Creamy Chicken & Noodles

0 Posted by - November 7, 2012 - Food & Drink

Do you all know what I mean when I say “butt-ass cold?” I’m never sure, because I picked up that particular expression from an Army guy, and you never know with Army guys. I gather there are a lot of expressions that don’t translate well.

Anyway, when I say “butt-ass cold,” I mean cold. Cold like witch tits. Cold like your dog’s slimy nose. Cold like– dare I say– your naked ass. Hence, butt-ass cold, I guess.

In any case, it has been butt-ass cold here lately, and I do mean the kind where you turn on the heat and wear a jacket and stuff. So crockpot soup is perfect. Warms the cockles of your heart, and hopefully your cold ass, too.

Image from Going Jane

As usual, ease of preparation was what attracted me to this recipe. And, as usual, I came up lacking in the ingredients department. I tried, though. I swear I almost even asked one of the pimply grocery store employees to help me find frozen egg noodles, but by then my cart was full of refrigerated items slowly going rancid as I wandered the frozen food aisle, so I said “fuck it” and bought a dry bag.

I actually bought two dry bags. But the picture looked better with just one of them.

I threw it all in and fired up my trusty crockpot.

The awesome thing about crockpot dinners is that no one expects them to be beautiful. I don’t panic when the recipe looks like this when I turn it on. I have faith that it will all melt into a brownish soupy mush no matter what I start with.

For this recipe, you wait to add the noodles until just before you want to eat. So when supper time came around, I opened up the crockpot and dumped in a bag of noodles. And then that didn’t look like enough noodles and I didn’t know what the hell else I was going to do with an extra bag of dry egg noodles, so I dumped the other bag in, too.

This is about where I began to lose faith.

But, I’ll tell you what, my crockpot rarely fails me (although when it does, it’s spectacular) and in this case, the noodles cooked as per expected and I ended up with masses and masses of noodle not-really-soup. It was mostly noodle. Sort of like a macaroni casserole or something. Except “casserole” is a dirty word at my house, so we don’t call it that. (We can call it “delicious fucking noodles,” but if you bandy about the word “casserole,” certain parties get offended.)

I do admit, it tasted pretty good, the first 6 or 7 meals that I ate it. After that, I threw out fully half of it because I was so damn tired of egg noodles.

So, a word to the wise here: Unless you are cooking this for company or your family eats as much as an army (and we’re back to “butt-ass cold,” ya like that?), then don’t use two bags of egg noodles.


  • kittenlamieux November 7, 2012 - 8:52 am Reply

    I liked how you used cockles and ass in the same sentence. Your concoction does look delicious!  I am going to follow your lead and try the two bag of noodles method, I like a hearty noodle-y thingy.  I am probably going to toss some tarragon in there and some carrots for good measure.  This looks really easy to portion out and freeze for lunches.

  • anchesson November 7, 2012 - 8:52 am Reply

    Just in time for the NorEastern!

  • thingie November 7, 2012 - 9:47 am Reply

    I think with enough ketchup you can hold on another couple of weeks on that stuff.

  • BeckyMoore November 7, 2012 - 10:27 am Reply

    Your dish looks WAY better than the source. I’d eat with you (on this one) every time!

  • JoyLuVasquez November 7, 2012 - 10:52 am Reply

    I reacently made something similar and I thought I was being creative! Except my egg noodles were severely lacking so like the good little Betty Crocker I am, I made dumplings…. and then it was Dumplings, egg noodles and if you’re lucky some chicken and broth….. And then the person I am maried to forgot to put the “soup” away when I was rushing out the door to a meeting I was very late for, so I came home to a pot o’mush.

  • CBBoo November 7, 2012 - 2:12 pm Reply

    The “C-Word” is also not allowed in my house. I usually call them “surprises” as in Chicken and Noodle Surprise, or Chicken, Rice, Mushrooms and Whatever-Condensed-Soup-that’s-In-The-Cupboard Surprise…. But I do agree 100% that “Delicious Fucking-“Anything adds so much more to any dish! I am a little worried that 7 year old would go to school the next day bragging about the “Fucking Delicious chicken dish” his mom made the night before….

  • Truffles8761 November 7, 2012 - 6:57 pm Reply

    This actually looks pretty good and is making my mouth water.  Don’t know about butt-ass and cockles, but I’ll take those noodles (with some fava beans and a  nice Chianti).

  • naiadknight November 7, 2012 - 8:07 pm Reply

    Casseroles don’t exist here either.  They’re Somethings.  Italian Something, Chicken Fajita Something, Squash something… You get the idea.  Then again, it’s also known as “That really fucking awesome dinner [naiad] made.  Can we have it again?”

  • Libby in WI November 7, 2012 - 9:22 pm Reply

    Up north in WI we call them hotdishes.  And we eat them with paired with peanut butter on bread and jello.  Don’t ask it’s a midwestern thing (I know how weird we are)!  So no ugly casseroles, just a nice hotdish to eat.

  • Libby in WI November 7, 2012 - 9:22 pm Reply

    Up north in WI we call them hotdishes.  And we eat them paired with peanut butter on bread and jello.  Don’t ask it’s a midwestern thing (I know how weird we are)!  So no ugly casseroles, just a nice hotdish to eat.

