I need to start by telling you my heart is broken for the families in Connecticut who suffered such great loss today. We all struggle with knowing what to do or say when tragedy strikes like this. I’m still posting this today because I think that laughter is good and right, and it happens even in the midst of all the bad stuff that goes on in the world. Please be kind to each other, hug someone, laugh with someone– in honor of those we’ve lost.
Cookies are as much a part of Christmas as– like– Christmas trees. You just can’t have Christmas without cookies. And not just any cookies, either. Homemade fuckin’ cookies. So I decided to make some today, and the winners were these cuties from Bakergirl.
All was going well, people. I got out and measured all my ingredients, put the dry ingredients aside, and was creaming together the wet ingredients when I realized (DUN DUN DUN) we were out of eggs.
Luckily, I have Google on my phone, and a quick search turned up many egg substitutions. I decided to try vinegar and baking soda, because those were two things I had in the house.
When I mixed them together and added them to my dough, I am pleased to report that they made a science-experimenty explosion/fizz. It’s as close to blowing up the kitchen during a pin test as I’ve ever come, really. I had forgotten until I mixed them together, but in case you don’t know, vinegar and baking soda are the ingredients in the infamous UfYH drain volcano. And I put that shit in my cookies, y’all.
It all came together pretty well.
I was fairly optimistic as I formed my cookies and got ready to bake them. And they really didn’t look bad when they came out, either, except for being less smooth than the pinned cookies.
But, here’s where I ran into problems. It’s true, I usually run into problems about here: the step in which you have completed the easy part, but the cool part/decorating is yet to be done.
I have theories on why things didn’t work out:
- I didn’t use an egg. This seems an easy thing to blame everything on, so I will.
- I did not have mini brown M&Ms. The plan was to use regular brown M&Ms, but then I messed up and bought Christmas M&Ms and had a grand total of two color choices: red and green.
- My chocolate pretzels were too big.
- I baked the cookies too long and/or did not make them big enough.
Any of these could conceivably be to blame. Or we could just call this what it is: a fail because someone who should probably never attempt to make cookies any more complicated than no-bake oatmeal balls attempted to make holiday-themed, decorated, full-on Christmas cookies. Yeah, this one’s on me.
I wish you better luck with your Christmas cookies.
That reindeer looks possessed, I have to be honest.
I’d of licked the m’s off.
Did your M’s actually stay on? Ours fell off as soon as you picked up a cookie.
Radioactive reindeer is a thing. Serious.Or it is now, anyway.
They’re actually pretty cute. How did they taste?
The first thing I thought of when I seen your before/after photo is Before: This is what Reindeer look like in the North Pole. After: This is what Reindeer look like in the North Pole on CRACK! Don’t do drugs kids, Santa won’t come.
Actually, those are pretty cute. I’m kind of dissapointed. Maybe make them with those apple smiles next time. And use the red m&ms for eyes. Then we’d have some reindeer pet cemetery shit going on.
Eh. I’ve seen a lot worse. Hell I think I’ve seen a lot worse HERE. LOlIMO those aren’t a complete fail. Somebody did ask how they taste though. ???
HAHAHA…It looks like you dropped some M&Ms and chocolate covered pretzels on your cookie!
Zombie reindeer cookie?!
I had a great day, then a shitty day, then back to great – then I heard about the CT tragedy. Then I read this blog and got a chuckle out of it. So thank you, Pintester. For the smiles.
The original pinned ones are so cute! And yours…well yours are…yours.
But they probably tasted fucking delish so who care!
Praying for the CT victims & families…
And by “who care” I clearly mean who careS so get off my fucking back, would ya?
Now I just want to mix vinegar and baking soda together and see how big of a mess I can make. My huband has the “man flu” which is way worse than my flu apparently. I can make the mess and then tell him I’m much too sick to clean it up.
