It’s been a while since I’ve mixed pantry shit and rubbed it into my face, so I thought I’d give it another go. This one is a DIY exfoliating scrub.
Not pictured is a missing ingredient: honey. False advertising.
I decided to quarter this recipe since it seemed like a lot of exfoliating scrub and I wasn’t planning on using it on my whole body, especially because I wanted to post pictures of it on my blog. Of course the daring Wisconsin housewife who originated the recipe posted this:
For many long moments I could not figure out what body part it was. Thigh? Extreme lower back/extreme upper butt? Neck roll? Someone else had to point out to me that it’s a belly button. Ohhh. Now I get it.
Even still, I was not about to post a naked body part picture on my blog, thankyouverymuch. Yes, I do post the frequent penis picture, but they are always cartoon penises (mostly drawn by me), and plus penises are just funny. None of my naked body parts are funny. Don’t laugh.
Anyway, I assembled a quarter of a recipe worth…
And then my nice camera’s battery died, so we are going old school up in this bitch. That’s right. It’s time for crappy iPhone selfies taken with the inferior front-facing selfie camera. (Here is where I admit that this post is mostly an excuse to post pictures of my stupid face, because you guys seem to like it when I post stupid face pictures. Pander mode: activated.)
Oh yes, this is going on my face. And probably in my belly– let’s be honest. I can’t not at least taste these things. And I have to say, it was pretty good.
Here is my Before Face:
Here is my During Face:
And before I show you my After Face, let me tell you that my nieces made me watch The Princess Diaries with them this morning, which is one of my favorite Ugly Duckling stories ever, partly because Anne Hathaway! and partly because Julie Andrews! and partly because Meg Cabot! (who is the author of the book the movie is based on) and also partly because Mandy Moore!, if I’m going to be totally honest, and anyway, I am highly suggestible so I was fairly convinced that a brown sugar face scrub was going to turn me from geeky unwieldy glasses-wearing socially awkward teenager to PRINCESS OF GENOVIA OMG.
Sadly, no. It just turned me into a slightly more exfoliated version of a 30-something-year-old woman who is still a little obsessed with Mandy Moore and Julie Andrews and uses her nieces as an excuse to watch dumb movies.
And so, the After Face:
In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that my face felt nice, so I tried it on some other body parts, too, and they also felt nice. I am still not going to post pictures. No. Nope. Not gonna happen.
But if you’re going to put some shit from your pantry on your body and rub it in, this is not a bad recipe to go with.
Yikes, that picture is poorly framed. You should never have multiple options as to what a piece of skin could be. Especially when you’re smearing brown goo on it. Ick…
The scrub itself sounds interesting. All the ingredients seem legit though. I’ve seen them all used in successful skin treatments. Might be something to try later, especially since you said that it works.
This morning I discovered that Netflix has tons of early 80’s-mid 90’s Disney flicks. I never knew this because my Netflix page doesn’t show me children’s films since I don’t have children. I don’t get it though, because I love that shit and I have some time off when hubs has to work, so crafting and Disney movies ahoy! Pretty stoked, I haven’t seen The Rescuers in ages.
Oh, the face scrub looks lovely.
The Rescuers is CLASSIC!!! I love Bernard and Bianca. <3
ha ha ha… This is so great! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
I used my nephew as an excuse to read Captain Underpants.
1. omg i laughed for 30 hours looking at that pic of the belly button
2. Yay Meg Cabot! I used to think those books were the funniest thing in existence.
I have re-read the Percy Jackson and The New Olympians series many, many times using my children as an excuse (“Mommy just wants to make sure it’s age-appropriate, okay? Okay.”) I use a similar scrub–just brown sugar and olive oil– on my upper arms because I have those weird bumps on it. It works pretty well but you have to use it ALL THE TIME.
Make sure your lotion doesn’t contain lanolin. If it does, try switching to one that doesn’t have it and your bumps may clear up.
I don’t use body lotions; usually, I just slather on some organic, cold-pressed coconut oil after my showers. I’ve had these bumps my entire life and at this point the only thing that has worked is constant exfoliation with a moisturizing scrub like the olive oil and brown sugar.
I actually tried this one a while ago. I liked it, but not enough to waste honey. I LOVE eating honey and this just wasn’t worth it.
I do love ridiculous face pictures of you.
That belly button pic is gross! Not to say that your belly button is gross, it could be beautiful for all I know. What I’m trying to say is you made a wise decision to use your face. 🙂
I actually love this scrub( I have used it several times) ,however, if you have a septic system do NOT use it. Oil in a septic = MEGA repair.$$$
Hm, didn’t think about that. Good to know.
Love it! Sugar scrubs are always a fun once a month thing. You come out pretty smooth, but the bathtub gets sticky. Also your front-face camera works a hell of a lot better than mine…
I use one that is just olive oil and white sugar to exfoliate my face about once a week. 1 tsp olive oil to 1 tsp sugar.
I read harry potter to my five year old. not that you need an excuse to read harry potter
I think you look glowy in your after pic.
I needed a good laugh today, glad I came to catch up on my favorite blog 🙂 Thanks for that.
Mandy Moore!!! My guilty pleasure…. (and I mean that in a truly non-sexual way)
that was ann hathaway not mandy moore… though they do seem like the same person
Mandy Moore is in the movie, as one of the kids that make fun of her, if I recall correctly.
I can admit that I do use my two year old as an excuse to every Disney princess (and non-princess) movie. When I decide I want to watch them, after twenty minutes her attention span ran out and I am caught up the story.
This is so funny!! Will have to try it out.
I LOVE PRINCESS DIARIES. My only daughter is named Amelia. And we call her Mia because of this movie and because she is my princess!