I apologize.
48 Comments
Oh my god, I literally had to get out of bed just now because I was laughing so hard, and trying not to make any noise ( because my husband was sleeping at one in the afternoon). Even my ferrets came over to see if I was dying or not. I totally read your blog from start the end and it’s GREAT. Usually I only try the pins I know I can do ( like making an oil lamp because who doesn’t like power tools) I’m totally your new stalker now! I’ll even share my booze with you.
I feel your pain. I pintested the one that calls for egg whites and tissue paper to create a mask for removing blackheads. Fail. Keep ’em coming girl!! Totally get a kick out of you! Good stuff!
I’ve tried what seems like every blackhead remover recipe under the sun and all of them have failed. (Except the toothpaste. That shit worked.) I feel your pain. (Love your blog, by the way. I’ve been blogstalking you for several weeks.)
aren’t these the same ingredients that will clean a sink clog???…… LOL jk, still love ya. Keep up the good work
I tried this too. I really keep hoping one of these things will work on blackheads, but no. I knew it would be bad when my skin started to burn. I was a bit red which is bad enough but then then the next day the skin on my nose was really dry and peeling. That’s super attractive to look like you have boogers hanging out your nose all day.
ecommissaris You poor thing!!! If you use baking soda, you’re only supposed to use a tiny, tiny bit. I’ve never been game to try it though. Sounds brutal.
After my first attempt at one of these, I am loathe to try any others. I can’t stand the pain of losing a layer of face skin. To be perfectly honest, I can’t spare it.
You had me at hemorrhage pink. Actually, I have really gigantic, manholes on my nose unless I use proactiv. It’s the best I’ve found so far.
Great Job!
I think I am going to need an explosion to get rid of my blackheads. Thanks for giving me the heads up so I didn’t try yet another home remedy!
Baking soda is actually a well-known remedy for using as a cleanser. But you’re supposed to use the tiniest bit… and not with milk.
You are amazingly funny!!! Love reading your blog!!!Your fan,Eve!
LOL, no surprise with this one.
I have this AMAZING thing to remove blackheads…it’s called a pore strip. I know its not as creative as the Pinterest methods and it hurts to rip that bitch off but it works, and part of me lives for the rip anyway. I’m a sadistic fuck
KatieNielsen you can make your own pore strip at home with unflavored gelatin and milk make into a past and heat in microwave 10 sec. Put on nose wait till dry pill off. You can see a video on YouTube It works and its cheap. * don’t use flavor or colored jello.
KatieNielsen you can make your own pore strip at home with unflavored gelatin and milk make into a past and heat in microwave 10 sec. Put on nose wait till dry pill off. You can see a video on YouTube It works and its cheap. * don’t use flavor or colored jello.
HA HA HA HA Priceless. I will tell you that beer on the hair makes your hair amazingly soft and shiney. I felt the same way about doing anything but drinking it… so I only know that because I went to a rugby fest that guarantees you’ll have bathed (several times) in cheap beer by lots of drunks who think it’s funnier to throw their beer than drink it. So crack open a (cheap) cold one. Beware, it burns. But what beauty product doesn’t these days?
Probably WAY too late to big this to your attention but there is something wrong with your head if pouring beer on it burns. Might want to look into that…
And “lo, it was a fucking mess” can be your new blog tagline if you want to mix it up a bit ^_^ And, while exciting, you should probably stay away from any explosive combustibles…unless it’s an ingest-able form of alcohol…
You know, you could maybe make your own pin about a new nail polish remover. As I am sick too death of scrubbing and scrubbing at my nails…
Ha! You make me laugh. Thank you for testing all these myths – you do a great job. I now know how to remove my nailpolish 🙂
You can steam your face with hot almost boiling water in a bowl put a towel over your head and put your face above bowl. ( don’t put face In hot almost boiling water that would be bad) use can do it 5-15 min then pat face dry. Then you can see video on YouTube for home made pore strip it is unflavore gelitan 12 tsp and milk 12 tsp milk stir it up put in microwave for 10 seconds stir it up again should be warm but not to hot. Dont burn yourself by making it to hot. Wait for it to harden then cringe nose so a part of it comes up and pill it off.its amazing the splash your face with cold water. Steam and warm water open pores. Cold water closes them. Hope this helps some people I love it but like everything else it works better for some people then others.
