Star Trek Into Darkness Not-Review

1 Posted by - May 22, 2013 - Videos

I don’t review movies here, guys, so this isn’t a review. It’s a re-enactment of what I did in the movie theater, no joke. Never take me to the movies. (If you can’t see the video, click here!)

Watch the premiere of “Graceland” on USA on June 6:

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  • Kari Hemba May 22, 2013 - 9:11 am Reply

    Love your reactions! As for the dog bark–I once gave a phone interview in my bathroom with my dog barking nonstop on the other side for the entire thing!

  • Rebecca Jo May 22, 2013 - 9:17 am Reply

    The dog & the end is the best part 🙂 I laughed till I cried…
    You think you’re bad, you shoulda gone to the movies with me to see Les Miserables… Yes, dramatic arm movements while singing in my seat… if I got a look, I’d just sing louder.
    That’s why I paid my $16 – it’s MY movie 🙂

    • JennyW May 22, 2013 - 11:57 am Reply

      Then, unless you went to a special singalong showing, you are an arsehole. Seriously. If you want to sing and wave your arms around, wait until you’re at home with a DVD, instead of ruining the film for everyone else who paid THEIR $16, too, and had to put up with you.

      • whiskeygirl7 May 22, 2013 - 6:16 pm Reply

        I do agree! But I have to say that one of my fave movie experiences is when they re-released Lion King and a group of us went. We started singing along under our breaths to I’m gonna be a mighty king…when we realized that the group next to us was singing. Then the little kids started joining in and by the time we were done i think just about the whole theater had participated in the impromptu sing along! It was awesome 😀

  • ThatBrunette May 22, 2013 - 9:19 am Reply

    Husband and I were the only ones laughing at the “Khan!!!!!” line. We needed you in our theatre. I also got excited when they mentioned ‘the Mudd incident’.

    To go full-on geek, the words should have been sung with the theme song at the end. That is hard-core fan!

  • Rosey Cheeks! May 22, 2013 - 10:21 am Reply

    My bestie and I go to see the Twilight series and she’s killer, kinda like you only bleached blonde with black streaks, she laughs, ooohhs ahhhs, cries and pokes me in the eye so I cry too. *smh* WOMEN!

  • Beth Caudill May 22, 2013 - 11:42 am Reply

    You forgot to mention guessing the plot points before they happen because its way too obvious when you’ve seen the original Khan and all the trailers show the differences.

    Did you do a count of the Red Shirts dying or is that only for the drinking game?

    • Pintester May 22, 2013 - 11:44 am Reply

      I did guess a good number of the plot points, which made me sort of sad. Guess that’s a drawback of being a nerd.

  • Joy Lu Vasquez May 22, 2013 - 11:51 am Reply

    MY husband and I can’t go to horror movies anymore…. He said something ridiculous during one and I ended up laughing when the people got killed……

  • Sandi Boyd May 22, 2013 - 12:21 pm Reply

    I’m home with my 4-year-old, and I wasn’t sure what kind of language to expect…okay, I was…so I had the volume waaay down and the captions on. The ONLY caption that made any sense at all? “No animals were harmed during the making of this video.” HIlarious! I would go to the movies with you anyday – you’re my kinda reactionary!

  • Amanda England May 22, 2013 - 1:06 pm Reply

    Sounds like you’d fit right in with our bunch, actually. Big ol’ reactionary geeks all around. I wanted to go see the movie for my birthday, but alas, bills and a dead car won out this time. Netflix months down the road it is.

    I feel for you about the dog being noisy when filming. I’ve two kids under seven, so filming anything not featuring them takes forever, especially since both are camera hogs.

  • Jasi Lee May 22, 2013 - 4:08 pm Reply

    i’m banned from first time viewings of action movies now. i ask too many questions about the validity of both the story line and the technology. likewise, hubs is banned from any theater viewings of relationship movies. he likes them as much as i like action (which is a lot actually), but i can’t take the rhetorical “Is she really going to take him back again?” or “Is this how women really think?” or “Are you all nuts?” yeah, we’re both fun.

  • Rosa Cleary May 22, 2013 - 4:08 pm Reply

    I am like that watching game of thrones every freaking week. lucky that a) The neighbours haven’t called someone about my screaming/yelling/pffffting/swearing b) I haven’t thrown a shoe at the screen yet… YET c) google police haven’t knocked down my door yet for searching about a certain penis torture scene that may or may not happen O_O

    It’s entertainment within entertainment though, people like you at the movie theatre make me think.. she’s into it. You should have seen us cool kids back-in-the-day watching Romeo & Juliet at our local theatre with MONO sound…. when leo first came on the screen, the gals squealed and hollered and whistled, it was like a rocky horror viewing, just less toast and fishnets.

    Your blog rocks.

