Cranberry Ginger Gin Fizz

1 Posted by - January 8, 2014 - Christmas & Holiday, Food & Drink

I was originally going to do this test at Christmastime, but hell, it’s always the season of drinking, amirite? Time for a cranberry ginger gin fizz.

It actually took me an inordinately long time to test this because I ran out of gin (GASP!) and I didn’t give enough of a shit to go to the liquor store and get more (DOUBLE GASP!), that is until this week. I started back working full time (at, you know, a job where I have to do more than make cocktails and fuck up my nail polish) and I’m also nursing a wicked shoulder ouchie from Crossfit and/or stress and/or general stupidity (i.e. sleeping on it weird), and gin is just what the doctor ordered… if the doctor is sarcastic and sort of rude like yours truly.

I already had all the other ingredients, including cranberry juice from this one time when I invited people over and someone brought it to make drinks with and I kept it, orange juice that I bought my niece because she hates apple juice now*, and ginger ale that’s been in there for months and is probably only “fizzy” in the sense that it once was fizzy and it still made a tiny “fssshhht” noise when I unscrewed the cap so I called it good.

fizz ingredients

*A side note story about my niece…

Niece (3 yrs old): I don’t like apple juice. It’s disgusting.
Her mommy: No it’s not.
Niece: It is indeed!

She is smart and hilarious, just like her auntie. (Also beautiful.)

I decided this would be just the occasion to use my penis stemware. (What? You don’t have penis stemware?)

penis stemware

Guys, I don’t know about the color on this. This is before diluting it with ginger ale and it is not cranberry-colored in the least. I don’t know why. I followed the measurements. I swear. Hey, at least there’s a penis.

And it tasted good. (The drink, not the penis.) A little un-fizzy and could have used more gin (heh), but good. Two peens up.


Cranberry Ginger Gin Fizz
Article Name
Cranberry Ginger Gin Fizz
The Pintester tries out a Christmas cocktail, a little late, and also makes penis jokes, which are always timely.


  • Jennifer Bickford January 9, 2014 - 3:01 pm Reply

    How the hell did they get it that color? Blood orange juice? Cranberry ginger ale? Food coloring? Seriously when you mix some yellowish with something orange and something red you don’t get deep red. It does sound tasty though and kudos for having all the ingredients!

  • Oriana January 9, 2014 - 3:54 pm Reply

    You know what makes it really red? Cranberry juice that has been turned into a syrup. Blend that in with the gin, the ginger ale, a bit of orange juice et voila, you will have your ultra cranberry colored drink. The cranberry has to be concentrated and boiled down so that it maintains it’s depth of color.

  • Alie January 10, 2014 - 10:26 am Reply

    Throw some of your super awesome red food coloring in & you could call it a Bloody Penis. When you’re drunk, it’d be easier to order another Bloody Penis than another cranberry ginger gin fizz.

    • Rachel Gaughan January 10, 2014 - 7:53 pm Reply

      Bloody Penis. This needs to be a thing…. Ya know, in the land of booze. Cause it would be awesome.

  • BrendaSue January 10, 2014 - 11:40 am Reply

    What have I been doing with my life that I do not own penis stemware? You are hilarious, love your blog!

  • Netla January 10, 2014 - 4:00 pm Reply

    Oriana’s explanation about the color sounds about right,
    although I was going to suggest that maybe you need to use pure cranberry
    juice, not a “cranberry juice drink” with about 30% cranberry and 70%
    water content, which is what I did (couldn’t get anything else). My first try turned out pink, not orange like than yours, but probably only because I used a smaller glass and thus less ginger ale. It’s a pretty tasty drink, whatever the colour.

    Love the peen glass, by the way.

  • Lindsey L January 10, 2014 - 11:02 pm Reply

    I love reading your blog! Always so funny. And I had to add…there is a simple drink called a Bloody Cock…

  • supporter January 11, 2014 - 2:43 am Reply

    You mentioned going back to a full time job. Are you still going to keep this site?
    – concerned supporter

  • Ethne Hedren Denham January 15, 2014 - 4:24 pm Reply

    I feel like they cheated and added grenadine for red color. Or, perhaps you didn’t add the rosemary sprig which woulda displaced the color spectrum and made it redder. (I completely made that up.)

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