Rolo Stuffed Ritz Crackers

0 Posted by - April 19, 2013 - Food & Drink

I bought a box of Ritz crackers and a bag of Rolos a week or two ago because I knew I was going to do this pin for Rolo stuffed Ritz crackers.

Image from Something Swanky (When I saw the URL, I thought it was Something's Wanky... that could be the subtitle of THIS blog, though.)

Image from Something Swanky (When I saw the URL, I thought it was Something’s Wanky… that could be the subtitle of THIS blog, though.)

When I went to the cabinet this morning, this is how many Ritz crackers were left.


It’s possible that I have a Ritz-pilfering house elf, but it’s more likely that my husband found them and ate them all.

I did manage to hold on to most of the Rolos… although I may have had 7 of them for breakfast this morning. (What? 7 is one serving. No judging.)


I feel like a dumbass posting process pictures of this because, come on, guys, all I’m doing is putting a Rolo on a Ritz and melting it.


The original post didn’t say how long to leave them in the oven, but mine were in there for about 8 minutes.


Another cracker on top, and done. My kind of baking.


Lest ye think these turned out perfectly, because how could they not, I shall once again demonstrate that I am capable of fucking anything up. A couple of them spooged caramel.


Even still, I would say that they generally looked like the original.

I was sort of expecting them to taste like something greater than the sum of Ritz and Rolos, but they didn’t really. I would have preferred a higher Rolos-to-Ritz ratio, actually. They were a little bit too salty for me. (You like all the math in that paragraph? Yeah buddy.)

But, hey, if you’re a useless-sack-of-dicks type of person in the kitchen, like me, this one might be good to keep in your file.



  • Heather April 19, 2013 - 3:25 pm Reply

    You never know when PMS will come along and leave you with a mad craving for this unholy alliance of cracker and chocolate caramel spooge.

    • Katherine Horejsi April 19, 2013 - 5:12 pm Reply

      Good call. And with the general marshmallow theme going on in other comments it could be a S’more-ish thing too. How fab!

  • Kristin April 19, 2013 - 4:15 pm Reply

    When I was younger I would eat marshmallow stuffed ritz crackers. Imagine that spooge scene.

  • Clark McGee April 19, 2013 - 4:53 pm Reply

    You mean to say, with all that spooging, it was just too salty for you? Well, maybe if it had marshmallow and was a whiter cream…

    • Llama spit April 19, 2013 - 6:02 pm Reply

      Or, mayhap it just needs to be washed before you put it in your mouth. Ballsweat ain’t good, menfolk! IT AIN’T GOOD!

  • whiskeygirl7 April 19, 2013 - 5:19 pm Reply

    Lmao the ad today at the top of the page is saying “curb your craving for alcohol” me thinks there is a lack of appreciation for your cocknails!

    • Llama spit April 19, 2013 - 6:03 pm Reply

      Mine is for equifax. How boring. On the bright side, we can still get those miley cyrus sex tapes from the ad on the side!

    • Lesley Davis April 20, 2013 - 2:18 pm Reply

      Damn ad blockers, spoiling my fun.

  • fluffygirl April 19, 2013 - 6:03 pm Reply

    Maybe if it were between 2 cookies instead, and substituting some G&T for the Rolo’s. Win-win, right there!

    • Llama spit April 19, 2013 - 6:04 pm Reply

      Oreos! Heck yeah! Oreos and rolos! Call it Rorleos!

      • fluffernutter April 19, 2013 - 7:28 pm Reply


        • Pintester April 19, 2013 - 7:51 pm Reply


          • Kim April 19, 2013 - 8:23 pm

            Areolas? I mean oreolos? (What?)

          • Llama spit April 26, 2013 - 7:59 pm

            You win!

      • Angie April 20, 2013 - 1:02 pm Reply

        YOLO-RE-OLOS! You only live once oreo rolos.

    • Kendra Smith Caudill April 21, 2013 - 7:47 am Reply


  • Deborah Smoak Bobo April 19, 2013 - 7:17 pm Reply

    Made these for dessert at the homeless shelter…used the Wallmart version of rolos. Less unwrapping and a bigger piece of candy. They were really good! At least the homeless folks thought so!

  • embers618 April 19, 2013 - 7:47 pm Reply

    You say “useless sack of dicks” as though a sack of dicks would be useless… I guess in the kitchen they might be 😉

    • lat April 19, 2013 - 10:22 pm Reply

      dicks are never useless. especially not in the kitchen! 😉

    • Kendra Smith Caudill April 20, 2013 - 8:37 am Reply

      I would have to say that it depends on the condition of the dicks. Are they flacid? Because the only real use a flacid dick has is the spewing of urine all around the toilet. (And maybe a hearty giggle. Proof God has a sense of humor.) Now a bag of erect dicks is another story. Stand 4 on their base and viola, you have a stand for you serving platter. I am sure there are more great uses for an erect penis in the penis in the kitchen, besides the obvious “on the kitchen table” scenario.

