DIY Candle Designs

3 Posted by - February 4, 2013 - DIY & Crafts

This pin test was originally posted on CraftFail.

This post about decorating candles got pinned and captioned improperly a whole bunch on Pinterest, but it turns out that there actually are real working instructions.

Contrary to weird Pinterest captions, you do not draw on the wax paper, or draw on the candle, or draw a design backwards and then iron it on, or any of that other stupid shit.

The blog post clearly instructs you to draw the design on tissue paper, just the way you want it to appear (not mirrored). Sounded easy enough, so I gathered my materials.

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First, I taped a piece of tissue paper about the size of my candle to a piece of regular paper. This step is only so the design won’t bleed through the tissue paper onto, like, your kitchen table or your pants. You’re welcome.

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The blog post then tells you to go find some cute kids to draw a design on your paper. I don’t have any cute kids, but I am resourceful, so I recruited my husband.

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(Yes, the scenic view from our living room is of dumpsters. You get used to it.)

Guess what he drew.

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Yup.

So I cut out the design and prepared to adhere it to the candle.

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Here’s the step where it got creative on Pinterest. Despite what you may have seen in the caption of this pin, here is what you really do: You place the tissue paper on the candle where you want it to go. You wrap a piece of wax paper around the whole thing. You heat it with a heat gun.

So I did that, except I didn’t have a heat gun. I panicked momentarily, but then I realized I have a heated implement which blows hot air, and it was probably close enough.

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I crossed my fingers and blasted the candle for half a minute or so with heat from my very old and relatively cheap hair dryer. Ok, well, I didn’t really cross my fingers because my damn hands were full. It’s a figure of speech, people. Jeez.

And you know what? It worked! The tissue paper (the whole chunk of it, not just the ink) adhered to the candle! Amazeballs.

And now I have this lovely gift for someone very special… I just have to decide who… Maybe a teenager. I could incorporate an object lesson about the dangers of unprotected sex, and then light the candle and say, “Now do you want your penis to feel like it’s on fire? No? Then use condoms.”

And all of Sonja’s nephews lived happily ever after. The end.

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49 Comments

  • Doctor Lightbulb February 4, 2013 - 9:41 am Reply

    BRB – making wenis candles.

  • lizmk February 4, 2013 - 9:45 am Reply

    I feel like you should auction it. I’d pony up at least three dollars.

    • Staciehew February 4, 2013 - 9:58 am Reply

      Or a giveaway!

    • Pintester February 4, 2013 - 10:03 am Reply

      Stay tuned. I have plans for the candle. :)

      • Katie February 4, 2013 - 2:19 pm Reply

        Girl, you nasty!

        • Pintester February 4, 2013 - 2:23 pm Reply

          That made me LOL, not even lying.

          • Corien Bier February 4, 2013 - 2:43 pm

            Oh … Blush … Now I am not looking forward to your ideas with this candle anymore.

          • Caroline Burkhart Askew February 5, 2013 - 10:11 pm

            At least it’s not a taper.

  • lynncs February 4, 2013 - 9:57 am Reply

    That is a true work of art, but I think lizmk is right, you should auction it up, I might cough up 3 dolla and tenty-fi cents…..

  • blargh-y February 4, 2013 - 10:06 am Reply

    thank god it’s not a scented candle.

    • Lynette February 5, 2013 - 6:18 am Reply

      O.M.G. It totally SHOULD have been a scented candle. That would have been awesome… something earthy….. like Christmas Conifer or Mahogany Spice or Patchouli. Better yet, buy the oils and wax and make your OWN scented candle…. like Aux de nutsack or something equally sweat-scented.

  • Kendra February 4, 2013 - 10:10 am Reply

    My husband walked by as I was looking at this and asked if your husband was “tracing” his package for this pin?

    • Pintester February 4, 2013 - 10:13 am Reply

      He would like everyone to know that this is a scaled down version and his is much, much bigger.

      • Katherine Horejsi February 4, 2013 - 6:19 pm Reply

        Yeah, like he would need one of those humongous church candles or something. I think he may be related to my hubby too!

      • Kendra February 5, 2013 - 7:11 am Reply

        That goes without saying.

  • Sue Ware February 4, 2013 - 10:26 am Reply

    Too funny~

  • Laura February 4, 2013 - 11:18 am Reply

    BAHAHAA. I heart you. :)

  • rndoblio February 4, 2013 - 11:22 am Reply

    We have a penis power-washed into our driveway…with the little hairs included. Our husbands are obviously related.

    • Ashley Martin February 4, 2013 - 7:36 pm Reply

      haha oh god… this made me die laughing. the things your neighbours must think. i have a strong suspicion my boyfriend could also be related to your husbands. he likes to make far to many penis jokes.

