Actual Advice Mallard

0 Posted by - January 6, 2013 - Quotes & Memes

I think I’m going to start calling some of you Actual Advice Mallard, because I swear this is totally giving me deja-vu…



  • pins&needles January 6, 2013 - 1:55 pm Reply

    When reading a humor blog, it helps to actually have a sense of humor.

    • Piggie4 January 6, 2013 - 2:05 pm Reply

      Now this i have to agree with

    • Jessi January 6, 2013 - 2:55 pm Reply

      My thoughts exactly!

    • Erin Guest January 7, 2013 - 3:30 pm Reply

      Can I pin this comment?

    • la dee dah January 10, 2013 - 6:55 am Reply

      These were my EXACT words when I saw this pin. LOL.

  • EK January 6, 2013 - 2:10 pm Reply

    But why be a pin tester if you’re essentially not testing the pins, you’re just… doing random crap and failing at it?

    • rfoust January 6, 2013 - 2:13 pm Reply


    • Michelle January 6, 2013 - 2:16 pm Reply

      What part of “humor blog” are you having the most trouble with?

      • EK January 9, 2013 - 10:09 am Reply

        What is so hilarious about not following directions? I see the humor in testing a popular craft/ recipe as it is written and having it turn out very differently. But substituting all of the ingredients and method then thinking it is hilarious that it turned out differently? That’s not funny.

        I think that the premise of this “humor” blog works if you actually do what the pins say. “Actual Advice Mallard” has a point. I first found this blog informative (trying things I had seen and seeing how they went) and amusing (the actual failures of the popular pins), but soon realized that it was not really that. It’s just someone trying to make jokes while making nonsensical substitutions to recipes or craft instructions and then being amused that it didn’t work.

        • Katherine January 9, 2013 - 4:52 pm Reply

          It’s ok that you don’t get the humor, a sense of humor is a very personal thing. But can I recommend that you stop reading the blog…or if you can’t even do that…stop commenting on it. You are NOT the target audience (trust me on that) and you’ll just aggravate yourself. Take a day off…go make something crafty or cupcakey…and remember to follow all the instructions.

        • Sarah Schlegel January 10, 2013 - 9:37 pm Reply

          I think that when you don’t like something, instead of being an angry stalker person about it, you should just stop reading. That is, unless you plan to vent your frustrations out on EVERYTHING that you don’t agree with on the internet.

        • Michelle January 10, 2013 - 10:36 pm Reply

          Okay, so the particular humor of this blog is lost on you. Fair enough. But it is billed as a humor blog and some people obviously do find the humor in it, so why not allow that it’s just not your thing? Just because it’s not funny to you doesn’t mean it won’t be funny to others. It’s our differences that make the world interesting.

          OMFG, somebody stop me before I start singing Kumbaya…

          For example: I, personally, don’t think Jim Carey is funny. I don’t respond to that by sending him emails or tweeting about how he isn’t following the correct methods of comedy; I just don’t go see his movies. So, seeing as you don’t find this blog funny…

    • Brittany Lynne Borden January 6, 2013 - 8:06 pm Reply

      Because I can do random crap and fail at it all day, every day.

      But seriously, most of these pins only work if you’re super artsy or a god at baking. Who has all these ingredients? I bet you do. I just bet you do…

    • Craig Thom January 7, 2013 - 2:19 am Reply

      Because it’s funnier this way.

      I am not an Pinterest user and I have no interest in having pins tested. I read this blog because it is funny.

    • Megan DeForest January 7, 2013 - 3:30 pm Reply

      Somebody missed the point of the blog…

    • Erin Guest January 7, 2013 - 3:31 pm Reply

      The tagline of this blog is “Fucking up pins so you don’t have to”… HINT HINT HINT.

    • PrincessRainbowSprinkles January 7, 2013 - 11:54 pm Reply

      it’s no fun if you do exactly what the pin says to do… takes more creativity to swap out stuffz… plus trying pins could get really expensive if you went out and bought exactly what the blogger had every time…

  • Michelle January 6, 2013 - 2:13 pm Reply

    Where’s the fun in that?

  • Emily1022 January 6, 2013 - 3:34 pm Reply

    Please continue to fuck shit up, it makes my day!!

  • Amanda January 6, 2013 - 4:37 pm Reply

    Don’t stop believing

  • Crystal Kelly Yzaguirre January 6, 2013 - 8:53 pm Reply

    Unless you are some sort of crafty cooking superstar chances are the average person doesnt have all this shit just chillin in their house. I usually decide to try something spontaniously so I dont always have everything exactly as the instructions call for. I think she is just demonstrating what a normal person would do. Plus the things she changes are not usually so wildy different than what is called for that it should dramatically change the end result. The fact is usually even if you follow the directions to the letter it still doesnt look like that pretty picture. so get a fucking sense of humor or dont read it. am I right?

