Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. I love the weather, the excuse to wear a costume, and– of course– the candy.
But I know some of you do not share in the candy love, and want to find a way to keep you and your kids away from the sweet stuff. I don’t have any kids, but I imagine if I did, stuff like these ‘candy corn’ fruit cups would cause a reaction something like, “Jesus, Mom. Do you think we’re dumb? This is not candy.” And yet I can’t resist.
Image from navywifecook.com
So this isn’t candy, but it is canned fruit and whipped cream… so use the word “healthy” at your own risk. Probably still better for you than candy corn. Maybe.
Another point in its favor is that assembly is pretty damn easy, even if you didn’t bother to read the directions, like, at all. And even if, after reading the directions, you realize you should have drained the pineapple. Oops.
Turns out it doesn’t matter much how you do this– it’s still going to look like a candy corn because of the colors, and it’s still going to taste nothing like a candy corn because it’s not a fucking candy corn. It’s fruit.
25 Comments
It does look yummy. Especially with some Cointreau mixed in. (FOR THE PARENTS, child protection people.)
I agree. I feel that the only way to make is a suitable substitute for candy corn would be to add alcohol. and candy corn.
LOL Ethne! For the CPS people….too funny.
Not sure if that Daily’s glass makes you an alcoholic, or classy as fuck. I’m going with both in your case madam Pintester.
Lol- the Daily’s glass means “I got this for free, so I’ma use it.” But also exudes a “classy as fuck” vibe…hmmm it’s a twofer- score for the Pintester!
Halloween is my favorite holiday too! First coherent thought after I had my daughter (I was heavily drugged and highly recommend it) was “Wow, what a miracle,” yadda, yadda. My second thought was “Halloween is going to be so much fun again!!” I’m serious, that’s what I thought (please no judgies people).
I still decorated the house, dressed up, and gave out candy every year between my last time trick-or-treating…..at 15…..heehee and having my daughter Sydney, but it just wasn’t the same. Oh the joy of dressing her up and taking her out to get candy. It was great when she was really young because I got to keep all her candy (yes I’m 33 and still love candy). Now that she’s older it’s harder to sneak it while she sleeps without her noticing in the morning (boo), but better for my waistline I guess.
Syd is a trick-or-treating machine and will outlast all the kids and adults we go with, is adorbs, if I do say so myself, is polite, and always has cool costumes- so she cleans up in the candy dept. She’s a tomboy so there are no princess costumes or glitter in sight (I grieved that long ago and have come to embrace her tomboyish ways).
I know this is long…sorry….but can I just rant for a second? What is up with kids that just knock and hold their bags out? They want free candy deliciousness from me yet they can’t even muster a measly “Trick-or-Treat?” Ummm…. no. I’ll stand there and stare at them until they say it, then there is rarely a “thank you”–the lazy little brats. What happened to Halloween etiquette? jeesh! Ok, rant over 🙂
Got so excited about Halloween I forgot to comment on your pintest! While fruit is a shitty substitute for candy.. the candy corn fruit cup is very cute. My kid would definitely be excited to eat this since she will eat any kind of fruit if I put whipped cream on it. I usually toss a few sprinkles on top (have sprinkles for every holiday) and a cherry to turn it into a “sundae” and she loves it! I also top jello cups that way and it really jazzes up a boring jello cup and I figure is a little healthier than ice cream every time she wants a dessert of some sort. I made them for her friends and they went crazy for them too and it saved me the hassle of scooping ice cream 🙂
I’d cry too if I got a Daily’s cup that only had fruit and whip cream in it.
I’m assuming this started when someone needed a non-candy treat for school, just like those orange jack=o=lanterns and banana ghosts.. Schools are such killjoys! There are a depressing number of healthy Halloween snacks on pinterest.
I can almost bet that tastes better than actual candy corn…which I’m pretty sure is just candle wax and sugar. So, it’s a win in my book 🙂
Candy corn is the worst!!! Little pumpkin farts, I call ’em. Gross.
I’d suggest you just throw all that shit in a blender, add a little rum, eat a piece of candy corn and call it a win. Adult candy corn fruit cup o’ rum.
I like the way you think.
I was at the grocery store the other day and there was some bitch in front of me going on and on about how she was going to make her stupid chocolate avocado pudding and how great and healthy it is to her daughter. I think she was judging me because I had processed granola bars instead of the hippy cardboard brand. Anyway, she kept looking at me as she talked about it, so I smiled at her and, grabbed a Snickers, and brought that shit too, even though I don’t like Snickers, because that bitch needed to shut the hell up.
Anyway this shit reminds me of that lady. And now I want to go buy candy corn.
while avocado and chocolate taste pretty damn good together, chocolate avocado pudding is not nearly as delicious as an honest to god terrible for you pudding cup.
Malibu Rum coming right up!
I usually hand out jello shots for the parents walking with their trick-or-treaters, so I might just have to do this instead, with the alcohol suggestions, of course.
I could see kids being totally happy with this, so long as you called it fruit and whipped cream. Giving them false candy hopes and then putting this in front of them is just mean. That’s like someone a gift card, but not putting any money on it.
This was cute. Cute in the way that someone with children might get excited about it. I do not have children. I think you should stick with the candy corn theme and find a candy corn inspired jello shot (or one of those floater drinks where you float liquor in different layers, like a buttery nipple) and a candy corn inspired manicure, and go to town on your next cocknails.
I have been thinking about making this one with some vodka poured over the top… not for kids, but better than candy corn!
Damn, I had one of those moms growing up. She would wax poetic about how “sugar sweet” the snap peas were. We had no poptarts, no twinkies, no potato chips.. NOTHING. Shoot, we didn’t even have soda except for Wink (grapefruit) or Ginger Ale for mixing my dad’s after work drinks. I used to sneak into the pantry and guzzle that dam grapefruit soda like an alcoholic hiding my shame from the family! I also used to steal the little packets of drink mixer for whiskey sours and eat it like pixie stix. Believe me all you rabid health food moms.. the minute your little “all natural” angel is out of your sight, they are up to their eyeballs in artificial flavors and high fructose corn syrup.
Not that I agree with your mom (I believe moderation in all things tends to be best), but if you grow your own peas, they are actually very sweet. Also — and you may recoil from the health food problems of your childhood — but sungold tomatoes (homegrown, not storebought!) are actually like lumps of sugar. And I regularly eat lumps of sugar straight up.
My parents try hard (now) to have a better type of sweet around — so still sweets, but made with real sugar, not HFCS, lower in sat fat, etc. When I was a lot younger, we were dirt poor (recent immigrants, too), so there was a lot more unhealthy cheap stuff, but now it’s “Okay, we all like sugar, but let’s be intelligent about it”, which I think is the best way to prevent both extremes. I’m done rambling now.
I feel like it needs booze.
Oh man, if it weren’t called ‘candy corn’ fruit cup, it would actually be AWESOME. Because pineapple and orange and whipped cream = YUM. Also, fuck draining. The juice is awesome and the two types go well together, so drink it in the end!
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