Not Quite Dead

0 Posted by - December 30, 2014 - Announcements

I felt I should address those of you who are wondering if I am dead or something.

Nope. Still here … despite my penchant for lighting things on fire.

A friend of mine suggested, “You should post a meme of your head on a skeleton and tell everyone that due to unforeseen circumstances, most likely setting things on fire, you have taken a short break until things improve.”

This is the best I can do.

Pintester will return shortly.

Guys, things have been wild and crazy around here. But you don’t really want to hear excuses, I know… except maybe the one about my dog having her toe chopped off, because that’s a good one. But the other ones are sort of squishy and whiny, and I feel honor-bound to uphold our content standards of farts and penis jokes, so I won’t write about that shit here.

I don’t blame you for thinking I have legit disappeared, and this is how it would go down if I actually did disappear. I would just stop posting one day. None of that crap where a blogger dramatically throws a giant “I quit” tantrum as a last PR stunt and a way to squeeze a little more traffic out of her waning pageviews. No, someday I will just dissipate like a fart in the wind. (See, I can write about this, as long as I can squeeze in a fart joke. Or is it squeeze out a fart joke? Hurhur.)

Anyways, this is not that fart. Um. What I mean to say is that I have not quit, I shall return, and I’m working some things out. If you’re bored in the meantime, please follow me on my personal Twitter account. I say funny shit there from time to time and even drop an f-bomb occasionally, though this is my safehouse for fucks. (Wait, that sounded wrong.)

See you soon!

Not Quite Dead
Article Name
Not Quite Dead
Is kaput? No way! Farts and penis jokes shall resume shortly.


  • Tricia December 30, 2014 - 1:58 pm Reply

    Hope everything is ok. And yes, we require the dog losing a toe story in detail.

  • Trish December 30, 2014 - 5:49 pm Reply

    The fuck? You’re gonna tease the dog story and then leave us wondering? Anyway glad to hear you haven’t turned into a fart in the wind, or a head on a skeleton, or a charred pile of ashes on your kitchen floor, or anything like that. Hope all’s well otherwise, or at least that it will be!

  • Kim December 30, 2014 - 11:26 pm Reply

    I have so missed your blog and videos! Hope everything is okay in your real life and that your dog is okay too!

  • Katrina Duvalois December 31, 2014 - 2:47 pm Reply

    I do kind of want to hear the excuses…

  • Ass-Easy Snowflake Window Clings (and a FREE PRINTABLE OMGWTFBBQ!) | Pintester December 31, 2014 - 4:19 pm Reply

    […] the dog (who is still wearing a cone because of aforementioned chopped off toe) was really happy that I opened the curtain so she could bark her face off at the […]

  • Katie December 31, 2014 - 5:23 pm Reply

    She’s alive!!!!! Oh, crap. Send back the flowers. Cancel the lasagna. Return the black dress. Can we put the headstone on layaway?

    • Marissa Peterson March 5, 2015 - 6:18 pm Reply

      Hahaha, layaway!!

  • Samami January 12, 2015 - 11:52 am Reply

    Glad to hear that you are coming back

  • Leave a Reply to Trish Cancel reply

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