Sock Snowman

1 Posted by - December 17, 2012 - Christmas & Holiday, DIY & Crafts

Do you guys know why I don’t do too many crafts on this blog? I mean honest-to-goodness, make-something-cute-out-of-something-else crafts? Because when I do, I end up with ugly shit that I have to throw away. And after the effort of crafting a thing, even if it turns out like the aforementioned shit, it’s hard to throw it away. But I love you, and I decided that this had to be tested anyway, despite my fear of crafts.

Image from Then She Made

Image from Then She Made

Aww, a sweatsock snowman!

For the average person, you should have all the stuff you need for this craft already around: Basically, you just need a tube sock and a sock with a pattern on it, and some buttons and stuff for the decorations.

I am possibly the only person in North America who does not have a white tube sock in the whole house.

But I refused to let that stop me.


I decided we were going to have a love snowman, since the closest thing to white tube socks I had were a pair of threadbare trouser socks with “love” written on them. (No, I don’t know either.)

And thus began the creation of Calvin the Love Snowman.


And then he became Calvin the Flaming Love Snowman.


(Incidentally, when people ask me what the weirdest thing in my sock drawer is, I can honestly answer “my socks,” because these are just the ones I was willing to part with. There are more. Oh yes, there are more.)

Fully assembled and ready for decor, I realized I needed a method to attach Calvin’s buttons and facial features. I could have used my hot glue gun. I do, in fact, possess one. But who wants to wait for glue to heat up etc., etc. when you have Krazy Glue readily available?

I went to fetch it from where I’d stashed it on top of my desk hutch in the office and I swear to god it was covered in Indiana Jones quality cobwebs. I have never seen cobwebs in a house that massive, sticky, dusty, and hideous. Some mutant spider, I’m pretty sure, has been feeding off my Krazy Glue and shitting out monstrous mutant spider webs. Yech. (No pictures because I was freaking the hell right out at that point.)

Krazy Glue in slightly-still-cobweb-bestickied hands, I began.

If there’s one thing you guys should expect by now, it’s that if I am using Krazy Glue, something is going to get glued to something else that it wasn’t supposed to get glued to. In this case, I accidentally glued a button to my thumb. After prying it painfully free, I was left with a glue callous of impressive size.


And also, there will forever be evidence of my left thumbprint on Calvin’s bottom button.


Anyway, after long minutes of highly skilled crafting, I came away with a wacky snowman of love that no person in their right fucking mind would ever display anywhere, ever.

Merry Christmas from Calvin the Flaming Love Snowman.


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  • LyndsayW December 17, 2012 - 6:05 pm Reply

    It looks like the Oogie Boogie Man from The Nightmare Before Christmas!

    • LyndsayW December 17, 2012 - 6:05 pm Reply

      If you use the “x” and “o” on the top part as eyes, of course.

  • JenniferLivingstonForbes December 17, 2012 - 6:10 pm Reply

    Awww…I think he’s cute!

  • DestiniRichlin December 17, 2012 - 6:20 pm Reply

    I think he’s cute too!

  • SarahStalcup December 17, 2012 - 6:20 pm Reply

    Sonja (apparently we are on a first name basis now…)  you HAVE to give him away a la the menses card!!!

  • heidibadger December 17, 2012 - 6:30 pm Reply

    ” Mommies little piggie”.

  • Kelly724 December 17, 2012 - 6:40 pm Reply

    If you let your eyes relax (kind of like one of those magic eye pictures) it looks like some distorted freaky zombie penis. Guess you’re on some zombie kick. After I knew it was supposted to be a snowman I saw that too. I just had to let my eyes relax again and think of snow and not semen.

  • kittenlamieux December 17, 2012 - 7:00 pm Reply

    I actually think this snowman looks great!  I know that is not snarky or edgy of me, but I needed some levity today.  I genuinely enjoyed seeing your take on a soft, hand crafted, sock sculpture of Guy Fieri as a snowman.  It was MONEY and it certainly drove my bus to FLAVORTOWN.

    • Brittany Lynne Borden December 27, 2012 - 2:45 pm Reply

      Oh god. Now I just want to make a bunch of Guy Fieri snow men and film my own Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives. I’ll even put frosted blonde tips, eau de douche, and sun glasses on the back of their heads.

