Guys, sometimes you just have to phone it in. Today is the Monday after a weekend of two dinner parties at my house, one of them with pumpkin carving, one of them with birthday cake, and both of them with kids.
And, in true Pintester style, I fucked up almost everything I tried to make, bake, or cook for my family and friends. Good thing they love me anyway. There were even tears at one point. I had already ruined the birthday cake by forgetting to spray my bundt pan before I put the batter in. (I know, I know. I should have learned my lesson by now, but I just forgot.) So my mom and I devised a brilliant trifle so as not to waste the cake.
But, when it was time to cook dinner and I needed four cups of rice (rice, people– should be the easiest part of dinner not to fuck up), I decided to be all fancy like Alton Brown and sautee the rice first so it would be nice and fluffy… which works fine (I’ve even done it successfully in the past), unless you decide at the last minute that your rice and water aren’t all going to fit in the pan you’ve selected and you turn your back for one minute to wash the stock pot which you already boiled macaroni in and your rice burns all to hell in that one minute.
And then you burst into tears and throw the whole thing away and your mom and sister save the day again by running out to the store to buy bread instead. And your husband spends the next two hours scouring the rice pan that you fairly well ruined.
(He un-ruined it by the way, so today’s excuse for crippling guilt does not have to be that.)
So I am wiped the hell out, and decided to try something easy today.
Know what’s not so cute? Finding white chocolate chips at 10 a.m. when you have no bra on and your car keys are missing. So I improvised. I made regular hot chocolate and got out my food coloring.
Any bets as to how that went?
I went with the red food coloring first and got a color resembling oxblood.
Adding yellow did not help.
And at this point, I gave up, because the lesson I learned this weekend is that even if you fail, as long as people don’t leave hungry, you win.