It’s Halloween! My favorite.
I decided to celebrate this year by doing a proper jack-o-lantern pin test. Yeah, I sort of did one last year, but this year I found a design on Pinterest and decided to duplicate it exactly, thank you very much. (Of course, this is me, so by “duplicate exactly” I mean “approximate poorly,” but we’ll get to that.)
Behold, my plan:
Image from Instructables.com
The plan comes with detailed written and pictorial instructions as well as a pattern you can print out. What could go wrong, I ask you?
I mean, all you need is a pumpkin and a drill. Tab A, slot B, badda-bing, badda-boom, you’re cooking with fairy dust.
Transferring the Tinkerbell pattern went fine… you know… ish.
Although, I do have to admit that my arm was already getting tired by this point and I hadn’t even started doing any actual work yet. Pumpkin prep, y’all. You spend all that time getting things all clean and pretty and then you carefully prepare your plan of attack only to be too tired to do the deed when you’re finally ready. Sigh.
But do the deed I did and I managed to get Tinkerbell carved into the pumpkin without any important pieces of pumpkin anatomy falling off or otherwise becoming unusable.
The fun part of this project is, of course, power tools. In order to make Tinkerbell’s fairy dust, you use a drill with varying sizes of drill bits. I don’t have a drill, so my husband gamely offered the use of his. (He hasn’t seen the pumpkin gut carnage yet. Let’s all hope he just skims this post, and by the next time he wants to use his drill, he will have forgotten why there is orange vegetable crusted onto every surface and who is to blame for that.)
Apparently, though, I have absolutely no sense of drill, because that thing went flopping all over the place and my arm got tired in like 10 seconds. At this point, I figured maybe fairy dust wasn’t that important after all, but my project would have been kind of ruined if I didn’t finish, so I powered through the massive forearm fatigue (and only whined a little bit), and finally fairy dust resulted.
Note to self: Fairy dust is less important to have and more of a pain in the ass to get than anyone will ever tell you.
No, it’s not perfect, but that’s not really the point of this blog. The point of this blog is for me to write an entire post with thinly-veiled hand-job innuendos ALL IN IT and see how many of you giggle and squee in the comments. Mission: accomplished.
13 Comments
I think that they did not use a real pumpkin. The original looks like one of those hard fake things you get at the craft store. The holes are too crisp-looking and the solid parts are more opaque than real pumpkin flesh. And yes, I did spend actual time making these comparisons. 🙂
I like to compare handjobs, too. It’s much easier to give a handjob to a fake than a real one, but only if you’re not worried about satisfying anyone but yourself. 🙂
It is a fake pumpkin — in the very first picture you can see the big hole in the bottom that goes over the lightsource… Plus it’s WHITE on the outside.
So go, Pintester, you win this one!!
There are white pumpkins out there, ya know. Though, that one totally is fake.
The fairy looks more like the roadrunner.
I think you a did a good job with the fact that you were carving a pumpkin. I think it looks quite like a fairy and it looks really good. But I enjoyed your commentary throughout the process as it is what I do too.
I think fake pumpkins cost more than real ones. dafuq?
Show off!
It looks less like a wand and more like a knife, which I personally feel is more in line with the holiday and the post.
Twisted Tinkerbell. I like it!
This looks great! I feel a kinship here, as I did the same pumpkin. I was so proud of myself, but no one else could be. Halloween dipped below freezing and we got maybe a dozen trick-or-treaters. 🙁
Tinkerell: Lice Edition
I did this too and it looked about the same, so now I don’t feel so bad- the dust was really hard to see.