      • rndoblio February 5, 2013 - 8:31 am Reply

        Is that a prerequisite to be a guy? He thinks it’s funny and new every time he makes a dick joke. :)

  • Corien Bier February 4, 2013 - 12:04 pm Reply

    I guess sending it to Europe is not an option, I don’t think (thank G) it will pass customs. I vote for make it a glitter candle artpiece. Lots of inspiration on Pinterest. Or melt the whole piece into a teacup, also seen on Pinterest. Good luck! But I am really looking forward to what your plans are….

  • kmitch February 4, 2013 - 12:10 pm Reply

    Perfect! It makes me a little sad though that when you light it creamy white stuff is not going to shoot forth. Rather it will just drip down the side making a mess all over the sheets…i mean table :(. Story of my life.

  • Andie Shack February 4, 2013 - 12:19 pm Reply

    HAHA. nailed it.

  • Jess Webb February 4, 2013 - 12:50 pm Reply

    That is the best candle I have ever seen. I’m going to go re-create it, right now, and give it to my mother-in-law for her birthday :)

    • Chelle Crew February 4, 2013 - 8:49 pm Reply

      LOL You should make a vagina one and give it to your father in law! It would be perfect.

      • Leslie Bean February 5, 2013 - 8:28 am Reply

        A vagina candle and a penis candle…sounds like unity candles at a wedding…

  • kate February 4, 2013 - 1:03 pm Reply

    You literally nailed it.

  • atoucofyou February 4, 2013 - 3:17 pm Reply

    But what happens when you light it? Does the tissue paper catch on fire? Does it even melt? I’m dying to know!

  • steen February 4, 2013 - 7:19 pm Reply

    funniest thing ever, candle used in a sex ed class. I am using that next year during sex ed!

  • Katherine Horejsi February 4, 2013 - 7:56 pm Reply

    I’m pretty sure you could sell these on Etsy as Dicks Wicks or Jacks Wax…arf arf!

  • Truffles8761 February 4, 2013 - 8:42 pm Reply

    Lovely. I recommend putting it in a prominent location for visiting in-laws, clergy, or grandparents.

  • Holly Slade February 4, 2013 - 10:21 pm Reply

    It worked!!!! Wow!!! Well the candle worked anyway….

  • BeckyAPitt February 4, 2013 - 11:52 pm Reply

    Martha Stewart can only dream her candles feature balls with barb wire hair

  • Lisa February 5, 2013 - 5:10 am Reply

    I saw this pin a few times then thought, can’t you just draw directly onto the candle? Or doesn’t permanent marker work on candles, or does that take all the fun out of it… I should go check before posting this but the markers are too far away, I can see some candle though…

  • Lisa Creech Bledsoe February 5, 2013 - 8:15 am Reply

    My favorite part of this is the (FREE!) moral. I bet your nephews think Auntie Sonja is more than a little wack. (Which, of course, is true.) :)

  • ChickieD February 5, 2013 - 9:35 am Reply

    You could recycle the caption on the original pin “Grandparents fill the world with love” on your own design. Just a suggestion. I think it would add a little something.

  • Laurie Hunter February 5, 2013 - 9:40 am Reply

    hmmm nailed it eh….. is it a that what she said moment………

  • Ethne @ www.wom-mom.com February 5, 2013 - 10:58 am Reply

    How have none of the 36 Pintestes before me commented on the wick clearly shooting white gizz straight out the head? It’s a pure effing masterpiece.

  • ajt February 6, 2013 - 11:46 am Reply

    Well – now we know your husband is cut…

  • Tracey Gonneau February 6, 2013 - 7:48 pm Reply

    I got tree-fiddy for dat…C’mon tree fiddy!

  • Reagen John February 7, 2013 - 5:15 pm Reply

    To bad the candle isn’t dirty twat scented. If you want to send it to a teenager, I am always here.

  • Carrie Johnson Bricker February 7, 2013 - 5:46 pm Reply

    Laughed so loud I just woke up the cat. She ran.

  • Crystal Puckett February 8, 2013 - 3:39 pm Reply

    fyi I just pinned this how-to from your page so that my pin would have the cock candle on it.

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  • ellie February 15, 2013 - 7:32 pm Reply

    Even though I knew what was coming i still laughed so much at this when i saw the finished product!! I think i might try this though def not pinterest fail, every home needs a cock candle!

  • Mermaid500 March 9, 2013 - 6:10 pm Reply

    Does it matter what we use to draw with? Can it be crayons? Do certain markers work better than others? Should I use pens?

  • Denise June 8, 2013 - 12:22 am Reply

    My husband is crying he’s laughing so hard.
    It’s not every day you see a dick candle.

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  • Georgina Measey September 10, 2013 - 3:33 pm Reply

    I laughed so hard I had to explain this whole post to my mum, that wasn’t awkward at all!

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