I meant to put then splash face with cold Water not the splash……….please try this and make a post if you like it so more people will know about it
Or, after a shower throw a Biore pore strip on….saves you about an hour (sounds like) and involves no cooking! lol
Does beer make ALL your hair soft. (yes that hair!!)
JessicaSutterlict Do you have hard pubes or something? Shave it off or throw some conditioner on it and you’ll be fine
OMG, pouring beer down there will make you completely irresistible to men! (and some women o’ course lol) So be prepared!
Lmao. Now I’ve read everything. Well, if you want shiny, bouncy pubes, go for it.
This shit is funnier than looking at the peopleofwalmart.com website!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Try baking soda and orange juice. Works probably in a similar way, but actually reduces pore size!
Use more baking soda. I’m telling you, this works. When I was about 13 I got poision ivy all over my entire body, even my face. My grandma mixed up some baking soda & milk (more baking soda than milk), & voila! Dried it right up AND made my acne go away significantly, including the blackheads. Been using it once a week ever since.
Might be important to say that I leave it on over night (it gets REALLY dry & hard) & then wipe it off with a wet rag in the morning. Makes your face a bit red at first but it goes away, especially if you then soak the rag in milk & lay it across your face.
[…] didn’t have much baking soda left, because I’ve used most of it for beauty treatments, but I made a batch with what I […]
You are hilarious and seem like an awesome person…i am not a creeper
DO NOT SCRUB YOUR FACE OFCOURSE IT WILL BURN JUST RINSE AND MASSAGE FOR 30 SECONDS GENTLY. IT DEFINITELY WORKS. IT ACTUALLY TAKES OFF OIL FROM YOUR SKIN AND DIRT AT THE SAME TIME. DO NOT FORGET TO MOISTURIZE YOUR FACE AFTER WASHING.
yo… its milk of magnesia…not actual milk… and you dont mix the two, its baking soda paste first then milk of magnesia by itself…
LMAO!
Thanks for these great and effective remedy, momdoc.com
I actually did baking soda + water (paste) as a mask on my face today. My goal was to exfoliate my face, as a side note I saw people mentioning fewer blackheads but I didn’t pay much attention to that because I’ve never had a blackhead remover work. To my surprise, it did! I could actually see way, way fewer blackheads on my nose and my face generally looked “fresh/glowing”. It seems that no one treatment works for everyone. I’ve definitely read other people mention that X treatment took off all their blackheads, tried it, and had no results. I guess you have to try a few things until you find the right solution for yourself. Like you though, I only try things that seem reasonable and that I already have in my pantry. I don’t think I’ll ever do any crazy face treatments like celebrities do: placenta, sperm, blood, etc. Good luck finding your solution!
EAR wax remover is blackhead magic, steam your face, apply the ear wax remover let it sit for 5 min. it will feel warm and tingly almost. then wipe off earwax remover with a tissue. You will already see a big difference. They will also be easier to get out at this point. If you don’t like ppinching your face or using an extractor you can just repeat this process to dissolve the blackheads over the course of a few days. After you extract or not, cleanse well and apply toner. I have done this and say that it works well and will noticeably reduce or diminish the amount and size of blackheads!!
Thanks! I’m totally going to try this! Yay…Sharing is Caring Julie 🙂 Is there a particular brand of ear wax remover you prefer? teehee, never thought I would utter those words!
[…] been a while since I’ve mixed pantry shit and rubbed it into my face, so I thought I’d give it another go. This one is a […]
Idk how I made it to 23 without knowing this, but what’s a blackhead? (I’m not even gonna ask if I have pores or not. Me and the mirror generally don’t see each other, and I am perfectly fine with that. It allows me to pretend I am thin and don’t have a single gray hair!)
