You guys, I know it’s St. Patrick’s day and I am supposed to be out pretending I am Irish and drinking green beer and Guinness until I am wailing Irish jigs and stumbling behind bushes to relieve myself in public, but I am too old for that shit.
So I made cupcakes instead.
At least they’re festive cupcakes. Because I attempted these shamrock cupcakes.
These are just regular old cupcakes except that you use marbles to turn the cupcake papers into a shamrock shape.
Of course, my first problem was finding marbles. They are surprisingly difficult to find at my usual errand-running locations (mostly the grocery store and the liquor store, if you want to know the truth), so I had to make a special trip to the craft store to find some. I did eventually meet with success.
To raise my chances of completing this recipe, I began with a boxed cake mix. If you know me, you know that taking as much of the complication out of baking as possible is always a good thing in my case.
And then, because I am a festive little fucker, I added green food coloring.
I actually added a lot of food coloring, but there seemed to be an upper limit as to how green I could get the cake batter to be.
Then, as per the directions, I spooned the batter into a baggie to make a piping bag so as not to slop batter everywhere while trying to fill the shamrock-shaped cupcake liners.
I still managed to make a giant mess of it, but I can’t imagine how bad it would have been if I’d tried it without the bag.
I had really, really low expectations for these, you guys. Even normally, I am not great at turning out beautiful, uniformly-shaped cupcakes. So this seemed doomed to disaster.
And, it’s true, they were not beautiful…
But they are certainly not the ugliest thing I have ever baked, by any stretch of the imagination. And sometimes, that’s good enough.
After I de-marbled them and reshaped them a little (which involved pinching extra bits off and eating them, so a winning proposition, really), they didn’t look half bad.
And here’s where I truly admit how much confidence I had in these: I was so convinced that even the baking of these would result in catastrophe that I didn’t even bother to go buy anything with which to decorate them.
So I slapped some icing eyeballs on there and called it good.
So, happy St. Patrick’s day, one and all. I leave you with an old Irish blessing that I just now made up:
May the wind always be at your back, and if you drink too much, may your green vomit at least be sort of amusing.
P.S. Today is the last day to vote in the 2013 Weblog Awards! I am up for Most Humorous and Weblog of the Year, and I am super excited about it. If you like this blog (and I assume you do, if you’ve read this far), would you please consider voting for me? Smoochies and thank yous!
I think yours turned out great. You are way more ambitious than moi!
The shape is awesome and as usual, the adornment, phallic. Happy St.Patty’s, crazy girl.
i feel like an a-hole for saying this jasie lee – but there’s no such thing as st patty’s day, that’s just a horrible lazy americanism – it’s either st patrick’s day or paddy’s day. k-thanx-bai…!
Thanks for showing your douche-baggery. Cause you know there is no such thing as a hard working American. I’m also sure where ever you are from only speak in full words and perfect sentences.
i admitted to my a-holeness, so you’re more than welcome for the douche-baggery i threw in for free there. not sure how hard americans work has to do with the lazy abbreviation of a country’s national holiday though? if you ask any irish person who ‘st patty’ is they won’t know. cause he gosh darned just don’t exist, y’all.
“Lazy Americanism” not sure what your definition is of lazy, but here’s the definition in case you forgot, ” Unwilling to work or use energy; characterized by lack of effort or activity.” Pretty much summed up that Americans don’t work. Also ‘St. Paddy’s and ‘St. Patty’s’ have the same number of letters…who’s lazy again? Many people mistake the t sound for the d sound and vise versa.
i’ll go with the *actual* definition of ‘americanism’ if that’s ok with you, which is a word or phrase originating in america. my definition of ‘lazy’ would be someone who engages in an argument without googling a few facts beforehand. you might take a hint there. LOL. oh sorry, LAUGH OUT LOUD 😉
I see no reason why someone from America wouldn’t take offense to that. Just to appease you here’s the Webster Definition to Americanism: : 1 a characteristic feature of American English especially as contrasted with British English
: attachment or allegiance to the traditions, interests, or ideals of the United States
a : a custom or trait peculiar to Americab : the political principles and practices essential to American culture
I’m not sure how you can justify assuming all Americans are lazy. Boo hoo she said Patty’s instead of Paddy’s. Ugh.
oh you poor deluded soul. i never said all americans are lazy. can you read? the use of the term ‘st patty’ as opposed to the actual name of the national holiday of ireland is lazy and most irish people take offence to the use of the americanism st patty. that’s my point. ugh.
I can read just fine. For someone who can’t even use proper capitalization you are in no position to criticize whether someone is literate or not. But I digress, go back to your stereotyping…
oh dear *lord* you are funny. one day you’ll come back and re-read this and hopefully a lightbulb will go off for you. hey maybe it’ll be on the 4th of july – happy indy day in advance!
Well happy Indy day in advanced to you too. See isn’t better to be nice to people? 🙂
you know what? you’re absolutely right. who cares if we insult the national holiday of small country? let’s just do it with a smile! 🙂
Irisheyes, you need to find yourself some new hobbies.
i’ll say it again.. penis cupcakes. naughty baking ftw.
But what did you and CC think of the cupcakes? Good lord.
I LOVE CUPCAKES!! AND GREEN!! Green penis shaped cupcakes are the best thing in the whole wide world!
ouch.. i thought we were besties. =(
LOL, Of course we are besties. 🙂
thanks for coming to bat for me Chelle, but I actually am completeeeely lazy. and i exaggerate and slur my speech. but i still think that this should be about cupcakes.