  • AlexisBennett December 17, 2012 - 7:20 pm Reply

    This one actually turned out to be pretty darn cute! Masochistic snowman, with the flames, but still cute!

  • Truffles8761 December 17, 2012 - 7:30 pm Reply

    I expected so much worse from you.  Oh the disappointment when I see that Calvin is actually not a vomit-worthy little troll of a sock creature.  Nicely done, master of the permanent finger button, nicely done.

  • bybreenah December 17, 2012 - 7:50 pm Reply

    Aw, he’s not horrible!

  • Sara A Mixed Media Life December 17, 2012 - 7:50 pm Reply

    Eh – I’ve seen worse 🙂

  • nikkiy December 17, 2012 - 8:10 pm Reply

    You snow man is adorable. I am inspired 🙂

  • kasethepeanut December 17, 2012 - 8:15 pm Reply

    It’s actually kind of cute, in a sad way.

  • ainsley_brock December 17, 2012 - 8:35 pm Reply

    If you squint your left eye and then you squint your right eye and then you close them it kind of looks like a snowman

  • Valleygurlie916 December 17, 2012 - 9:30 pm Reply

    Given the piggy like nose, Calvin looks like a pig in a blanket. A cute little pig in a blanket.

  • LKGirlHPFan December 17, 2012 - 9:50 pm Reply

    Don’t feel bad, apparently I’m not an average person either. I don’t own a white tube sock. Or patterned socks. Or loose buttons. Or a hot glue gun, for that matter.

  • kjdennen December 17, 2012 - 10:00 pm Reply

    Nailed it! Your love snowpig is precious. 🙂

  • KungFuAlex December 17, 2012 - 11:05 pm Reply

    I don’t have any white tube socks either.  I do have both white and patterned socks, but none that go above the ankle.  High socks, like high underwear, are unbearably uncomfortable.

  • athenahm December 18, 2012 - 7:05 am Reply

    Honestly? That’s pretty fucking adorable. Good show.

  • nakura December 18, 2012 - 8:15 am Reply

    Aaawww! Love it! Looks like a great Sock Snowman … Pig! 😀 Greeting from Germany

  • aMUSEme8 December 18, 2012 - 9:15 am Reply

    Ok, maybe it’s just me but i’m pretty sure he looks like a thug! Snoop Snowman, looks like he could put a cap in someones ass…..just sayin yo 😉

  • aeeyore30 December 18, 2012 - 9:35 am Reply

    I agree that it is a gansta snowman. It can’t be cute because honestly, can a gansta be cute? I think he is bad ass. 😉
    Nailed it.

  • DaisyDesigner December 18, 2012 - 9:40 am Reply

    Flamin’ love piggy thug.  I like it.

  • Ethne Hedren Denham December 18, 2012 - 10:45 am Reply

    The first one is butt ugly.  The whole idea is stupid.  If one must be made, yours at least has character.  I love the eyes, nose arrangement.  He’s like Puss in Shrek. And then he’s just a hot mess, as signified by his ‘shirt’.

    • Ethne Hedren Denham December 19, 2012 - 2:46 pm Reply

      Evidently I’m super mean.

  • UnfitParent December 18, 2012 - 10:55 am Reply

    I don’t allow crazy glue in the house after the incident where I accidentally glued my mouth open.  Never try to bejewel a wine glass WHILE drinking and then attempt to remove the glue cap with your teeth.  Everything smelled and tasted like super glue fumes for a month.  2 years later, and I’m pretty sure there is still some on my teeth.

  • athenahm December 18, 2012 - 11:00 am Reply

    Had a thought, made me come back.  I know you said that you hate doing crafts, and you have to throw half of them away, but have you ever thought of selling them? I bet you there are folks here whpo would dive at the chance to possess a real live craft fail from you.

    • Truffles8761 December 18, 2012 - 6:30 pm Reply

      athenahm Or not.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the Pintester but I don’t display my own sh*tty crafts let alone those someone else conjured up.  But perhaps you are a more gentle and forgiving soul than I.  Someone has to be the balance for cynics such as myself.

      • athenahm December 19, 2012 - 1:30 am Reply

        Truffles8761 athenahm  Didn’t say that everyone would. Just that there are some out there who might.  I like funny stuff, and displaying something that is obviously not there for it’s beauty gets a conversation started.  I prefer to display my sense of humor more than have a “perfect” house with “ambiance”.  Everyone has a different prerogative.

