Blue Balls

0 Posted by - February 5, 2012 - Food & Drink

Ok, these aren’t called blue balls by anyone but me. The original pin actually called them raspberry balls. But blue balls sounds funnier, right? Right?

The main attraction of this pin for me was the caption: “Raspberry Balls: It’s incredibly simple and uses only four ingredients! Jello gelatin, coconut, sweetened condensed milk, almond extract.” Because anytime something is a little more than simple and has more than four ingredients, things get messed up pretty quick around here. But even I can handle squishing four ingredients together… right?

Well, your first clue that this wasn’t the greatest idea ever is that I decided I knew how to do it better than the recipe, and I bought blue Jello. Because blue balls are funny. (Laugh, damn it. It’s funny.)

Once I mixed it all up, it looked a little like I imagine it would look if you put a Muppet through a food processor.

G is for gorey, that's good enough for me.

Also, it was verreh messeh.

As far as the taste, I was sort of hoping for an explosion of awesome. Instead, it was sort of a crunchy, sugary, slimy mess. Also, images of Muppets and blue balls collided in my head and it made me gag a little. But that’s probably a personal problem more than anything else.

I conclude that this is not really my thing. But I’m bringing them to a Superbowl party anyway because I’m just a giving person like that (and also because I don’t have time to make anything else). So I’ll be spreading the blue balls love this evening.

It’ll be worth it purely for the opportunity to serve them while saying, “Here, eat my balls.”


  • Beth Caudill February 5, 2012 - 3:14 pm Reply

    You could always dip half in chocolate. chocolate covered balls are even better.

  • I’m Not Dead Yet | Sonja Foust February 24, 2012 - 4:53 pm Reply

    […] I am responsible for these blue balls. […]

  • No-Bake Energy Bites | Pintester June 2, 2012 - 12:11 pm Reply

    […] begin with, I was a little bit dubious about this recipe. We know how the last balls with coconut in them turned out. Buuut, it gives me the opportunity to write the word “balls” in a post […]

  • F Saunders June 14, 2012 - 5:07 pm Reply

    Oh man I used to make these with Mom as a kid. We used strawberry jello and then formed them into strawberry shapes, then dipped them into more strawberry jello powder. We even had plastic strawberry stems to put on top. I hope she still has the stems. 11-year-old me loved making and eating this dessert. Not sure I’d like them now as they are very sweet and yes, you’re pretty much eating sugar-crusted coconut, but hey once in a while it’s fun to relive your youth.

    BTW, the blue ones would make for a funny bachelorette party snack…

  • Samantha Torres June 24, 2012 - 1:17 am Reply

    I fucking love your blog! I agree that blue balls is far funnier and that alone has tempted me to make them for my friends regardless of how they taste, it’s just tooooo funny not to! Keep up the good work my friend!

  • Richell June 25, 2012 - 12:59 pm Reply

    Just came across your blog. I can’t stop laughing! Must stop reading.. Must get back to work.. Ok I’ll read one more.. Maybe five. Fuck it I don’t need to work!

  • Dana Deacon June 26, 2012 - 10:13 am Reply

    so question…. did people at the football party like these??

    • Pintester June 26, 2012 - 10:14 am Reply

      No one ate them. But it could be because I presented them with a flourish and then demanded that they eat my balls. Not sure.

  • Becka July 3, 2012 - 10:52 pm Reply

    Blue balls…. I did laugh… laughed so hard I fell out of my chair and now my fiance is probably rethinking things…. hahaha
    I will make this soon, just to tell people to eat my balls….. you are amazing

  • MlleMeri July 3, 2012 - 11:59 pm Reply

    Doode, I wanna be your friend. Fucking hilarious!

  • Lauren February 4, 2013 - 12:17 am Reply

    wait, is it the 5th already?! oh god…guess i’ve been making so many blue balls that the time has just shrunk away…

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