The little black dots people tend to get around their nose/t-zone! Sort of like spots but, well, black! They don’t tend to be raised either.
Though milk in theory sounds like it’d work with the property of lactic acid it has, it’s really just extra than needed. Plan on baking soda works for me. However, if you do need an extra boost, citric acid with baking soda is the way to go. I recommend orange juice or lemon juice. Both add the extra bonus of skin lightening. Or, for something a little less harsh, and will leave your skin looking and feeling completely awesome, mixing it with honey, a natural antibacterial, not only cleans your face, but leaves it soft and feeling perfectly moisturized. It sounds like a messy crock of shit, but it’s actually really easy and comes off incredibly well with water.
I am surprised it didn’t work in a way if it stripped your nail polish off! It must be potent stuff. I thought perhaps the bicarb soda, which is alkaline, must react with the lactic acid in the milk (kinda like bicarb reacts with vinegar).
I’ve had some good progress with my blackheads, which really got bad for the first half of my current pregnancy due to severe sickness/dehydration. My skin wasn’t detoxing, and the dehydration didn’t help matters.
I’ll share what I have been doing…
First I started to hydrate again with orange juice, as it would stay down and I was craving it from 21 weeks pregnant. I still couldn’t have water but was chugging this 2L a day.
I started doing weekly face masks with bentonite clay and water which really brought congestion to the surface. My skin was borderline acne for a few weeks there and I was kind of scared about scarring…
I would steam my face over boiling water and then do a bentonite mask, or use Biorre pore cleansing strips. But I didn’t want to use them ongoing as some people say they can leave holes in the skin if you use them too regularly. Short term use only.
Then I started being able to drink icey cold purified water. So I have been having as much as that as I can handle and about 1.5 litres of the OJ per day still, but I started adding spirulina to my OJ (by the way it is fresh, pulpy OJ with no additives).
After a few bentonite clay masks and the crazy skin reaction from all the sebum coming to the surface, I let my skin rest a few weeks. Then I made a mask with a little bentonite clay, a little spirulina, a few drops of apple cider vinegar (to disinfect the skin but not much as it can be an irritant) and pure water to make a paste. This doesn’t cause my skin to break out anymore.
After I would do a soothing, moisturising mask of coconut oil and honey.
I occasionally rub my skin with bicarb soda, which I have just started using to alkalise my mouth too as tooth decay bacteria don’t like an alkaline environment.
I have been using Kora brand cleansing cream (Miranda Kerr’s mum’s brand).
I moisturise with a vegetable sorbolene cream with no petrochemicals, because I am too poor for expensive creams. I interchange that with a little smear of coconut oil. Most oils don’t absorb but coconut does because it contains short chain fatty acids like sebum. I read this cool article about dehydration and blackheads and it explained that unless you have a hormonal imbalance, sweat and sebum should flow freely and moisturise the skin, but when it gets dehydration from either internally or externally it hardens and turns into blackheads.
I also bought a pimple extractor with a little metal loop on one end which works well on my chin. My nose is still a little congested for my liking but in general I just noticed today, my skin is looking very clean.
The last two weeks I have been trying really hard to eat super naturally and all organic
I have not tolerated meat well at all this pregnancy, or dairy but in a way that is I think becoming in my favour skin wise now. My daily fare looks like this:
100% fresh OJ with spirulina 1.5L
Purified water 1L
A bowl of oats with no milk or coco quench and rapadura sugar, with banana and an organic apple chopped up on top
A piece of sprouted bread with avocado, salt and pepper
Pureed vegetables with salt and pepper
White rice with organic brocolli, silverbeet and tamari
An organic apple
A banana
Some roasted tempeh with grated turmeric and ginger
A banana
I’ve just started taking Methyl B12 as well.
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Solved this issue years ago. Ear wax remover. Because blackheads and earwax are the same material. You’ll see 50% gone instantly and 100% gone within 5 days as you do your usual cleansing and exfoliating processes. Done. Repeat again every 4 months or so.