  • ErinBerube November 7, 2012 - 9:22 pm Reply

    I did the same thing with too much rice in my soup…. the result was about 30 servings of chicken flavoured rice pudding.

  • DreadPirateRachel November 7, 2012 - 9:27 pm Reply

    Your version looks much better. Are you feeling okay?

  • knt41281 November 7, 2012 - 11:02 pm Reply

    i’m so appreciative that you are bringing back to word cockles…i’m a firm believer in anything that starts with “cock-:  naturally.   also, she speaks the truth.  it has, in fact, been butt ass cold here in NC

  • kristin78 November 8, 2012 - 6:27 am Reply

    Made this tonight for dinner!  Everyone went back for 2nds so very little leftover.  Which is good & bad.  I also had to improvise as egg noodles & condensed soups are hard to find at reasonable prices in Shanghai.  And it’s been butt-ass cold and rainy here as well!

  • lisamfabry November 8, 2012 - 8:52 am Reply

    I’m usually too lazy to comment becasue I subscribe via email so I read about your adventures at work in sneaky, “Oh, just checking my email….” land.     It was the cockles that gave me the balls (heh..) to come over to the wide open website world to say Thanks!  I will be making this soon and you rock and thanks for being awesome.  Oh and you inspired me to continue my own blog using my own ‘voice’ instead of a PC sweet old lady, so yeah, there is that. 
    Lisa Fabry
    (Shameless self promo…

    • Truffles8761 November 8, 2012 - 3:07 pm Reply

      lisamfabry Shameless is best.  I can respect shameless.

      • lisamfabry November 8, 2012 - 4:12 pm Reply

        Thanks!!  (The Billy Joel version is the best, in my opnion.)

  • tyntiff2012 November 8, 2012 - 9:22 am Reply

    Well I live in North Dakota where ‘Butt-Ass Cold’ is an actual season here. In fact the longest one we have! We only have 2 seasons, Butt-Ass Cold and Holy Fuck its Hot. Your non Casserole casserole looks yummy and I will have to check this out!

    • JoyLuVasquez November 8, 2012 - 9:52 am Reply

      tyntiff2012  Another Nort Dakotan! Excitement doesn’t even begin to cover it!!!! Way to represent the German Tundra!!!

    • jenelle_w November 8, 2012 - 4:07 pm Reply

      tyntiff2012  Well, I’m in South Dakota…But I still got excited when I saw North Dakota. We’re a rare breed. At least in South Dakota we get one week of fall and one week of spring!

    • Jennifer M. Engh February 27, 2013 - 3:04 am Reply

      Holy hell, I was born and raised in North Dakota. Pretty damn cool, I’ll say!

  • Googtoyou November 8, 2012 - 11:09 pm Reply

    I learned the phrase butt-ass cold while I was in the Air Force. Other terms used to describe the temperature that I learned while in the military included ‘colder than a witches tit in a cast iron bra’ (I was stationed in North Dakota) and ‘hotter than Satan’s ass crack’ (heard that one in Missouri).

  • TiffanyG4409 November 10, 2012 - 1:10 am Reply

    Well Its not exactly butt ass cold here in oklahoma yet.. but I had just saved this recipe onto my boards so now im excited to eat a bowl of noddles.. 😉

  • demandalynn November 10, 2012 - 5:10 am Reply

    It never gets butt ass cold here in Dubai, but we still long for warm, yummy, crockpot dishes to further warm our already hot cockles.  Your version looks even tastier than the original pin, which gives me hope that even I could prepare this dish without fucking it up too much (coming from a girl who burned water)!!  Thanks for the inspiration!!

  • Kara Robson December 20, 2012 - 7:41 pm Reply

    Looks like a good “freezer-meal” I might have to try it this weekend since we got snow and I have been butt-ass cold all week!

  • Bethy Jigglepants December 24, 2012 - 12:03 am Reply

    it’s interesting that you said “butt ass cold” and mentioned picking it up from an army guy. I’ve been saying that for years and remember picking it up from an army guy. Maybe “fucked up words to use around civilians” is some sort of training they go through.

  • Jessi Torres January 31, 2013 - 10:37 am Reply

    This particular recipe has become a favorite in my house, especially after I started adding some frozen peas at the same time that I add the noodles. Mmmmm

  • Sabine February 4, 2013 - 8:01 pm Reply

    in germany we say “arschkalt” to “butt-ass-cold”. maybe that’s where the army guy picked it up 🙂

  • baconexpress February 11, 2013 - 12:42 am Reply

    I see this sentiment all over the internet for some reason – what’s wrong with casseroles?? I don’t understand the uppitiness.

  • Meghan October 10, 2013 - 6:52 pm Reply

    Since you used more noodles than expected is that why it came out less like soup and more like casserole? If I am only going to use one bag of noodles should I cut the other ingrediants in half?

  • ThetaSigma October 20, 2013 - 7:44 pm Reply

    I’m picturing someone warming up their frozen ass by plopping it in the crockpot. It made me smile (which I desperately needed!)

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