I like giving myself manicures. In college, I gave myself a manicure every time I got sad or bored. (This was before I discovered that food can be used to cure those things, too.) So, in general, I am in favor of new manicure ideas. I found this one on Pinterest:
The tutorial also claimed that it was super duper easy, so I declared myself able and onward I forged.
I started out with a base coat of white.
And then I gathered the other materials.
The tutorial I read said to tape off your fingers with Scotch tape to avoid splattering nail polish on your fingers, but I am very lazy and also cheap, and I didn’t want to use up a bunch of tape on my fingers. I’d read somewhere else that you can use Vaseline to accomplish same, and I had a giant tub of Vaseline that I bought for another pin test, so I decided to use that.
(You would not believe how amused my shopping partner was when I loaded a giant tub of off-brand Vaseline into my basket. “What are you gonna do with that? Hurr hurr hurr, you little minx. Hurr hurr.)
This is where things got complicated. The object is to get some nail polish on the straw and then blow to spatter. I don’t know if I’m just not a great blower (hurr hurr) or what, but my blows left something to be desired (hurr HURR!).
At least the plate looks pretty.
I kept trying, though, because I am a trooper, and I will blow til the job is done (hurr). After a while, I figured out I wasn’t getting enough nail polish on the straw, and also, I had to blow harder. (OMG, stop.) I got a little overzealous, as you can see.
The result is a little like Jackson Polluck snorted Skittles and then blew his nose on my fingernails. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, necessarily.
Also, Vaseline rocks my world. (Hurrrr hurrrr hurrr.) It was way easy to wipe up the mess from my fingers with a paper towel.
You should know that, by the time I moved on to my right hand, my blowing technique (hurrdeehurrhurr) had gotten better. This is probably the only time in my life that the manicure on my right hand will look better than the one on my left hand, so you should take a look at that, too.
Messy, but totally worth getting to write a post with a gajillion blow jokes.
22 Comments
I don’t know. I think you blew it on this one.
O:-)
Like.
Just a note – you should always paint the nails on your dominant hand first. It works like a charm.
It almost looks to me like the original pinner used a more liquidy nail polish to get that effect. Also, you have pretty nails.
[…] tried out a splatter manicure. It blew. Heh heh heh heh […]
So I seen a pin about your blog on pinterest, and just read this post and laughed so hard I literally cried! Thank you!
Hey, this one was not that bad. The first nail looks preety.
thanks for posting about the Vaseline…wondered about that… I always use it on my hands in winter from over washing cause they crack and bleed…and have been putting it on my heels lately cause my son told me that my feet made me look old because they were dry/cracked…
I’ve actually tried to nail art dealio after seeing it on Pinterest as well. I’ve found it works much better with those smaller cocktail straws. My mother calls it the blow job mani rofl!
Looks good compared to my first try. I did a black base and used silver & green nail polish. My fiancé walked in and asked if I had played paint ball. It got on my face (don’t ask I still don’t know).
I did that same manicure at like one in the morning…. Not a good hour for a sudden urge to paint nails. We were out of tape so I decided a quick q-tip clean up afterwards wasn’t that bad. I did my first color and used a q-tip to clean the outside and inside of the straw because I didnt want the colors to mix. Somehow when I started on my second color I inhaled on the straw and got many unpleasant fumes in my mouth (but the colors didn’t mix). It ended up taking like 30 double side q-tips to get MOST of the extra nail polish off… And somehow it got all over my face… At least my nails look good
Seriously you are one of the funniest blogs I have ever read! I am dying laughing at the shit you post!!! THANK YOU! Please don’t stop Pin-Testing!! “The result is like Jackson Polluck snorted Skittles and then blew his nose on my fingernails” had me falling out of the chair!!! You ROCK!!
OMG!!! Seriously almost peed my pants laughing at this post! You are hilarious!!!
omg!!! You should be on TV soon for these hilarious posts!! you rock!!
ahh fuck me, I think I just pissed myself reading this (I’m 36 weeks pregnant, my bladder is a fucking pea)
You could have closed with “Nailed It”.
my husband just told me im getting annoying over here with my snickering and laughing and whatnot. I blame you and you hilarity. i bet thats not how you spell it.
You know when you don’t want to laugh and you try and hold it in, but it still explodes out of your nose? (mine do…)…yeah. not so fun when you have a cold…I couldnt help myself with your Jackson Pollock comment!! Greatest. Image. Ever!
By the way, your nails came out cute!!
[…] clean-up easier, and also because I use Vaseline whenever possible in pin tests so that I can make off-color jokes about giant tubs of Vaseline, […]
I just laughed so hard I cried at this line, “The result is a little like Jackson Polluck snorted Skittles and then blew his nose on my fingernails.” Trying not to wake my fiance up with my giggling.
A suggestion might be to get/ use a coffee stick/straw, since it is smaller.
LOL! Is that a hair stuck across your thumb?! Funny!