Home-made beauty products and I have generally not gotten along well. But sometimes I do ok with the simple ones. Plus my feet were gross and now that I’m not gainfully employed, I feel guilty going to go get pedicures. Enter the Listerine and shaving cream foot mask.
From ksl.com
This is one of those pins I saw and then immediately went, “Whaaaa?” There is no way that this works.
But I live to serve, and even though I was pretty convinced this would not do anything for my feet besides maybe make my toes smell minty-fresh, I did it anyway.
I could have sworn I had Listerine in the house, but upon my search, I found that all I had was a small travel bottle of Colgate mouthwash. I’m not a brand snob, but it said right on the front that it contained no alcohol. To me, it seemed like the alcohol would be the active ingredient, but as it was all I had, I used it.
As per the instructions, I put on the shaving cream first.
Then, somewhat handicapped by the whole having to hop on one foot or risk leaving shaving cream footprints on my rug, I mixed up the mouthwash solution in the sink, soaked a rag, and wrapped my foot in it.
This is less easy than it sounds, and it sounds pretty hard. Picture me with one foot on the counter wrapped in a mint-smelling wet washcloth losing my balance and falling ass-first into the tub. It was funnier in person.
When I recovered, I decided I needed a way to keep everything in place. The instructional post did not say how the hell you’re supposed to keep shaving cream and Listerine on your feet for half an hour without just staying ass-first in the tub. But I am a genius, so I came up with a solution.
Everything was going fine and I was settling in to relax for the next half an hour with my feet up, but then my dog started making noises. You know the noises. The pre-hurl noises.
I ran to the door to let her outside, but alas, I was too late, and she horked up everything she’d eaten since Christmas in the middle of the welcome mat by the door. In my mad dash, I’d dislodged the washclothes inside the plastic bags, so they just sort of flopped around in there while I attempted to clean the rug for like a minute and then gave up and threw the whole thing in the dumpster.
So you won’t be surprised, I guess, that this didn’t work. Nothing happened to my feet, except that one of them picked up the burgundy dye from the washcloth.
Foreground: my burgundy foot. Background: dog, who feels better now.
If I were going to try it again, I would use mouthwash with alcohol in it, and I would put the dog outside first. But I’m not going to try it again.
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