Crisco Candle

3 Posted by - September 18, 2013 - DIY & Crafts

I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not lighting things on fire just to pander to the wishes of the general public. People love it when I burn things. Preferably when I burn things and then freak out about it. There is some freaking out in this video, although it’s a little more subtle than past freak-outs… (If you can’t see the video, click here!)

These are the original instructions. Go forth and ignite things.

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  • DigitalChick September 18, 2013 - 6:32 pm Reply

    Ummmm… why not just use a candle?
    “A terrible lesbian experience.” Hahahaha.

  • Oth September 18, 2013 - 6:41 pm Reply

    How long does it burn?

    • Pintester September 18, 2013 - 7:01 pm Reply

      I only burned it for a couple minutes, but the original tutorial guy burned it for half an hour and it still looked brand new. So, like, a long-ass time.

      • A. B. England September 19, 2013 - 4:14 pm Reply

        That’d probably depend on the wick you used. If it was one of the ones some bozo thought would be just hilarious to douse in accelerant and then sell through wholesale candle making suppliers, you’d be lucky to get an hour… Not that I’m bitter about loosing a batch of 50 votives.

    • Sunflowercake September 22, 2013 - 11:17 pm Reply

      If all the warnings on the can are true, it burns your kitchen down until the fire department got it under control….

  • meggie7 September 18, 2013 - 6:54 pm Reply

    Am I the only one to notice that you’re looking….ummm…really pretty these days?? (It might have been the lesbian experience comment.) But, I mean, you look very put together. Eye make up and lipstick. Yeah, looking good. Am I digging myself into a hole here?? Will you share eye make up tips??

    • Pintester September 18, 2013 - 7:01 pm Reply

      Aw thank you. And as far as eye make-up, I am lazy, so all it is is black eyeshadow on the top lid applied as eyeliner with a wet angle brush, and mascara on top and bottom lashes. Boom. Done.

  • KateRS September 18, 2013 - 6:58 pm Reply

    I love your Captain America shirt. (Yeah, that’s what I walked away from this video with. You like the Cap.)

    • Pintester September 18, 2013 - 6:59 pm Reply

      Lately my entire wardrobe consists of nothing but nerdy t-shirts. This is one of my faves.

      • Chelsea September 19, 2013 - 12:41 am Reply

        For the ultimate nerdy t-shirts, you MUST check out The catch is, each shirt is only available for 24 hours!

        • Pintester September 19, 2013 - 1:31 pm Reply

          Some of my collection is from there. 🙂

  • Honey Laura Clark September 18, 2013 - 7:10 pm Reply

    The “spread’ part made me say “eewww” out loud.

  • Jodee Rose September 18, 2013 - 7:10 pm Reply

    If you used butter flavored crisco you could have your own disgusting trashy Yankee Candle.

  • KazaD September 18, 2013 - 7:12 pm Reply

    Ergh! I went my whole life not knowing what Crisco is, I wish I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing, too late now!

  • Chris September 18, 2013 - 7:43 pm Reply

    Am I the only one that was screaming in my head, “GO GET A STICK!!!” instead of shoving your finger in it? LOL!!

  • Weaslyisourking September 18, 2013 - 8:18 pm Reply

    Your “lesbian experience” more reminded me of my first doctors appointment after giving birth… That’s what happens girls. Your vagina is a fresh can of crisco. Then you give birth and it turns into a can of crisco someone has clearly put their finger in, hit on the counter, smooshed together and declared it passable.

    • Lucky September 18, 2013 - 8:27 pm Reply

      Keigels help…

  • Angela W September 18, 2013 - 11:58 pm Reply

    I love how you went all “safety first” and tied your hair back…just in case.

  • msdill September 19, 2013 - 1:29 am Reply

    Going to ask the husband if he would like to stick his wick in my Crisco.

  • GarLogan September 19, 2013 - 2:43 am Reply

    I don’t understand why this is a thing. Is the original poster unaware that real candles exist? Or do they just not want to support Big Candle, preferring instead to support Big Fat In A Can? Or do they just enjoy the creamy lesbian experience that self-wicking provides?

    • Mykel McKinney September 19, 2013 - 3:41 pm Reply

      I can only imagine that conversation…. “Mom, my Crisco scented candle idea got rejected… DOWN WITH BIG CANDLE! Btw, I’m a lesbian” It’s like apple pie for women????

  • Franziska Külbel September 19, 2013 - 4:54 am Reply

    As soon as you said you’re gonna stick your finger in it, I was silently snickering, waiting for a vagina joke. Cause there are so many penis jokes on here, we need equality, more vagina jokes! And you didn’t disappoint me… although I think, there could’ve been more. But I don’t want it to get too nasty. So I’m just gonna enjoy the jokes I’m making in my head. Ah, good times!

  • ChickieD September 19, 2013 - 8:16 am Reply

    Is this, like, a redneck thing or something? Like, if you are one of those Duck Dynasty guys, is this what you do for candles just cause? I grew up in Alabama and I’m pretty sure they sell Glade candles in the stores there and people are really into that kind of thing even in the boonies, so, maybe this is like, trailer trash candle making?? Who can’t afford a candle? Who wants burnt Crisco smell all over there house? Or is this another one of those “emergency” things like, if you are in an emergency situation BUT you do have a can of Crisco and a wick…WTF???

    • Catherine September 19, 2013 - 9:50 am Reply

      It’s one of those zombie apocalypse emergency things. Everyone knows zombies are attracted by bright light so the warm glow of the crisco candle works well.

    • Quinn September 20, 2013 - 11:39 am Reply

      Rednecks will be the ones who serve longer then any yuppy.

      • Quinn September 20, 2013 - 11:40 am Reply


  • DebbieTC September 19, 2013 - 8:17 am Reply

    I’m surprised no one has already asked this, but what exactly does a lesbian cream candle smell like whilst burning, hmmmmm? Is this a scent that will drive your man wild when he walks in the door?

    • Pintester September 19, 2013 - 1:30 pm Reply

      It actually didn’t smell like much of anything, but I’m not really sure what lesbian cream would smell like either, so… maybe?

  • Tony September 19, 2013 - 11:39 am Reply

    Am I the only one silently screaming for you to make a small hole in the bottom of the can and push the wick UP?

    • Catherine September 20, 2013 - 9:07 am Reply

      Wouldn’t the Crisco melt and seep out the bottom that way?

      • Tony January 3, 2014 - 12:18 am Reply

        Well, that’s how a lot of normal candles are made now and that doesn’t happen, though I realize it’s a different material. Given that these candles are meant to burn a really long time, you could probably burn it almost all the way down and keep a candle plate under it to catch drips.

  • kmd2785 September 19, 2013 - 9:27 pm Reply

    Do you know how many “that’s what she said” jokes just came out of this video??? Seriously I think I’m going to watch it again and keep a tally…

  • Sunflowercake September 22, 2013 - 11:18 pm Reply

    oh good, this will make a great Christmas gift…

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  • Elizabeth December 31, 2013 - 8:56 am Reply

    My daughter and I made crisco and crayon candles. Melted the crisco and poured hot crisco in a dixie cup and put in a broken up crayon and stireed till it melted. Made the prettiest candle when poured into a cup with a wick glued to the bottom. But we CAN NOT get the candle to burn more than 5 minutes. Once the flame gets to the crisco it goes out. Any suggestions?

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