  • inkgrrl December 18, 2012 - 11:55 am Reply

    I think Calvin is adorable, and much better a sock snowman than the paragon held up in the tutorial as your goal.

  • RinGilmore December 18, 2012 - 12:20 pm Reply

    Needs glitter, anyone know a flaming love snowman is also of the homosexual branch of the United Sock Snowman Association USS Ass. for short (see what I did there?)

    • athenahm December 18, 2012 - 12:55 pm Reply

      RinGilmore  I like you.

  • JulieHaywardBrantley December 18, 2012 - 1:05 pm Reply

    That rocks! I would display it…with a fucking spotlight on it! And then I would facebook it…that’s how much ass it kicks!

  • SherriPate December 19, 2012 - 12:45 am Reply

    Awww!!! I love his little nose!!! I this you did a great job!!! (You should definitely send it to me!! I can put it in my bathroom ;))

    • SherriPate December 19, 2012 - 12:45 am Reply


      • SherriPate December 19, 2012 - 12:45 am Reply

        No joke, you made me want to go get socks to make these lil guys!! I think I just might!!

  • CrystalKYuhhyzaguirre December 19, 2012 - 1:10 am Reply

    pig nose o.O

  • songbird83 December 19, 2012 - 8:38 am Reply

    Your snowman is super cute!  I don’t think you messed it up as much as you think.  I am glad to find someone else whose socks are all throw backs from the 80’s with funky patterns.
    On another note, no one in my house is allowed to be alone with crazy glue (least of all the adults).  I have glued myself to soooooooooo many things and my husband is lucky not to fall down looking for the flippin stuff.

    • Ethne Hedren Denham December 19, 2012 - 2:48 pm Reply

      I super-glued my finger to my tongue once. True story. Because licking it off my finger is the solution. They didn’t stick together long, but the super glue did stick to my fingerprints and my tastebuds, respectively.

  • Jessica Jackson December 19, 2012 - 6:30 pm Reply

    Super glue always glues stuff to my hands like 10x better than it’ll glue the things I want it to glue together.

  • Malyssa Gilliam December 20, 2012 - 1:09 am Reply

    I like it! He’s cute and has personality! That’s a lot better crafting than I can ever do…

  • Lora Brothers Mathews December 20, 2012 - 7:43 am Reply

    It’s a cuddly biker snow pig!

  • Christine Kerns Gillette December 20, 2012 - 1:16 pm Reply

    I would Instagram the shit out of that adorably FABuuuuulous Flaming Love SnowPig. Calvin is just a hunk-a-hunk-a burning love.

  • Judith Fain Davis December 20, 2012 - 6:09 pm Reply

    I think he looks like a snow pig. Not a good look…

  • A. Noelle South December 21, 2012 - 12:58 am Reply

    I would so sit Calvin in a highly visible place of honor. I think he’s adorable!

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  • Unonimous December 21, 2012 - 5:52 pm Reply

    So Funny! Thanks for the Laughs!

  • ladypatg December 21, 2012 - 6:21 pm Reply

    I like Calvin. A flaming snowman is an interesting concept.

    One of my favorite ornaments was a gift. It’s a critter of some kind (impossible to tell) in a stocking with crooked opposite side of head googly eyes. Some of us just have a warm spot for misfit toys. Calvin qualifies!

  • Rene December 22, 2012 - 11:22 pm Reply

    lol! I really think he’s a cutie – but I would wrap him up as a gift for someone “special” and then snigger whilst they open it!

  • Katheryn Beerman December 25, 2012 - 6:44 am Reply

    it’s the perfect oxymoron, the flaming snowman – it should be our mascot!

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  • Candy Britt Miles March 21, 2013 - 10:34 pm Reply

    I think he’s kind of cute.

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    […] a penis pun on the same card. Bravo. And she sent me presents! Socks, because I sacrifice mine for the good of the Pintestes, a paint chip so I can make my own ombre penis, and buttons to fill […]

  • imawesome July 12, 2013 - 3:18 pm Reply

    Dying. Of. Laughter. Also, it kind of looks like a pig snowman.

  • Pinteste Round-up: The Dude Abides | Pintester September 6, 2013 - 9:32 am Reply

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  • alihaider December 8, 2013 - 6:17 am Reply

    I like Calvin. A flaming snowman is an interesting perception

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