Sorry, guys– no Cocknails post today, mostly because I am wearing sweatpants and no make-up and it’s a perfect day not to have my mug plastered all over the internets. I am, however, going to test a manicure thing I’ve seen on Pinterest. Basically, you spray wet nails with Pam to get them to dry super fast.
I set out to give it a go, so I started with a nice orange base and then left it like that instead of trying to ombre it or some shit.
I did this part while watching an episode from Season 4 of Mad Men on my laptop. If I’d been filming Cocknails, we could have done a drinking game wherein we get fuckin’ sloshed every time someone on the show gets so drunk or high that they:
- piss their pants
- pass out
- black out
- have poor-judgment sex
- attempt to take a shit on a piece of furniture other than a toilet
Alas, you’ll have to play that one on your own.
I skipped the top coat because I use Seche Vite, which is a quick-drying top coat, and I didn’t want to skew the results. I’m scientifical like that, yo.
And then I sprayed. It was fun.
I will tell you that when I wiped off the Pam, the nail polish really did feel dry on the top. I even did the test where you rub two nails together to see if your polish is still tacky or not, and it wasn’t even a little bit tacky.
However, I did run into problems. When I went to dry my hands, I pressed a little too hard in the towel and got the towel pattern in my nails. So my theory is that while the top layer dried nicely, the lower layers remained wet and squishy, thus creating a manicure tectonics problem that resulted in denting.
Don’t worry, though, I fixed it with my favorite unconventional manicure technique: If you get a dent, lick your nail (yes, lick it) and then gently smooth out the polish with your finger. It totally works. (I may die of ingesting formaldehyde or something, but hey, my nails will look great.)
So, in conclusion, I think this technique would probably help in a situation like my poor smudgy scary eyeballs manicure, but it won’t allow you to do super-human things like unzip your jeans immediately after you finish painting your nails.
Miracle cure? Maybe not, but it sort of works. We strive for mediocrity here. Stamp of approval.
I use Seche Vite as well. This is useless to me. However, that fix a dent trick is intriguing.
I never considered a toilet a piece of furniture….until now. I learned something new today.
Digging the way you’re gripping that can of Pam.
This may be the first pin where you follow the directions completely and also use no substitutions. I’m not sure how I feel about that…
This was hilarious, thank you for that. After several times of doing the lick a nail trick to fix a dent I found that you can lick your finger tip, get it all spitty you can then use that to smooth it out. I hope this saves you from tongue cancer.
I tried this last night, how crazy is it that you post about it today! I had the same issues as you… I think I will keep doing it though cause, yes, it kinda sorta worked and that is better then not working at all!
“Manicure tectonics” is one of my new favorite phrases. Thank you.
Oh, my god! I’m not the only person who licks my nails to fix dents!
Uh, yeah. I want a shirt that says: I’m scientifical like that, yo.
oh thank goodness a new way to dry my nails! my husaband calls the walking/flpping thing you do to dry nails the “mating” dance and decides its time to hump. a lot. Pam is a baby stopper!
oh thank goodness a new way to dry my nails! My husband calls the flapping/walking thing i do to dry my nails a “mating” dance and decides to hump. A lot. Pam is my new sex control!!
JoAnnaMarieWaddoups AND Pam makes a great lube.
Your picture totally looks batter than the original.
Your picture totally looks better than the original.
I’ve never heard of this licking nail fix thing. I am very curious to try it. I’m hoping it will have some strange side effect to cure my psoriatic arthritis, and then I will be able to sell it to my peeps and make a shit ton of money! I’ll think about giving you credit and a kick back for the idea.
You gotta make your own pin that shows you licking the paint off of your fingernails. “How to fix your manicure and eat formaldehyde at the same time!”
Try using cold water to dry your nails, it actually works. Fill a bowl with cold water and a couple ice cubes and leave your nails in the water for about 3 minutes and your nails will be dry. I do it all the time.
