Ok maybe this is TMI (Don’t you love it when blog posts start that way?), but when I’m on my period I just want some damn chocolate. I’m pretty sure this is not a unique phenomenon, so I thought I’d help out my Internet brethren… er, sistren… by testing out a chocolate truffle recipe. And– BONUS– if you do it right, it’s also Paleo.
I’ll give you a second to think about whether I did it right or not.
DING DING DING. I didn’t. This was not because I lacked the will to do it right. It was because I lacked the will to put on anything other than period underwear and a hoodie and actually go to the grocery store. So I used what I had. It was mostly right.
Dried organic unsweetened coconut flakes? Nope. This girl had sweetened “fancy flake” coconut. (I don’t know what the hell “fancy flake” means, but whatever.)
Even the sweetened version of this ingredient made me a little bit nervous because I have not had the best past experiences with coconut. Just sayin.
Raw cacao powder? Yeah, no. I had a little bit of leftover Hershey’s cocoa powder and a tub of unopened Nestle cocoa powder. I combined them. I am almost certain neither of them were raw cacao. They both taste like butt if you spill them on your hand and lick it by accident, though.
I also did not have virgin unrefined coconut oil. (Who does? I joke all the time on this blog about needing ingredients that are as hard to find as the tears of red-haired virgins, but this actually has the word “virgin” in it.) Mine happened to be refined coconut oil. But refined is better right? Maybe it doesn’t, like, burp in public or get drunk at country clubs and embarrass its parents? Let’s go with that.
I also did not have peppermint essential oil. Siiiigh. I know, guys, I know. This is getting a little ridiculous. But I substitute because it’s reality and because of aforementioned hoodie and period underwear.
BUT! I had two of the correct ingredients: maple syrup and vanilla. Well, three, if you count the pinch of sea salt, but I guess I won’t count that as I completely forgot to add it. Also, I didn’t have quite enough maple syrup (a cup is a lot of syrup, guys), but I figured it would even out since the coconut was sweetened and wasn’t really supposed to be.
The ubiquitous everybody-in-the-pool shot:
Instructions were to, er, “process” this until it turned into dough. I processed mine until the food processor started making a pained noise and the whole thing looked like a blended turd. (I am making the description of the following picture “blended turd.” I hope someone pins it with that caption. I hope I hope I hope.)
And because I also did not have a tiny, adorable ice cream scoop with which to make my truffles, I used a spoon and my finger.
All that was left was to put these puppies in the refrigerator and wait. Oh, and clean up the kitchen, which mostly consisted of me cleaning the spoon and bowl… with my tongue. In my period panties. (If you are thinking this was somehow sexy, I assure you, it was not. I think the word you’re looking for is “horrifying.”)
Twenty minutes later, I had pleasantly less messy peppermint truffles! And they were actually good, guys! So see? Sometimes substituting for just about every ingredient in a recipe does not end in disaster. High fives all around. Make these with whatever you have in the house next time you’re on your period and can’t be arsed to put on a bra and pants and go to the store. You’re welcome.
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114 Comments
Shoe shopping!!
I pamper myself with the cliche bubble bath and some sugar scrub that my son made for at summer camp.
I pamper myself with those Biore nose strips from the 80’s and a fresh coat of nail & toe polish.
Pampering with a bit of lavender oil in an Epsom foot bath!! And of course chocolate with said period panties and sweats!!
I eat bags of cheesy chips. Bags.
I watch a sad movie and have a good cry while stuffing my face with take out.
I allow myself to be a blob on the couch. Lame, I know, but it’s hard to not feel like I have to do a million things at once!
I love to pamper myself with a hot bath and a good book. Also, wine.
I stay in sweats all day long, munching on the couch. #classy
Ice cream for sure
Actually, I use peppermint essential oil (the REAL kind, fyi) on the back of my neck. It’s refreshing and helps if you have a little headache or, ya know, PMS.
a hot bubble bath and a good book
dlatany at gmail dot com
https://twitter.com/sweetums82/status/498922881171345409
dlatany at gmail dot com
Once we get our jetted tub fixed, I’ll be pampering myself with swirly baths!
I get a massage and take a bubble bath.
I make one of those infamous brownie-in-a-mug things from Pinterest. It’s not the greatest thing in the world, but it keeps me from eating an entire pan of brownies.
What is your recipe for brownie-in-a-mug? All the ones I have tried left me with chocolate grossness, I’m desperate for something palatable.