  • AlyssaLynn May 22, 2013 - 9:37 pm Reply

    i saw into darkness with my mom….who is a big trekkie (i think thats how you spell it)…afterwards while she was driving she took a turn and suddenly yelled “KHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN” SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!

  • Stephanie Cirillo May 22, 2013 - 10:17 pm Reply

    I LOVE when the dog makes an appearance in your videos!

  • Me May 23, 2013 - 12:07 am Reply

    Wasn’t the tagline…”fucking up pinterest pins so you don’t have to”? What happened to the F bomb?

  • Kyle Chalmers May 23, 2013 - 4:11 pm Reply

    What’s up with the cut out swearing in the video?! The lack of the use of the word Fuck upsets meee!!! I like the way you say it! 😀

  • MotorCityMich May 23, 2013 - 5:26 pm Reply

    Oh, it was pretty much the same with me when I dragged my non-Trekkie husband to see it on Sunday. Also, I’m a huge Cumberbatch/Sherlock fan… so it added to hubby’s enjoyment on that level too.

    I loved all the references… and I was the only one who cracked up at the “KAHHHHHHNNNNNNN” line, but I don’t care. It was freakin’ hilarious!

    and poor Chekov and the shirt change?? GENIUS!

    But mostly Cumberbatch in a Star Fleet uniform. Sweet.

    Definitely Cumberbatch in a Star Fleet uniform…

    and Simon Pegg who is hilarious

    There was nothing un-wonderful about this movie!

  • kfed May 23, 2013 - 8:37 pm Reply

    Wow, censoring? Really? You said your content wouldn’t change, only the tagline. Dissapointing.

    • Pintester May 24, 2013 - 2:06 pm Reply

      The censoring was part of the joke… because I used Star Trek noises. Get it? Get it? Ah nevermind…

    • Renlish May 24, 2013 - 7:57 pm Reply

      Point. Missed. *sigh*

    • Ccpistolcc May 30, 2013 - 12:09 am Reply

      She censored the word hole. Ass was loud and clear. Whatever, made me giggle.

  • Carolyn Kelly May 24, 2013 - 4:27 am Reply

    Totally got to see it for free. I work in a movie theater and them’s the perks.
    Also I’m glad someone else’s dog does that too. Mine shuts up if you turn a tv on for him somewhere though, turns out my dog is a lot like a small child, but you can’t crate a small child at night so he doesn’t jump in the bed with you at an awkward moment.

  • Toshia May 24, 2013 - 4:42 pm Reply

    Now you know how the other people in the theater felt because of your dog being noisy, lol I am totally a reactor too though which is why I don’t go to movies that much, it’s better to be loud at home.

  • Joanna Likness Pendleton May 25, 2013 - 8:27 am Reply

    Neve says, “Oh! I hear doggie!”

  • Meghan May 26, 2013 - 6:07 pm Reply

    You are too cute!

  • Quincy May 27, 2013 - 3:50 pm Reply

    Omg, you’re a Whovian? Shit, I love you even more now.

  • Guest June 1, 2013 - 1:35 am Reply

    1) I’m with you all the way. It was awesome. When I was 12 and the only person in school who liked Star Trek also used to talk to his boogers, I never would have imagined I’d say that.

    2) Your blog is freaking great. I’m proud to have known you from the Xanga days. 🙂

    • Jon Hartley June 1, 2013 - 1:40 am Reply

      That was me, by the way. “Guest” is one of my many pseudonyms.

      • Pintester June 1, 2013 - 11:42 am Reply

        Hi Jon! I feel like this deserves a *tackle hug* for old time’s sake. 🙂 Plus, your comment made me laugh. I don’t THINK I never talked to my boogers, but I admit to being a strange child…

  • Pickle June 2, 2013 - 4:24 am Reply

    I have just now discovered your amazing blog and now I wish you were my neighbor. Sadly, I live in Utah. (Don’t even get me started.) I must say I’m super thrilled that you recognized Mickey from Doctor Who, but please tell me you know the sheer brilliance of Simon Pegg outside of Star Trek and Mission:Impossible! Spaced or Shawn of the Dead or Hot Fuzz?

  • veggiecrocker June 4, 2013 - 1:20 pm Reply

    I knew we were kindred spirits. I also did the frantic handwave thing accompanied by squealing at every quintessential trekkie homage moment.

  • V Bogert June 17, 2013 - 3:49 pm Reply

    Awesome! I do the same thing in movies. My husband and I do not go with friends.. ever… I drive them nuts especially if I have read the book first. In this movie there was a lot of ducking and “OMG” and “kill him already” moments. Trek is by far my fave. Watched the reruns with my Dad religiously when I was 5. I was the kid that beamed up her toys on the playground alone.. because the other kids just didn’t get the awesome that is Trek.

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