They look like little reindeer aliens, adorable! I’m sure you can sell them to your nieces/nephews as superhero-reindeer-alien-cookies and they’ll love them
It’s not a fail! You did great!!
These are more like Zombie Reindeer Cookies. I think it’s appropriate considering the 21st of December is supposed to be the end. If they taste great it doesn’t matter. They all look the same coming out.
Valleygurlie916 Good point. And on that scary note, I told my 5-year-old that she was a zombie and she did a perfect impression, including telling me she was going to eat my brains…I swear we have never let them watch anything zombie-related, so I about died! Zombies are taking over!
You just created a bunch of possessed high school-aged reindeer. (Faces all cracked and broken out.)
How did they taste?
Those are amazing! Stoner reindeer cookies – perfect!
Holy shit, I almost peed my pants when I saw your finished product. My husband started a little, looked a little like your cookie.
Holy crap I almost peed a little when I saw the finished product. My husband laughed so hard he sharted in the shape of a reindeer!
Yours look better than the picture….Heck if they taste any good feed them to the hobo across the street…Its Christmas time! Add some apples smiles and the kids might go running to the hills
omg. this was hilarious. Thank you!
It’s like they’re staring at me with their beady green eyes…
It’s NYE and I’m staying up reading this with tears rolling down my eyes (laughing) readingyour pathetic attempts to replay these pins that seem so simple. You are soooooo funny!!! You’re screw ups bring valuable entertainment to the world!!!! it’s so great to know I’m not the only one for whom these pins don’t pan out!!
I kept my composer… until I saw the finished product. HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I made these and they turned out good, but I had to make them big enough that they chocolate pretzels weren’t too huge. Also I literally stood at the bulk food bin picking out just the brown mini M&ms (using the scoop) for 30 minutes
I’ve downloaded the “before and after’ pictures of the Reindeer cookies. I am going to hang them on my wall, and when I need a reminder to lighten-the-hell-up I’m going to look at them and laugh myself silly again…just like I’m doing now. You are a delight. Keep up the great work!
Oh My Effin Gosh! My child is looking at me like I have lost my marbles because I am laughing so hard. Not to mention, I’m sitting here with my legs mashed tightly together because at any moment, a dribble of pee will escape. This has truly made my night.
Hey dude, try this: I keep a small sack of soy flour around – it’s a little expensive and sounds like some hippie shit, but it lasts forever (hence, worth the money) and you can replace an egg in baked goods with one “heaping” tablespoon of soy flour and a tablespoon of water. Hasn’t wronged me yet. And I forget to buy eggs all. the. time.
this reminds me of the time I made (small) gingerbread boys and girls for my daughter’s pre-k class. I told hubby to pick up some mini m&m’s for the buttons. He claims he couldn’t find any mini sized one, so he bought regular sized m&ms. It was too late for me to go out and get the right size m&m’s; I had no choice but to use the regular m&ms. My gingerbread girls ended up looking they had boobies (instead of buttons on their aprons). Thanks for the laugh 🙂
Yours look better. The “proper” ones look sad and lifeless…
In your defense, I tried this exact same recipe but followed it to the letter and mine failed just as much. I couldn’t get anything to actually stick to the damn cookies. epic fail.
Oh, come on you’re not even trying! At least turn the m&m over so you don’t see the logo! (I learned this the hard way myself with my wonky panda cupcakes – don’t ask)
At least you could not use green m&m’s for the eyes, your rendeers look crazy and passed out….I agree with Suzie….you’re not even trying!
[…] guys all made fun of me last time I substituted baking soda and vinegar for eggs in a recipe, but HA. This recipe is doing it on purpose. I feel smart […]
I made the recipe as well and found it definitely wasn’t the same as the picture, however they didn’t necessarily turn into an epic fail. I would say that they should have mentioned add the eyes nose and choc. pretzels after 6-7 minutes of cooking, then immediately put the reindeer in the fridge once all pieces are on there to stop the cooking and let the melted chocolate turn into a glue.