I buy high-quality toilet paper. Pampering myself every damn day.
I get a massage every week. Before you all hate me, I’m a massage therapy student and clinic is going on right now, so it’s like I’m doing everyone a favor!
https://twitter.com/ElenaIstomina/status/498976815306645504
I take a bath and have a Mindy Project binge watching session on Hulu.
tweet–https://twitter.com/mami2jcn/status/498998322204770304
I buy nice lotions and soaps to pamper myself.
kellywcu8888ATgmailDOTcom
I would buy some spa items
tweet
https://twitter.com/Kellydinpa/status/498999030584991745
kellywcu8888ATgmailDOTcom
Tweeted https://twitter.com/adorablesweetp/status/498999166736302082
I don’t know if I’d say I pamper myself, but when I’m at home I never wear real pants. That has to count for something.
I’m super excited! My period has synced with the Pintesters! I pamper myself almost just like you do-no bra, period underpants & chocolate. Only difference is I wear a t-shirt instead of a hoodie (hot flashes) and booze. I’m thinking I’ll make the truffles & sub creme de menthe for the peppermint essential oil/extract.
I pamper myself by staying in bed and reading a great novel or a trashy magazine! 🙂
blog post from my book blog: http://bleed-in-ink.tumblr.com/post/94491591099/paleo-peppermint-chocolate-truffles-plus-a-100
I tweeted under username @yarbr012: https://twitter.com/yarbr012/status/499015106848890880.
I pamper myself with long hot showers.
I like to run a hot bath and light some scented candles.
I like to sit by the window with a book and a cup of coffee with real cream (while my two toddlers are napping).
I like to sit outside on the porch and read a book while I have a hot cup of green tea.
I tweeted from user @lil_lady_dz https://twitter.com/lil_lady_dz/status/498978946310885377
I indulge with a nice hot cup of cappuchino!
I deep condition my hair and give myself a facial!
YAY for substituting! And even though I no longer have a period, I put off going to stores because that requires putting on a bra – fuck that.
When I’m on my period I take a really hot, really long bath with lavender and vanilla. It’s the best!
https://twitter.com/bigbirdmommy/status/499268818007773185
I pamper myself by giving myself a pedicure and a hot oil hair treatment!
I pamper myself by reading lots of books on my iPad and mixing essential oil blends. speaking of which, I wouldn’t recommend using peppermint essential oil in something you’re going to be eating, so you have my approval for substituting extract. Because you know you were madly craving my approval.
I pamper myself by getting up early to exercise, and then rewarding myself with 15 minutes of reading a great book and drinking a yummy cup of coffee.
madelinebrubaker {at} gmail [dot] com
Tweet link: https://twitter.com/shala_darkstone/status/499374309375492097
I sit in the tub with a drink and a book.
I pamper myself by making peanut butter balls, Pintester style…using whatever I have in the house. Because getting dressed is too much trouble! 🙂
I pamper myself with binge watching tv series before I go to sleep.
Tweet
https://twitter.com/clc408/status/499668655903240192
I buy soaps that smell like food to pamper myself.
I give myself a pedicure. And sometimes go for facials.
I pamper myself by taking 15 minutes to myself
to drink a cup of tea, paint my nails and catch up online.
[email protected]
Tweeted
https://twitter.com/mummytotwoboys1/status/500014408567779328
[email protected]
I pamper myself by having quiet time to read, something that is a luxury in a house with children. Thank you for the wonderful giveaway! girlygirlugh at gmail dot com
I shared on twitter:
https://twitter.com/girlygirlugh/status/500121559848480768
girlygirlugh at gmail dot com
I like to eat graham crackers with chocolate and peanut butter…mmm and no cooking required.
Yet another DELIGHTFUL post from you! I think that using your finger and a spoon was what made them turn out so delicious! Thank you for sharing this one with your faithful followers!
I pamper myself with Canada mints. Don’t judge me! Seriously, I had a bitch of a headache and reading about your “period panties” made me feel better. Thanks!
i pamper myself by giving myself a pedicure and bubble bath [email protected]
I tweeted https://twitter.com/thepryfamily5/status/500801040522825729 [email protected]
I don’t get a chance to pamper myself often, but going *anywhere* solo, grabbing a drink from Starbucks, or getting a back rub would all be wonderful.
chambanachik(at)gmail(dot)com
i saw your coconut oil..is it bad that i got a wee bit excited because i have & use the same exact kind? I recently found the unrefined one, and thought seriously, who the hell is going to spend two dollars more? could be because i’m a frugal horrible woman, or it could just be…no it’s because i’m frugal to the t. now i want some of those brownie things. but it also looks too worky for me. instead i’ll finish my drink and make another. cheers.