CaitlinCrane I use that too but my fingers get to cold
i just did that and my nails smudged drying them off.
So seriously I am pissed that the squatty potty people fixed their ad. I had fun making fun of it and invisioning someone falling in a toilet.
seriously I am pissed that the squatty potty people fixed their ad. I enjoyed invisioning people falling in their toilets. Also it madee me feel smarticul.
My husband was reading over my shoulder…from the couch ten feet away…and wanted to know why you were giving the can of Pam a hand job. 🙂
Let me get this straight…
Pam won’t keep your muffins from sticking in the pan, but it jet dries nail polish?
I never go for those “quick dry” things. Sure, your nails are dry, but they aren’t set, and I’ve yet to come across any miracle “quick set” solution. THAT would be worth something though. Whoever comes up with that one is sure to quickly become filthy rich.
You should try sensationail. It literally sets your nails in 3 minutes, all you have to do is rub your nails with rubbing alcohol and voila! You really can zip your jeans right after painting your nails!
Instead of licking your actual nail, you Rocket Scientist you, try licking the pad of another finger. Liberally apply saliva to said finger and then smoodge the slobber on the smudged paint to smooth out the oopsie. Works better than licking paint. A for effort though.
i do the lick thing too
I use spot to smooth out messd up places too! Totally works. You holding the Pam like the pins with nail polish cracked me up!
Spit not spot!
I’d like to know who the person is that said “hey, I just painted my nails…let me spray some Pam on them and see what happens!”
Really?! How do people come up with this stuff!?
yes, but can it paint the nails on my right hand for me? no? balls.
[…] want to thank you guys for all your help with my future manicures. arklorres This was hilarious, thank you for that. After several times of doing the lick a nail […]
manicure tectonics. I am amused at this phraseology. You are a real writer now!
You can dip your nails in ice water and get the same results, dry on top, but not dry through. And your hands won’t be all greasy. I learned that in a teen magazine a long time ago, but didn’t do it after the first time, because it didn’t make it all instantly set. Also, my hands get cold by themselves.
[…] Cooking Spray Manicure Setter […]
Can you spray Pam after each coat? so the bottom layers are dry just as fast?
You’re not supposed to have any layer (except the top when it’s done) be greasy or oily in any way because the paint chips off extremely easy.
You can also just dip them in cold water.
I was in Asia over Christmas, and my sisters and I all had our nails done. At the end of the manicure, although they had used weak little heat lamps on our nails, they used hairspray on our nails which seemed to work like a charm. Also, if you happen to mess up your fresh nail polish like you did with the towel, an easy fix is to lick it a few times to smooth it out. It’s not particularly pleasant, but it works! I actually discovered this on Pinterest and it really works well.
Most nail polish manufacturers don’t add formaldehyde anymore…it was the DBP that was more risky… There is a product for smoothing out nail smudges but I usually try to mush the polish back into shape with another nail…
I lick my nails when they get “dents” too. Only I use my tongue, not a finger, to really smooth them back out. 😀
Same here 🙂
Instead of licking your nail, lick your finger & swipe it over the smudge.
I’ve wondered about that Pam tip. I got some quick dry stuff from Sally Hansen that I’ve had the same type of results with. It seems like some kind of oil you drip on your nails.
This doesn’t work because you’re essentially making the surface of the nail slippery to prevent against light smudging. Notice that if you spray the pam you can run your fingers LIGHTLY over your nail, but it’ll still dent and smudge if you press on it, or sit on it, or wack your hand against something.
Instead of using your tongue or licking your finger to smooth out the polish, a faster method is to put a little nail polish remover on your finger, lightly go over the smudge and it’ll smooth right out, unless it’s bad.
you did this wrong! you used the wrong type of cooking spray! and the wrong type of nail polish! why do you insist on doing everything half-assed! and i don’t approve of your language![bitch-bitch-bitch-whine-complain-moan-bitch-groan-argh!]
You can also just dip them in cold water.