  • Truffles8761 January 6, 2013 - 10:50 pm Reply

    Even when I have all of the proper ingredients/supplies I fail. If I want to read about craft wins, I’ll go read up on Martha Stewart’s blog. If I want humor, I come here.

  • farmama January 7, 2013 - 2:15 am Reply

    Your standard response to the Nasty Nellys out there, just more proof of your comedic genius! Wonder if you can photoshop the above mallard waving with his middle feather..
    SHEESH! I never knew people could get so passionately bent over SOUP! Well done girl, you inspire passion!! Does the “feel free to send me the right ingredients” also pertain to a pin we’d all LOVE to see you tackle? Like, say, the dishwasher salmon? My only hesitation is mailing you some salmon, although it is cold outside, and a trip from one midwestern state to another may just keep it cool enough… (and yes, I am too chicken shit to try to do it myself, I rely upon your skillful improvisation and confidence for such things).

    • pins&needles January 7, 2013 - 11:56 am Reply

      So you’re saying that what these people lack in sense of humor they make up for in ability to copy with precision?

      • pins&needles January 7, 2013 - 1:00 pm Reply

        Sorry, that last comment was meant to be in reply to ChickieD. Oops!

      • ChickieD January 8, 2013 - 10:32 am Reply

        Ha ha. I saw that. Yes, pretty much. Yes.

  • ChickieD January 7, 2013 - 11:25 am Reply

    I don’t really mind the people who feel like you should be following the directions verbatim. One of the reasons i love this blog is that I am the sort of creative person who always likes to put my own twist on things. I am constantly substituting in recipes because I want to go ahead and make them but I am missing an ingredient or because I think I know how to make it better just from reading the ingredients list. I just don’t get those crafty bitches who have, you know, a whole room devoted to their stamping activities (an actual friend of mine- ok, acquaintance). Being crafty seems to involve a rule following gene I am lacking. My hats are off to these gals for being able to make floral arrangements and decorate their houses in ways that are attractive rather than bizarre. If it weren’t for the actual advice mallards, where would we Pintestes be – we’d have no one to look up to with resentment and awe.

  • January 7, 2013 - 12:44 pm Reply

    I like that you don’t always follow the directions. If I don’t have something needed I try to use something else and your are showing me that with certain pins you cant subsitute. That and getting them right all the time is boring.

  • Whimsey January 7, 2013 - 1:54 pm Reply

    I suspect MANY of the pin-posts, even if followed explicity to the letter, will never turn out. Ever. Which is why this blog is so funny! You get it…or, (I’m looking at you, here, EK) you don’t. My co-worker can thank me now, and later, that I didn’t let her put brown sugar/water mixture on her hair in order to straighten it.

  • Erin Guest January 7, 2013 - 3:29 pm Reply

    I HAVE tried pins using all the proper materals. I’ve gone out, bought shit and brought it home specifically to try these crafty pins out. I am convinced the creators of these wonderful crafty things are LYING. It never works. So… yeah. Like someone else said, if I want to see craft work, I will watch Martha Stewart …. or…Changing Rooms or Better Homes & Gardens or… Look up fucking youtube and watch Threadbangers. Sheez.

  • MamaMetal1010 January 8, 2013 - 1:30 am Reply

    Please and thank you leave this URL for cockblocking dickheads who try and harsh our buzz.

  • MamaMetal1010 January 8, 2013 - 1:36 am Reply

    And for what its worth, does anyone test these pins to the letter? I’d like to meet the mother fucker who has time to create a scarf out of a t-shirt, modge podge everything in sight, create culinary masterpieces with the greatest of ease, fix salads out of vegetables whose names I’ve never heard nonetheless am able to pronounce, organizing their house like Martha, making vegan burgers, pinning inspirational quotes they will never remember, and using mayonnaise in their hair.

  • Mandy May 10, 2013 - 2:24 pm Reply

    The funny part about this blog is that you represent a “real” person on Pinterest. Let’s be honest – unless you are specifically executing a pin for the sake of perfection/gift-giving/whatever, most people tend to wing it.

    So even though I fully admit, I have thought, “why the F is she surprised this looks/tastes like shit when she didn’t follow the damn directions”, I’m also the chick who has wrecked countless crafts, etc. because I didn’t read things through properly. The only difference is that you actually make it public, and I only have to answer to my husband, who shakes his head at me and asks why I keep trying things from “Pinfuck”.

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