I can’t tell you how many people saw that you could mail your enemy a bag of dicks and then let me know about it this week. It’s because you are My People and I love you guys. So thanks for sharing.
To add to our repertoire, we may also want to consider buying shipadick.com, which mails penises with sayings on them.
(Mine would say “Villanova” on it because they totally fucked my bracket right in its brackety butt this weekend. I feel ya, piccolo girl.)
Also, they have this:
Yes, a glitterdick.
Which leads me to the inevitable conclusion that we should also acquire sendyourenemiesglitter.com. Except then we’d have to, you know, touch it. Yech.
Yes, my little Pintestes, while you are daydreaming about wearing blue glittery tulle and being swept off your feet by a charming prince, I am dreaming about blue glittery tools and being swept off my feet by the fantasy of owning a penis-shaped island and a gummydick factory. Pintester Life, y’all. #PintesterLife