I give myself DIY facials once/week.
I get myself a box of dark chocolate truffles to enjoy.
-https://twitter.com/tcarolinep/status/501198765471305729
bath with a locked door!
My go to is dark Toblerone, if I can find it. Or the LIndt Orange.
My husband makes me a batch of brownies every month during my period. So, really, I pamper myself by having an awesome husband.
I pamper myself with a nice, long hot bath and a book.
I give myself a mani/pedi.
I love hot, bubble baths a couple of times a week!
i go to the spa and get a Starbucks coffee!
https://twitter.com/HappyTina0115/status/503629528938213377
You have the right idea with chocolate!
Pajamas, sofa, comfort food, tea, TV.
tweeted
https://twitter.com/rubylorikeet/status/504875205123002369
I love to take a nice, warm bath and relax with a good music and good book.
prettyinhotpink6 at gmail dot com
Tweet: https://twitter.com/PrettyHotPink6/status/505112990572482560
I like to unwind with a nice cocktail
I pamper myself with a manicure and/or pedicure and request extra long massage.
zuzu.wilson at yahoo dot com
Tweet: https://twitter.com/Zuzuz_Petalz/status/505951866023608320
zuzu.wilson at yahoo dot com
I try to escape for some me time at the gym
I pamper myself by taking a bubble bath and lighting candles.
Thanks for the chance to win!
wildorchid985 at gmail dot com
tweet–https://twitter.com/WildOrchid985/status/507726208159588352
wildorchid985 at gmail dot com
I run away from my husband and children, eat pizza and chocolate .. and then.. I sleep. It’s perfect.
https://twitter.com/Drea_Christine/status/507905668222050305
I pamper myself by having a bubble bath while reading a good book.
s2s2 at Comcast dot net
https://twitter.com/susan1215/status/507947096067297281
s2s2 at Comcast dot net
With a hot bath.
MCantu1019 at aol dot com
i go to cheesecake factory and get me and slice every once in a while
https://twitter.com/purplelover04/status/509009636985688065
I pamper myself at the hair salon every 6 weeks:)
nuthouse(at)centurytel(dot)net
tweeted: https://twitter.com/KerryBishop/status/509147214380138496
nuthouse(at)centurytel.net
I like to pamper myself by taking a ling hot bath at least once a week.
https://twitter.com/LuLu_Brown24/status/509450052759068672
I pamper myself by getting a pedicure.
Tweet — https://twitter.com/electricstar/status/509526863421923329
Pampering is having some me time with a nice long hot bath and a good book.
willitara [at] gmail [dot] com
Tweet – https://twitter.com/willitara/status/509614101237366784
willitara [at] gmail [dot] com
I pamper myself with Starbucks once a week. It may not seem like much, but it is all that I can afford, so it is a splurge for sure! 😀
Angie
14earth at gmail dot com
I tweeted here: https://twitter.com/MsTofuFairy/status/509712135635873792
Angie
14earth at gmail dot com
I pamper myself with a hot bubble bath and a good book.
tweet
https://twitter.com/eswright18/status/509784839378444288
I will read some of my favorite books over again
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
tweet https://twitter.com/ChelleB36/status/509880396251537408
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
I get manicures
POKERGRL8 at gmail.com
https://twitter.com/aes529/status/510037877619970048
I pamper myself by going out to dinner.
rounder9834 @yahoo.com
https://twitter.com/thomasmurphy40/status/510149586791702530
rounder9834 @yahoo.com
I enjoy pampering myself by getting a massage every other week.
Thanks for the contest.
slehan at juno dot com
https://twitter.com/slehan/status/510154724159807489
slehan at juno dot com
I pamper myself with relaxing music, a bubble bath and a glass of wine.
tweet: https://twitter.com/myfolly/status/510242707244351488
i pamper myself by relaxing with a good book or listening to music!
debbiebellows (at) gmail (dot) com
i posted a tweet:
https://twitter.com/bellows22/status/510257833922023425
debbiebellows (at) gmail (dot) com