If vacuuming drunk isn’t a thing, it’s about to be, because it’s 2:30, my chores aren’t done, and I just tested this motherfucker:
I had to. It’s my job, guys.
It’s a bourbon chocolate milkshake. Not a chocolate bourbon milkshake. The bourbon is definitely the first ingredient.
For this test, I had to get out my brand spankin’ new never-been-used-before blender.
I bought that thing specifically so that I could have smoothies for breakfast like Jenna Marbles. I bought it months ago. No smoothie has been had for breakfast. And I do not look like Jenna Marbles yet, either.
The cool thing about this blender is that you blend your stuff and then you drink it right out of the thing you blended it in. Genius.
Also, the recipe said to use vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup, but fuck that shit. When I make a chocolate shake, I use chocolate ice cream, bitches, cuz that’s how I roll.
(My short stint on the military diet scarred me and I still feel the need to measure everything to make sure it’s exactly a cup or a half a cup or whatever.)
It also calls for 2 ounces of bourbon.
Now I’m no chemist, but that is a ratio that makes me all warm inside.
Will it blend?
Indeed, it will.
Although I may have been a little over-zealous on the blending because it got sort of soupy…
And you remember how I said that ratio made me all warm inside? Well, drinking this made me all warm inside too, in that alcohol sort of way. Also cool inside because of the ice cream. It was very confusing, really. But I enjoyed it greatly. It’s like 90 fuckin’ degrees here and I still have to clean 2 bathrooms and vacuum the whole house, so I might just make me another one a’ deeze.
And, yeah, I drank it out of the blender cup like a badass. This way everyone just thinks it’s a health drink, right?