The 10-Minute Pseudo-Skirt That I’ll Never Wear in Public

I don’t know why I always think it’s a good idea to sew things. I don’t have a sewing machine, for one thing. For another thing, I don’t sew, like ever. I mean, I sew buttons on things now and then, and then they fall off again, and then I just stop buttoning whatever the buttons fell off of (and hope they’re not pants).

But I fell in love with these cute little kid skirts.

I decided I had to make one, since I have a lot of my husband’s old t-shirts in the closet and this would, of course, translate to a fully grown (and oversized, if we’re being honest) adult.

I forgot to take into account that all the t-shirts my husband doesn’t want to wear as t-shirts anymore are ugly.

I also forgot that I don’t like short skirts, and it turns out that once you cut the arm part off a t-shirt, even one that a full-grown man wears, it’s gonna be short. And that’s before you add the elastic.

Still, I had already started, and so I plunged ahead. With red thread. Here is where I tell you that this is a not-even-close-to-10-minute skirt if you don’t have a sewing machine. It’s more like a 30-to-40-minutes-of-shoulder-cramping-finger-bleeding-pain skirt.

And that’s if you totally blaspheme your way through the shittiest sewing job ever just to get it done in a semi-reasonable amount of time. I then secured the elastic in an equally shitty manner.

But, you know, I have to say that if you take into account my lack of skills, lack of sewing machine, lack of a nice t-shirt, and fat ass, this didn’t turn out quite as bad as I was imagining. I did forget that part of the reason this particular shirt was in the cast-off bin was because the hem had part-way come out, and I will never wear this skirt in public because I hate my thighs and my thighs hate me, but you know, it resembles a skirt and it is technically wearable as a piece of clothing in that it covers most of my butt, so there’s that.

Anyone want an ugly brown skirt meant to fit a giant butt?