      • Cassie April 21, 2013 - 8:53 pm Reply

        perhaps displayed artfully in a vase as a nice centerpiece.

  • moonwyrm April 19, 2013 - 8:18 pm Reply

    Dip ’em in Chocolate, it would help even the sweet-to-Ritz ratio.

  • Beth Caudill April 19, 2013 - 8:30 pm Reply

    You may have cooked them too long. Generally 2 – 5 minutes is enough time to soften the chocolate. (okay I make a lot of candy at Christmas and one of the favorites is rolos and pretzels). I think I prefer peanut butter on my ritz. You gonna do the PB/Ritz/Dipped in Chocolate thingies? That way you can feed your Ritz elf some more.

  • Amanda April 19, 2013 - 8:35 pm Reply

    When I was younger I would make homemade thin mints. Melt chocolate, add mint extract and dip Ritz crackers into it. Taste really similar to the original. I bet the Rolo/Ritz combo would be good dipped in chocolate!

    • brigidkeely April 20, 2013 - 2:02 pm Reply

      yeah, I hopped on here to share that. Dipping these in/drizzling these with chocolate would help cut the saltiness.

  • Andrea Fouste April 19, 2013 - 8:38 pm Reply

    This looks like cum oozing out of crackers. Delish!

  • Kaeleigh Mills April 19, 2013 - 9:43 pm Reply

    I can have the worst day in the world and then I get on Pintester and my day becomes excellent, your witty use or words and corny puns make life worth living because I know that I can go home and try something on pinterest and hey, if it turns out wrong at least I can have the can-do attitude that you have. Thank you for being you, you truly are an inspiration!

    • Pintester April 19, 2013 - 9:53 pm Reply

      Aw, thank you, sweetness! Comments like yours make my day!

  • Dionce April 19, 2013 - 10:32 pm Reply

    tried this with pretzels instead of crackers and it was pretty darn good

  • Jennmarie68 April 20, 2013 - 12:38 am Reply

    if all spooge were caramel flavored i’d be the fattest woman alive, but think how happy my fiance would be!
    and even though someone beat me to it i have to say that i would never call a bag of dicks useless. especially if this whole caramel spooge thing happens

  • Crystal Kelly Yzaguirre April 20, 2013 - 7:21 am Reply

    you know what else is salty? sacks of dicks.

    • Lesley Davis April 20, 2013 - 2:19 pm Reply

      Only after they have been shaken…

  • Kendra Smith Caudill April 20, 2013 - 8:24 am Reply

    Chocolaty, buttery, trans fat deliciousness.

  • Kaley April 20, 2013 - 12:17 pm Reply

    I think the oozing spooge had to do with pulling out at the wrong time. (What? Out of the oven! Get your ind out of the gutter…)

  • Lynn Steffen April 20, 2013 - 3:55 pm Reply

    OMG That is the BEST EVER last sentence in a blog post! Like Ever! Seriously! Love it!

  • Athena Holter-Mehren April 20, 2013 - 6:04 pm Reply

    Hehe. You said spooged.

  • Kristi April 22, 2013 - 9:46 am Reply

    I find that the pretzel/rolo/pecan combination has a more pleasant sweet to salty ratio. Or the pretzel/kiss/m&m is also a good. choice.

  • Bonnie April 22, 2013 - 7:00 pm Reply

    Its better with pretzels.

  • salsanfeffer April 24, 2013 - 9:10 pm Reply

    I like the ones with pecans that resemble little vaginas. I just can’t bring myself to eat them though.

  • Homemade Tortillas | Pintester May 13, 2013 - 1:20 pm Reply

    […] for the rest of the day. I barely move from the couch, getting up only to stuff my face with Rolos occasionally. I also write some, but you know. Writing involves sitting and moving only the muscles […]

  • Jackalyn May 17, 2013 - 8:22 pm Reply

    Totally dip them in chocolate!

  • Sand Dollar Cinnamon Sugar Cookies | Pintester May 27, 2013 - 10:04 am Reply

    […] operations have not gone according to plan. Also, you will note from previous entries that I am a useless sack of dicks in the kitchen, and precision is my baking […]

  • Pardon the Cheesiness | Dirt & Frosting July 11, 2013 - 10:50 am Reply

    […] B) that I couldn’t fail too badly at, because, quite frankly, if I failed at melting a Rolo in between 2 Ritz crackers, I’d have to hand in every Girl Scout badge I ever earned. And I’ve definitely had some […]

  • Judith Elsroad August 13, 2013 - 1:40 pm Reply

    I know i’m four months late to this, but my grandmother makes these amazing Ritz cracker cookies. She makes a million Ritz cracker/peanut butter sandwiches and then dips them in melted chocolate. When i was in college, all i wanted in my care packages was Ritz cracker cookies. Practically perfect in every way.

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