Sorry, guys– no Cocknails post today, mostly because I am wearing sweatpants and no make-up and it’s a perfect day not to have my mug plastered all over the internets. I am, however, going to test a manicure thing I’ve seen on Pinterest. Basically, you spray wet nails with Pam to get them to dry super fast.
I set out to give it a go, so I started with a nice orange base and then left it like that instead of trying to ombre it or some shit.
I did this part while watching an episode from Season 4 of Mad Men on my laptop. If I’d been filming Cocknails, we could have done a drinking game wherein we get fuckin’ sloshed every time someone on the show gets so drunk or high that they:
- piss their pants
- pass out
- black out
- have poor-judgment sex
- attempt to take a shit on a piece of furniture other than a toilet
Alas, you’ll have to play that one on your own.
I skipped the top coat because I use Seche Vite, which is a quick-drying top coat, and I didn’t want to skew the results. I’m scientifical like that, yo.
And then I sprayed. It was fun.
I will tell you that when I wiped off the Pam, the nail polish really did feel dry on the top. I even did the test where you rub two nails together to see if your polish is still tacky or not, and it wasn’t even a little bit tacky.
However, I did run into problems. When I went to dry my hands, I pressed a little too hard in the towel and got the towel pattern in my nails. So my theory is that while the top layer dried nicely, the lower layers remained wet and squishy, thus creating a manicure tectonics problem that resulted in denting.
Don’t worry, though, I fixed it with my favorite unconventional manicure technique: If you get a dent, lick your nail (yes, lick it) and then gently smooth out the polish with your finger. It totally works. (I may die of ingesting formaldehyde or something, but hey, my nails will look great.)
So, in conclusion, I think this technique would probably help in a situation like my poor smudgy scary eyeballs manicure, but it won’t allow you to do super-human things like unzip your jeans immediately after you finish painting your nails.
Miracle cure? Maybe not, but it sort of works. We strive for mediocrity here. Stamp of approval.