LOL. Not a problem. People who chalk everything up to Americans being Lazy (I swear a purple elephant with a leprechaun riding on its back would be us lazy American’s fault), really annoy me. 🙂
Whoa!!! Wait just a second there! So…you’re saying St. Patrick / St. Patty / St. Paddy doesn’t exist? Next you’re gonna be telling us there’s no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. I’m just not down with that kind of blasphemy.
Can I just settle this with information gained from actual Irish people? I took Irish Gaelic classes, and here’s the deal: Irish people say either “St. Patrick’s Day” or “St. Paddy’s day.” There are two reasons for using “Paddy”: Patty is the shortened form of Patrick, which is the anglicized version of Padraig, an Irish name from which Paddy comes from. Some Irish people take offense to “Patty” because it comes from “Patrick,” the anglicized name (those people are ultra-nationalistic and say St. Padraig’s day, or the Gaelic equivalent, and they are not the majority in Ireland). But, for most people, they take offense to “Patty” because in that country, “Patty” is ONLY ever used as a nickname for Patricia, which is a girl’s name. So, by saying “St. Patty,” you are calling one of Ireland’s most important historical and religious figures a girl. Basically, the confusion between “Paddy” and “Patty” comes from when Ireland that had the English language forced upon it, which resulted in some unexpected linguistic quirks that persist to this day. The end.
a handful of friends born and raised in ireland don’t celebrate ST.PADDY’S day at all, they say it’s rather unimportant there. I really don’t see what all this history has to do with penis shaped cupcakes.
That is a very good point.
Thank you for explaining that more in detail than it just being lazy Americans. I figured it had to do with linguistic changes, since T and D are commonly mistaken for one another.
Somebody appears to be taking her patriotism a bit too far. “lazy Americanism” means that that particular Americanism is lazy (ie saying “Patty” or, for that matter “Paddy” instead of Patrick) it does not mean that Americans are lazy. It’s the same thing as saying “I’m making soup the lazy way, from a can, instead of from scratch.” It doesn’t mean, or imply laziness in other aspects of life. Get a grip.
well, since you spelled my name wrong let’s just call it even. p.s. pointing out other peoples mistakes doesn’t win you friends and influence. super even now. ; )
If we are going to get all literal I feel compelled to point out that Saint Patrick was not even Irish, he was born in the British Isles and was captured and enslaved by the Irish at a young age. Therefore who’s to say what the correct abbreviated version of his name is or should be.
PS being “offended” by the way someone abbreviates a name is just silly. There are far more offensive things in this world, childhood cancer, animal abusive, child abuse, abuse against women, just to name a few. If you really want something to be offended by maybe suggest you go to rockstarronan.com and read about a little boy who fought cancer.
I feel like there’s a joke in here somewhere about green penises (penii?), especially once you put the frosting on.
They kind of resemble some odd type of camouflage….
http://www.penispans.com/ Because when I clicked the link from Pinterest, I immediately thought of you.
I think this is a great go-to recipe if one wants cupcakes all to themselves. They looked like they had bites taken out of them before you took bites out of them. Win, win, win, win, win.
I love cupcakes, but green cupcakes make me feel like I’m eating fungus. 🙂
First thing I thought of when I seen these was shrek poop 🙂 Thank you for always making me laugh!! P.S. – I just went and voted for you for the bloggies!! Good luck!!! 🙂
This could also be used for a festive treat celebrating 4/20 hehehe. Ahhh, the old hazy, munchie- filled memories of college at an arts school… 😉
happy st patties!!! boo yeah!
Errrrmmmm…I really like these cupcakes and I don’t care what the holiday is called or abbreviated to. “On yer” Sonja…that’s an Australian abbreviation for “good on you”…a colloquial form of congratulation!
Just found your site. Via Pintrest, of course! Hilarious 🙂 Loved the added frosting eye-balls by the way!
I don’t think those are eye balls.
should have teamed this up with cocknails, 1. Because they look like deformed penii(penis in plural latin form) and 2. Because it was St Patricks day, and you are supposed to drink anyways.
Yes! Green nails, green beer, and green cupcakes! Perfect!
I usually like to read the comments but not these because fighting about spheling is boring.
Well now I really want a cupcake. You are detrimental to my diet (I have NO willpower), but I love ya anyway 🙂
Yup…I thought that was a penis when I clicked on this…
Nothing like eating bits of green phallic shaped cake on St. Patrick’s day, am I right? You could have done a Mickey Mouse type of thing for parties later one with this technique.
Wow, it looks like a blind Mokey fraggle! Or maybe she just has cataracts?
[…] I decided to give it a try on my bathroom faucet since my kitchen sink is currently full of marbles with green cake stuck to them. […]
I had green sick once, it made me laugh in a pitiful way before gagging and being sick again…the curse of having a birthday on St.Patricks day…sigh
Hmmm. Happy St. Penis Day?
[…] hell, I had some marbles because I bought some for my shamrock cupcakes, so I thought why not? (Hold my beer, watch […]
[…] gels will help you achieve the super-vibrant color you were looking for recently with your cupcakes. Plus, dying regular chocolate chip cookies bright blue is fun any day of the year. P.S. […]
“May the wind always be at your back, and if you drink too much, may your green vomit at least be sort of amusing.”
You definitely want the wind at your back when vomiting, or they may not let you back in the bar.
*insert a penis joke here*
Sorry, but if you’re seeing penises that look like that, then it’s time to find a new boyfriend!
Good thing for me I’ve never had a boyfriend, then.