Pina Colada Green Smoothie

0 Posted by - July 19, 2013 - Food & Drink

My husband was out of town this week, so I did some bachelorette things, like watch back-to-back chick flicks, wear the same clothes three days in a row, sleep in the bed diagonally, and have pina coladas for dinner.

That last one’s not quite as bad as it sounds, though. It was actually a green smoothie.

You could add rum, but I’m being all virtuous this week (or at least saving my cheats for something better than rum).

I assembled my required ingredients…

pina colada ingredients

Except, you know me. I didn’t have frozen pineapple. (Who the hell has frozen pineapple just sitting around?) But I did have a can of crushed pineapple and that, my friends, is called innovation. (Or laziness. You pick.)

I quartered the recipe because: (1) I didn’t have that much pineapple, (2) my blender is tiny, and (3) the original recipe makes a metric fuckton of pina colada. Also, I did add a few ice cubes since my pineapple wasn’t frozen. Remember: innovation.

(This is a very bad photograph of my tiny blender, full to the top with a quarter of the recipe.)

(This is a very bad photograph of my tiny blender, full to the top with a quarter of the recipe.)

Turns out that a beer glass is the perfect size container for what a quarter of the recipe makes. It also turns out that you can’t really even taste the spinach, but you can still fool yourself into thinking you’re having a nutritious dinner, because spinach.

Bottoms up, fellow bachelorettes.

pina colada smoothie


  • Jodee Rose July 19, 2013 - 3:54 pm Reply

    This looks pretty tasty but coconut milk and my intestines do not play well together.

  • Tracy Greenlee July 19, 2013 - 4:20 pm Reply

    Some big box stores like Target carry frozen pineapple…just in case you get the urge to tweek your “version”…FYI. Carry on!

    • Shila Gillotte July 19, 2013 - 5:39 pm Reply

      Or, y’know, you could just put regular canned pineapple in the freezer.

  • Cassy M. July 19, 2013 - 4:34 pm Reply

    There is something magical about being able to sleep in the bed diagonally.

  • Kelly724 July 19, 2013 - 6:55 pm Reply

    When I’m home alone I play video games in my wedding dress. I don’t wear the veil though, that’s just too much.

    • Staciehew July 21, 2013 - 7:14 pm Reply

      Your significant other was certainly right to lock it down with you.

  • Elaina July 19, 2013 - 9:03 pm Reply

    YESSSS! Nutritious and delicious. Now I have another excuse to have a pina colada.

  • Kim @ Soliloquy Of Food & Such July 19, 2013 - 9:16 pm Reply

    Ha! I always sleep in the middle of the bed when the hubs is traveling…..and I pretty much eat cereal, 3 meals a day, until I run out and have to cook something.

  • Victoria Steck Nardone July 19, 2013 - 10:56 pm Reply

    So I think I’m going to take your word for it that you can’t taste the spinach and try this recipe. I hate spinach though, so I really hope you’re not wrong. 🙂

    • Tara July 22, 2013 - 8:55 am Reply

      Spinach is SO good for you-learn to love it!

  • Sara Weeks July 20, 2013 - 1:21 am Reply

    When I’m home alone I let the dog sleep on the bed and I cuddle him like a teddy bear. Also, pina colada flavored anything is gross. I’m still trying to convince myself I like coconut because it’s so good for you.

  • jun July 20, 2013 - 7:23 pm Reply

    Can we get a little more feedback on how it actually tastes, though? It’s cool that you can’t taste the spinach, but did you actually enjoy it, or was it meh?

  • Eleni July 20, 2013 - 8:44 pm Reply

    What did you “innovate” for that tropical smoothie mix stuff? Is that really necessary?

  • Chrissy Z July 20, 2013 - 10:06 pm Reply

    I loved it when you wrote “a fuckton!” I am so going to add it to my daily vocabulary! Thank you for always making me laugh!

  • pins&needles July 21, 2013 - 11:54 am Reply

    I would like to try this but could you tell me the conversion of a metric fuckton to an imperial shitload? Thanks!

  • Jaime Huff July 21, 2013 - 5:18 pm Reply

    LOL! I keep bags of frozen pineapple in my freezer at all times. Mainly because I love it and don’t like canned pineapple (the whole tinny thing bugs me too much). However… this looks and sounds DELISH!

  • Ashley Bee July 22, 2013 - 11:36 am Reply

    Glad it worked! I love that brand of coconut milk…

  • kittnen July 22, 2013 - 2:59 pm Reply

    I drink green smoothies every morning for breakfast. Seriously, you can’t taste the spinach at all.

  • Brittany Pike July 22, 2013 - 10:25 pm Reply

    Considering your use of “metric fuckton” I am venturing a bet that you are a fellow Dexter fan? All my favorite phrases come from Deb…

  • sara July 24, 2013 - 4:31 pm Reply

    Nice! This is one green smoothie that actually looks pretty yummy (most of them look gross to me!)

  • Erica July 27, 2013 - 7:25 pm Reply

    Thanks for posting this. I tried my first green smoothie today and loved it! I used almond milk instead and it was very tasty.

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